ignorance.is.a.feminine.virtue

A change

2006 went and here comes 2007....

Let's leave all the words, experiences and whatever else from the past 3 years here and start afresh elsewhere...

When I started reading my cousin's blog, I like how organized her blog is....

So....I've moved here....

Update your link-ups and bookmark of my blog aite!!

QueenLiyn@22:37

------------------------------------------------------------

Year 2007 Resolutions

So, I'm done with MNG for this season. Yesterday was my last day there. Going back there to only collect my pay, next year.

Alhamdulillah...I made it through the semester again. I think this semester, I did better than my last two semesters. I'm finally promoted to FINAL year....WHEEE!!!!!! Soon enough, I'll be on the road of life....
Anyway, here's how my results look like:

Structure Design (CV3203): D
Water Supply Engineering (EN3502): C
Wastewater Engineering (EN3503): D+
Solid Waste Engineering (EN3504): B-
Geo-environmental Engineering (EN3505): B
Hydraulics (EN3601): C+

Well, 2006 comes to an end tomorrow and 2007 depicts a brand new year for all of us. A brand new year means new resolutions. As usual, I've set some resolutions for myself, but this time, I've reduced the amount of resolutions as things are going to be more complicated than before. So here goes:

1. I'll learn to save as much money as I can for future use. I'm currently labelled as a spendthrift and also an irrational shopper.
2. To obtain my driving license within a year.
3. To improve on my grades and work towards a degree with honors.
4. To strengthen the bond of love between me and my dearessssst as we work towards our 3rd year of being together-gether. He knows I lurrrrrrvvee him very very the much....hehehe....
5. The most important thing is for me to start learning and thinking like a wise adult rather than taking everything in life for granted. In life, there's no "free lunch".
6. To accept whatever He has planned for me in life.....

I'm happy that a year of hopes and dreams come true has come to an end while a new year with new hopes and dreams is about to start....

I'm going to be out of the country till next Tuesday. I'm going to miss particularly my cats whom have been seeking for my love and attention everyday. I'm definitely going to miss my dearest cause I'll not be hearing from him for a few days. But this time, I'm not so worried about that cause I know that he's not going to be miles and miles away from me. He's actually going to be within the same country as me. Hehehehe......who knows kalau ader jodoh...kiter jumpa kat saner...I'll be so damn happy and glad to be with you there...Hahahaha....

Well, I'll end my entry for today here. I just want to wish all my Muslim readers and friends Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha. And also Happy New Year to everybody!!!!

QueenLiyn@23:04

------------------------------------------------------------

a good day

2 more days before I end my ad-hoc job at MNG for this season. Not really sure whether I'm going there again next season...but if I'm in need of ka-ching ka-ching ($$$) then, I'll go back.

Anyway, last Sunday, before I start work at 3pm, I was out with my dearest since morning. We went to Orchard to just spend time together and have lunch. First, we headed to MNG to purchase part of my reservations there and then, we walked around to find a suitable place to have lunch. In the end, I suggested that we eat at Thai Express at Paragon. I had Sweet Sour Fish whereas he had Pineapple Rice.

His (Pineapple Rice)

Mine (Sweet Sour Fish)

After that, we walked around to look for something that he's looking for and in the end, we headed to the top floor of Wisma Atria. We sat there for a while to enjoy the peacefulness away from the crowd. We talked, did a word search puzzle and then, we took photos together....

It's been rather quite some time ever since we spend real time together. I've got a plan for us.. Hmm...perhaps early next year, when I received my pay, we'll both go to Vivo City together. We can shop as well as watch a movie together...hehehe....

2 more days before I get my examination results. The day that I've been waiting for, for quite some time. I dreamt that I got straight F's on my results slip. I'm pretty worried now.... *sighs*

QueenLiyn@21:35

------------------------------------------------------------

Year 2006 Summary

The fact is that I just reached home from work. Tiring day. My waist hurts so badly. The thingis that instead of working till on Sunday, I've gotta work till next Friday. Very sian but it's rezeki, I don't want to reject it.

Anyway, Year 2006 is coming to an end soon. I'm pretty late in blogging an entry to summarize my year cause of my busy-ness. I've yet to set proper new year resolutions for year 2007 cause I can't really think of any but well, here goes the summary first.

Year 2006 becomes a stepping stone for me to adulthood. I turn 21 on this year and honestly, I don't even feel like an adult. I have a legal ticket to R(A) movies, but I have yet to receive
the key to my freedom. They said that the only key that I'm going to get is the key to my HDB flat which means that marriage is the only key to my freedom. But I don't want my marriage to be due to the wrong reasons. I want freedom as in not being tied down by heavy responsibilities and duties. I don't want to be controlled and high expectations are being set on me.

Therefore, this whole year, I've been emotionally tormented. Sort of actually. I had heated arguments with my parents many times but in the end, I apologized. I've been seeking for their understanding and been running away from their overprotection until to the point that I wanted to run away from home. Thank God for my wisdom, if not, I won't be here blogging. I just don't want to be a child anymore. I just want my freedom.

Well, physically, I managed to maintain my weight, even though I binge quite a bit whenever I'm stressed up. I also started wearing make-up. I learn how to put on moisturizer, then concealer, then foundation, then blusher, then eye-liner and lastly mascara. For your information, I import most of my cosmetics. I also learn how to take care of my hair cause I intend to grow it longer and therefore, I have to keep it healthy. So, I apply olive oil to it like for almost every night to ensure that it's moisturized. Basically, this year I learn how to take care of myself physically and it's hard work lah...especially the maintaining part....

In terms of studies, I've always tried my best-est. Giving up is never a choice. Although my results are not as good as during my poly days, but Alhamdulillah, berkat doa ibu and all my hardwork, I managed to pull through my 1st year in NTU.

The only HUGE achievement for me this year involves my relationship with my ever-so-sweet boyfriend. The year started pretty rough for us. We did celebrate our second V-Day together but then, he disappoint me with his absence at my birthday party. I remembered how much I wanted him to come, but he never showed up. Instead, I had to lie for his sake. Well, in the end I did forgive him but I'll never forget. We spent as much time together as we can before he got enlisted into the army in March. The day before he got enlisted, it felt like as if my whole world is going to crumble down without his presence and all.

I really did feel that way. I cried but not in front of him. That's when the bond started to form between us. Before that day, this special bond has never been there or there was lah but not as strong. After that day, sooooooooooooo many things started to change between us. For the first time in my whole life, I never felt the way I do. I'm in love but not only that, I'm happy. Trust me, I've been in love before but the other guys do not make me happy.

Anyway, the distance between us has made us become closer than ever. Till now, the special bond, called LOVE, is becoming stronger between us. Our relationship is not only the lovey-dovey stuffs which leads to ultimate perfection. We had a lot of arguments, misunderstandings and quarrels this year. This is an important part of building a relationship. A part whereby we learn to understand each other. We also turned 2 this year and we met each other's parents too. Aiyah...for me once only...not so stressed...hahahaha.....

This achievement has made me pretty proud of us. I hope one day, the distance between us will close and that we will have all the time in the world for each other, if you know what I mean. Hahaha...I'm willing to wait for the happiness that I seeked.

Well, he's been an important part in my life right now. I don't care what other people think...for him, I would do anything....

To end my summary, Year 2006 wasn't really a sucky year for me. I got mostly what I want and I own everything. What more can I ask....Alhamdulillah....my rezeki bertambah with each passing day....

QueenLiyn@00:04

------------------------------------------------------------

recharged

Finally, I have time and energy to blog a proper entry.

The past whole week has been an endless and long week as I worked my ass off, night and day. Been reaching home at midnight like for every night and I only get to have a proper meal after midnight. Can you imagine me working for 7 days straight without proper rest and all???

I guess it's all for the money. They pay good money.

Anyway, for your information, especially for shopaholics like me, MNG sale is halfway through and Guess sale has just begun. Coming up is Zara and TopShop sales. For MNG, don't miss it's second markdown at the end of the year. I reserved some stuffs from MNG, as per usual and I'm going for Zara's sale only. For now, I've got online shopping in my mind only, to buy lingerie, some nice tops and to replenish my cosmetics. Hehehehe.....

I know that people are waiting to get a slice of my cake. Can you all stop bugging me???
**************************

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

No.
Explanations.

Not. As. Easy. As. You. Might. Think.

1. Yourself?
- Fat

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
- Sweet

3. Your hair?
- Long

4. Your mother?:
- Busy

5. Your father?
- Slacking

6. Your Favorite Item:
- Handphone

7. Your dream last night:
- NO

8. Your Favorite drink:?
- tea

9. Your Dream Car:
- VW

10. The room you are in:
- mine

11. Your Ex:
- Gone

12. Your fear?
- Failure

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
- Mother

14. Who did you hang out with last night?
- Zufi

15. What You’re Not?
- Beautiful

16. Muffins:
- Chocolate

17: One of Your Wish List Items:
- Happiness

18: Time
- 2257hrs

19. The Last Thing You Did:
- TV

20. What You Are Wearing:
- PJ

21. Your Favorite Weather:
- Rainy

22. Your Favorite Book:
- Romance

23. The last thing you ate:
- Peanuts

24. Your LiFE:
- Complicated

25. Your Mood:
- Exhausted

26. Your friends:
- Shopaholics

27. What are you thinking about right now?
- Him

28. single or taken?
- Taken

29. What are you doing at the moment?
- this

30. Your summer?
- Studying

31. Your relationship status:
- Attached

32. What is on tv?
- Cold Case

33. What is the weather like?
- Rainy

34. When is the last time you laughed??
- Today

35. Hurt?
- Nopez
***********************
I miss my boyfriend. I miss my sweetheart. I miss my lover. I miss my dearest. I miss my Hatta. Can't wait to be with him again...hehehe....

And I have Year 2007 Resolutions to make....time for something new....

QueenLiyn@22:03

------------------------------------------------------------

messy life

I just feel sad for myself...

My life is in a mess...

And I'm falling sick...

QueenLiyn@00:38

------------------------------------------------------------

an imbalance

Now, I'm practically picking on my kuay teow kuah. One of the reasons is that...I have to filter as much mutton from my system as possible and the second reason is that, I'm exhausted.

So, I've been working my ass off. And yes, my ass is really hurting. So does my arms and my feet. Can you imagine...I started working only 5 days after the exams were over.... I'm at the brink of quitting after Christmas Day. The money is pretty good and well, I guess after working for merely 12 days, to support me and the 2 kitties, I think it's enough.

I need to rest cause I've yet to get over the emotional turmoil I was in during the examination period.

You know, above work...although I'm currently busy working and all, it doesn't change the fact that it pains me everytime, I think about him. I don't know when will be the next time we will be able to spend ample time together, or even have a long talk on the phone. It becomes something that worries me, a lot. You might say that it's nothing but the time we spend together is decreasing day by day as we get busier in our own lives. It will turn out to become a problem soon.

I thought it will become easier for us as the years pass by but I never thought that our honeymoon period is over so soon. Now, it seems that he's been sleeping too much and I've been losing too much sleep.

Breakfast later with him before work...like always...can't wait....

QueenLiyn@00:34

------------------------------------------------------------

a day for him

Today, my dearest finally turned 21, alongside with his twin brother and Taufik Batisah! Hehehe.....

So, we actually planned to spend time together. Last Friday, we actually encountered some problems about our date today. We were practically stuck in the middle and I actually gave up figuring out a solution for the problems, so I pushed everything to him. All I can do is pray that we will be able to be together today.

And so, he finally found a solution and we spent a quarter of the day together. We went to Orchard to just walk around and have dinner. The plan was to try the food at Ramen 10 at Far East Plaza but in the end, we went to an Indonesian Restaurant at Lucky Plaza to try the famous Ayam Penyet. It's pretty delicious for a simple kampung dish and the chilli was so damn overpowering!! I simply love this traditional Javanese type of dish.

After dinner, I wasn't full enough and I told him that we should try another famous delicacy in town, which is the Fried Mars Bars, at Far East Plaza. It was so damn sinful, man!! If you are on a diet, don't even think of trying this...

Well, at the end of the day, he went home with the gifts that I got for him. One is a special gift cause I would never give it to just any other guys and the other one is just a normal birthday gift, plus our thicker scrapbook. I'm glad that he likes what I gave him...hehehehe

Well, he just turned 21 and in 2 months time, I'm turning 22. He still owe me a proper birthday celebration because he didn't turn up for my party 10 months ago. Hmmm....we'll see.....

Today, also, is a special day for one of my oldest friends. Congratulations Hafizah on your engagement. Too bad I wasn't invited...=( (Apedah...)

P.S I know there isn't any proper photo of me and him on this day. So sad....

QueenLiyn@23:53

------------------------------------------------------------

a lifetime

Being a woman isn't an easy task...

It's a lifetime of pure misery...

It gets tougher as we grow older...

And it get's harder to stay strong...

QueenLiyn@23:52

------------------------------------------------------------

updates!!

Finally, I've regained the mood to blog again. So many things have happened ever since the exams were over.

On the Friday itself, after our Solid Waste paper, the 7 of us, consisting of me, Denise, Zhaowei, Aisyah, Suria, Jieli and Nadia, all went to Vivo City. It was our very first time setting foot inside that shopping mall. We had lunch at Thai Express. I had softshell crab with curry and rice. It was pretty delicious during the first few mouthfuls....and it got more bland as the more I ate...

After lunch, the 7 of us went from 1 boutique to another until all of us became very exhausted. One thing that prevented me from spending there, is the HUGE pricetag, and I'm not willing to part with that much money.

Well, after the exams, it's time that I start playing and guess what....I've been playing a BOY'S computer game. I've been racing cars on "Need for Speed Underground, Most Wanted". So far, I've challenged races with 6 of my rivals. SO nice to play...hehehe...and in there, I owned a dark blue Porsche and a red Mitsubishi Lancer.

Anyway, 2 days ago, I found out where I'm being posted for my upcoming industrial attachment. I'm being posted at CPG Laboratories Pte Ltd at Stadium Lane. The pros of being posted there is that my dad is working nearby at Bendemeer which means that I could save up on the transport fees and not forgetting, I can go lunch without paying for my own food. Hehehehehehehe.....and another pro is that I have Jieli and Stephanie as my company there. The cons is that it has nothing to do with Environmental Engineering and it's dealing with something which I don't really like to do. It's more towards Civil Engineering and everybody knows how much I hate that field....but haizz.....let's just be grateful and try to learn new things.

Yesterday, I went out shopping alone. The purpose of shopping is to get a birthday gift for my dearest. I wasn't actually sure what to get him before, until a brilliant idea strucked me the night before. Hehehe...a surprise is awaiting him....

Lastly, tomorrow I start work. I'm back at MNG Isetan Orchard as an ad-hoc. I need some extra cash for this vacation before I start my attachment on January next year. I'm back to working hard even though it has only been a few days since the exams ended...

Hmm...and I miss him badly...let's all pray that I'm able to meet him during his birthday... Cause now, meeting him becomes the toughest thing to do and I'm already in a pool of uncertainty. Oh God, please help me, I need my life back...!!

QueenLiyn@14:19

------------------------------------------------------------

air of freedom

Smell the air of freedom.....

*sniff sniff*

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!! NO MORE EXAMS FOR ANOTHER HALF A YEAR!!!!

YIPEEEEE!!!!!

QueenLiyn@23:41

------------------------------------------------------------

if i could....

Finally, I found this somewhere....

"If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
To the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my cheek,
The touch of your fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you."
- Courtney Kuchta

If only words are easy to be placed into action.....

QueenLiyn@00:06

------------------------------------------------------------

ending soon

I've been in the school library since 11-plus in the morning just now. I'm not alone here in the library. I have a very good company here with me. Hehehe....*wink wink* Anyway, tomorrow is my second last paper for the exams. I don't really know what to expect after going through the toughest paper of all....

Last night's paper was a killer even though it's an open-book exam. It was so damn tough that I could see my fingernails turning purple and the urgency to go to the toilet. I hope I'll at least pass that module.

Well, 4 more days to ultimate freedom, or should I say temporal freedom....hmmm....

QueenLiyn@17:29

------------------------------------------------------------

all in love is fair

I question myself...is all in love fair? Well, all relationships are not perfect but we will always try our best to make everything perfect. I felt really stupid, always being there for him, and him not for me. I felt that it was so unfair for him to be selfish. I thought in a relationship, we should both be fair to each other and that we should care for each other constantly.

There were times when he gave me the impression, "Hey, I'm stressed-up, I can't help you." For me, most of the time, I understand that impression and never did I ever complain or add in more of the stress into him. Instead, I would rather ask him what happened and somehow, try to cheer him up. Today, I start to complain cause I was feeling really stupid. The fact that he get what he needs and I never got mine, is what really makes me feel so dumb.

I was at the point of depression before the exams started. I was alone, battling with my own emotions and at the same time, studying for the exams. The pressure inside me was too much. Nobody knew, not even him. I suffered in silence. I even planned to run away from home. Run away from all my problems, from everybody who makes me miserable. I had the perfect place in mind to find my own peace. But Thank Allah, I kept my faith strong. I managed to come to my senses and now, I'm already halfway through the exams.

He on the other hand, doesn't know anything. I kept my silence because I don't want to appear as weak to him and that I don't want to be a burden to him. I don't want him to see me with tears in my eyes. He found out after I start to bitch at him. Definitely I felt bad but I was sad because he wasn't there for me. When I need somebody to talk to, he just wasn't there for me. When I need somebody to hold on to, he just wasn't there for me.

The thing is that I never gave myself or him any excuses for not being there for him or even others. I always want him to stay happy, calm and patient, no matter what situation he's in. I don't mind him ranting his problems to me cause at least, he knows that I'm there for him as someone to talk to. For me, I've dealt my problems alone all these years. I think now I need someone as my emotional support as I go through different phases of my life...

I have yet to know how it feels like to have someone who's there for me constantly, who gladly pampers and loves me constantly. I know that it sounds like too much...but be proactive, man! You should know what a woman wants....

I hope he's reading this and I hope also, that he's not mad at me for posting this here...hehe....

QueenLiyn@15:16

------------------------------------------------------------

problem-free days

I'm halfway through the exams period. 3 more papers to go before ultimate freedom. Next week, I'm having Structure Design on Monday, Wastewater Eng on Wednesday and Solid Waste Eng on Friday. I have so much to catch up on Structure Design. Not an easy module even though it's an open book exam. I hope it's not going to be the worst paper.

Today, Geo-Env was the worst paper that I sat for so far. I was mentally exhausted at the end of the paper and I couldn't describe the despair I was in while doing the paper for the whole 2.5 hours. Now, I just have to pray hard that I would at least pass the paper.

Anyway, it feels good to catch up with really old friends, especially those whom I'm close to last time. Girl or guy, it doesn't matter cause we used to be of the same clique years and years ago. I'm so missing those problem-free days....

Lastly, I miss my dearest. =( I wonder what he's doing in camp now....

QueenLiyn@22:14

------------------------------------------------------------