I went shopping alone yesterday. Bought a new perfume, a limited edition Estolia, and a new pair of heels from DMK. I wasn't conscious about how much I was spending, but at least it felt good. I also got my new handphone, SE W700i. I love it very much.....didn't trade in my SE Z600 as it is full of sweet memories. Hehehe....
I'm materialistically complete now.
Anyway, I'm feeling pretty upset right now. You know, I hate being an undergrad and I hate being the only daughter of the family. People place high expectations on me. I know I've always been the ugly duckling and never the candy in others' eyes, ever since I was very young. I've always been compared to others. I have to obey all the rules and I'm always to blame if anything went wrong.
You know, I've tried my best in fulfilling all their expectations. It was never enough. Being a woman is really a very tough job. Our responsibilities weigh a tonne. I'm not ready for such heavy responsibilities. I'm still finding my way in life and I need time to find myself.
Time will tell everything.
And at times, I question myself, will he ever be there for me when I need him most? I've always get the impression that my problem is my problem and never his. Although I could solve most of the problems myself, I wish I'm never that independent. And that's also the reason why I always keep to myself, my thoughts, my feelings and my problems, cause I don't have anyone to share it with.
As we came face to face with each other, eyes locked, I could feel the deadness of everything. There wasn't a twinge of feeling for him, anymore. No place for him in my life anymore.
The used-to-be empty space in my heart is being occupied by someone who deserved it more.
As we came face to face with each other, eyes locked, I could feel the deadness of everything. There wasn't a twinge of feeling for him, anymore. No place for him in my life anymore.
The used-to-be empty space in my heart is being occupied by someone who deserved it more.
As we came face to face with each other, eyes locked, I could feel the deadness of everything. There wasn't a twinge of feeling for him, anymore. No place for him in my life anymore.
The used-to-be empty space in my heart is being occupied by someone who deserved it more.
Yupz, the Malays will understand the title of this entry.
I just saw my Water Supply Results for yesterday's quiz. I deserve that mark cause I didn't take the quiz seriously and I didn't really study for it the day before.
I feel so numb right now. I better start my engine before things really start cocking up....
Finally, I've got some time to update. After a hectic couple of days, I finally feel settled and content. First things first, exams are in less than 3 weeks time and I'm drowning to the bottom of the ocean already. I'm just not ready for that huge huge hurdle that I have to overcome, but well, somehow or another, I have to get over it, right.....
Anyway, today, I finally get to be with my dearest after almost THREE weeks. He came to my school, sat-in in 1 of my lectures, ate lunch with me and lastly, went jalan-jalan with me. And guess what....I'm meeting his parents next week!!!! *heart thudds loudly* Oh wells, I have to do it anyway, somehow or another. We have been together for 2 whole years and I feel secured being with him. So, I'm willing to meet his parents...Haha.... He has met mine many-many times, now it's my turn!
Our relationship has been pretty low profile, family-wise, but very high-profile, friends-wise. Like he said, on his side of the family, our relationship is like buried underground whereas on my side, it's on a pretty low profile. Unlike my bro whose relationship is like OH-SO high profile, ours is still in wraps. I don't really like the elders to keep asking me about my Mat-Tahir cause it's not that I'm not proud about being with him, but it's just that, what's there to show off? I'm happy that at least my parents know and that they accept my choice. For now, I guess, that's all there is to it.
Above is a photo that we took in 179 on our way out of NTU. No wonder I don't get tempted by other guys, my dearest has always been my temptation......LOL LOL LOL
Selamat Hari Raya kepada sahabat-handai ku yang sangat-sangat rajin membaca blog aku ini. Sempena hari yang mulia ini, Liyana mahu menyusun supuluh jari, memohon maaf, adainya Liyana ada tersilap kata atau terkasar bahasa. Semoga kamu semua bergembira pada hari ini di samping keluarga dan yang tersayang. *sniff sniff* Terkenang aku kepada si dia....yang jauh dimata tetapi tetap dekat di hati....
Liyana sempat jugak ambil gambar warni-warni Aidilfitri di Geylang dan juga di Kampung Glam pada malam Hari Raya ini.
ehem...melawa ajer...hehe
Kepada abangku yang tersayang, hehehe, I tak sabar untuk bertemu dengan you lagi...lurpe samer you....hehehehehe...
(P.S. Tak sangka Melayu aku ni masih boleh pakai...hehe)
I'm currently in the school library. Printing notes for the whole week.
I'm SICK. Been running the flu ever since last night and I couldn't get to sleep the whole night!
What the hell I'm doing in school?
Don't ask me...I'm not supposed to be in school right now but people asked me to come. So, I came and I wasted my time here in school, with a head which is going to burst anytime soon.
And today is Hari Raya eve.
I should be at home for spring cleaning.
In the first place, I shouldn't come to school at all....
I just did some spring cleaning to my room. Changed the bedsheets and made the whole room smell like jasmine. It's as clean and neat like the time before I start school. I love my room. Hehe!~
A day more before Hari Raya Aidilfitri. I'm pretty excited about it actually cause we are going out on the first day of raya when we usually didn't, ever since my granddad passed away, 5 years ago.
But anyway, below is a video. It somehow serves as a reminder to us about how important family is. Enjoy!~
I'm currently thinking of what I'm going to wear to school tomorrow. I'm getting bored with what I have in my wardrobe. Perhaps I should go for some shopping soon? Hehehe...
Well well well, I've been studying. But HONESTLY, I hate Geo-Environmental Eng. Define for me the word EASY. Dammit...I just can't get that module but well, I'm trying my best....
Anyway, the last time I heard from him was this EARLY morning, around 4-plus. I couldn't even remember what I replied to his message cause I was half-asleep while typing. Hehehe.... He made me miss him. Although we are separated by the distance between us, he's always near to my heart. I'm just going to look forward to spending time with him. Dear, I want to go out!! I need to have some fun before I get tied down by the exams!!!!!!!!
*sighs*
Another school day tomorrow....but I'm skipping the first lecture of the day cause it happens to be Geo-Env Eng...
While I'm typing this, I'm thinking of him. The last time I heard from him was this morning, on my way to school, when he told me that he's reaching Tekong's jetty soon. Oh yes, he's back there again but thank God, it's only for 4 days!! It's been more than a week since we've met and it's been a very long time ever since we've spent proper time together.
It's been a month and I miss the times we've spent together. Our morning breakfasts, watching movies together, our bowling games, even golfing together and you know, just spend time together, in each other's company, alone, with nobody getting in our way. With him, I can relax and breathe my own air, my own life and enjoy every second of his company. With him, I feel safe, problem-free and the happiest woman on earth, even though I never showed it before... Hehehe... I love him and I know that he knows that...
Oh wells, I've been occupying myself with my studies, so that I don't think of him so much. I finally "touched" my Geo-Environmental Engineering notes and it's CRAP. I mean, it's so damn TOUGH!!!! Understanding is so crucial in that module but I was so "blind" when I was doing the tutorials as I was merely copying answers. I don't know soooooo many terms!!! I know I'm going to die if I don't learn it soon...
Just finished my morning meal. It's already Imsak and today, depicts the 21st day of fasting which means that 9 more days to Hari Raya!! Whoo pee!!
Anyway, last night was pretty fun. I talked to my dearest via the computer. It's cheaper than talking on the phone. Maklumlah, we are both into advanced technology. Hehe...Normally, when chatting on the phone for 20 minutes, it's already considered as expensive to us, but last night, even for 2 whole hours, it seems nothing to us. However, I wore him out cause his mic wasn't working well. Hahaha....
Yesterday also, I had a very bad gastric attack. I haven't got that for months! No wonder I wasn't feeling very well for the whole week. The gastric attack really drained me out. Imagine, I was in public when I started to tremble, turned white and felt like throwing up. The pain in my stomach was UNBEARABLE. I had a earful from my mom. The fact that my unhealthy dieting is the main reason which caused me to suffer from this sickness. Now, after eating all the appropriate medicine, I never felt better although the pain is still there and I keep making trips to the toilet to flush out all the toxicity.
Damn...I'm really really sorry for what I've done to my own body....
Anyway, I've decided to pamper myself with a full manicure and pedicure session once I get my HariRaya-Deepavali pay. My nails suck and I'm too lazy to do anything to it so, I would rather pay someone to clean it for me. Hehehe....And also, I've decided to change my handphone and this time it's for real!!! As I've been disappointed by Starhub time and again, I've decided to change my service provider to save up on the billing costs. Therefore, it gave me the chance to buy a new handphone!! And this is what I have in mind:
I know tat it isn't one of the latest phone by Sony Ericsson but it doesn't make much difference with the latest ones, except for it's pricing. I'm proud to be an SE supporter anyway, because of it's quality and the standard.
I'm having a splitting headache now. Earlier on I was having migraine and I ate medicine. Now, the headache is back again. It's been quite sometime since I have a migraine. I wonder what's the cause of the tension in my brain.
Anyway, I miss him. And I don't know what to do. I know that he's like so faraway and the fact that I'm not meeting him for another long week, really makes me more miserable.
Friends and a boyfriend are two different things. The difference is that I cannot live without my boyfriend. I have so much to feel but all my feelings are mixed up right now. It's more like loneliness than anything.
Dammit...I know that I should be immune to his absence after 7 whole months. But still, the feeling just grow stronger...
*sighs* I guess I have to be patient for now and just waiiiitttt.......
Today depicts the 18th day of Ramadhan. 12 more days to Syawal!!! Wheeee......
Hehehe...I'm over-excited.
This year will be a more fun Hari Raya cause I'm planning for 2 group outings, one for my friends and the other for couples only. So, if any of my girlfriends is reading this, be it the Chinese or the Malays, I'm planning on 6 November 2006 for our outing as for most of us, our first paper starts on the 15th or the 16th. Sadly, my digicam brokedown on me last Saturday and had to be serviced. Hopefully, I'll get it back before Hari Raya.
The exams are drawing near. I'm getting pretty anxious and scared.
Insya'Allah, I'll pull through like I always do....
You know, I'm sooo missing him now. Do you know how many times I stare at the flowers he gave me every passing hour? It happens everytime he came into my mind and it keeps me happy....Hehe...
Our 2-year anniversary photo. (P.S. My digicam went ga-ga on this day)
Currently taking a break from studying. So, here I am...
Well, didn't meet my dearest on the actual day but we went out last night. We exchanged gifts before we set off. And yes, I got my first ever bouquet!!! Purple tulips, pink carnations and white roses! Hahaha....the smell of the flowers fills up my whole room now and I just can't stop sniffing. Well, my gift to him was a man's cologne. Love the smell of it on him....*sniff sniff*
Last night, both of us went to our secondary school friend's ROM at Aloha Loyang. It was a pretty simple and short ceremony. We had a simple dinner there too but at least it filled our stomachs. Congratulations to Chaili....Hope she'll have a blissful marriage and blessed with many children.
As for us, 2 years has passed and now, we're working towards the 3rd year of our relationship and many-many more years to come.
I wish last night never end. I just love to be with him.
Today's Mission Calender by Oprah.com ******************************** "The trouble with most women is they get old in their heads. They think about it too much." -- Josephine Baker ********************************
Have not been blogging recently cause I've been pretty busy with my work. I've been studying for next Monday's quiz as well as preparing for tomorrow's Solid Waste Engineering presentation. A new term just begun and it also mean that the exams are drawing near.
Nervous, very very nervous. But I must stay strong, no matter what may come.
Anyway, after school today, I rushed to IMM to look for Chaili's wedding gift. Finally bought something pretty useful for newlyweds. Hehehe... Yesterday, I was supposed to buy something for that someone, but in the end, I don't know what to buy and went home empty-handed.
Did you know that I asked from him for flowers...? I even stated which flowers I want. I'm thick-skinned. Very thick-skinned. The only day that he can think of giving them to me is during Valentine's. How I wish Man knows what Woman wants. It's more than a stalk of flower...
This week is the week of my anniversary. I talk like as if I'm already married. Hahaha...but the thing is that I really do hope for that. To be with that particular someone whom I love most in the whole wide world, for the rest of my life. Insya'allah, one fine day, hopefully, my prince charming king will take me faraway from here, where there's only me and him and then, we can live happily ever after. *dreamily*
But anyway, it's our anniversary of love. A love that I'll never take for granted.
I know that I can be a bitch at times. High maintenance too. But most importantly is that, I love him, very much....
Our 2-year anniversary photo.
As for us, 2 years has passed and now, we're working towards the 3rd year of our relationship and many-many more years to come.