It's been a week ever since Ramadhan begins. I've lost quite a bit of weight. I'm happy about it but that leaves me to what I'm going to wear to Chaili's ROM next Saturday. I don't want to wear my baju kurung there, man! If I'm not taking the public transport, then it would be okay.
This is to inform you that you have NOT been shortlisted for an interview by DHI Water & Environment (S) Pte Ltd. Your 2nd to 9th choices, if any, will be pushed up accordingly to become your 1st to 8th choices for computer allocation.
BY OFFICE OF PROFESSIONAL ATTACHMENTS
OUCH!! And stupidly, I thought I have a teeny-weeny bit of chance that I would be shortlisted. How stupid of me. I'm soooo like nothingcompared to others, and why would I ever think that I would ever get the chance?
Ok...life's TOUGH in there. I'll just take it with stride. At least, I have EIGHT more choices. Who knows I'll end up in CAAS, which is like all the way at Changi Airport?
Finally, I did something fruitful after days of lots of slacking. I finished my part for Solid Waste Engineering project.
I envied those who went out and have fun for the past few days and also for the rest of the week. I've been in hibernation mode ever since the recess week starts. Catching up with my beauty sleep and endless mapling sessions. I should be studying actually but I didn't really go INTO it. I studied here and there for a while and a few minutes later, I just got bored of it and chucked everything to one side.
You can say that I'm lazy, but well, I tried...hehe...
To end the entry, I finally had a talk with my dearest. It's been a while since we've met and guess what, a week more to our anniversary!! And talking about that, I want to go back to Megabitez, SIM, where we had our very first lunch date. Hehe...those were the times...I miss that place and the awesome food there...
Today's Mission Calendar Inspiration from Oprah.com ******************************** Don't fear age, because with time comes wisdom.
"The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world...." -- Susan B. Anthony ********************************
Well, I should be mugging right now. Instead, I've been bitten by the LAZY bug. *sighs* I need to mug. I need to mug. I need to mug...
Anyway, my mind is so messed up right now. I've been thinking about all the questions that I've been asked by others about my relationship. I have no answers to those questions. I don't think he will even bother to think about the answers.
Above all, I've been thinking about him, always....
Eats:Bubur Lemak, Karipap and Jagung Rebus for break fast Watches: Grey's Anatomy on Channel 5 Listens: Soothing music on my MP3 player, emo songs actually...hehe Feels:Achy and Sarcastic Module: Geo-Environmental Engineering About What?: About USCS, different types of clay and all that geotechnical terms. How?:It's still not that easy for me...struggling with this module.... Conscious: About my weight and my hair.... Needs:Serious attention Thinks:*sighs* My mind is so messed-up.... Why:Hmmm...good question. Probably because I started the day so stressed-up and I have nobody to talk to about it... What: Oh wells, I'm glad that Hady Mirza won Singapore Idol. Onward to the Singaporean Malays!! Missing: Japanese Food...I will never get sick of it, especially the fishy taste of salmon. Yummy! Craves:Lotsa lotsa junk food....especially potato chips, peanuts and choc bars!! Extracts from the Past: "Anyway, today, I found out from one of the girls I know since poly days, that girls have been fishing for guys in University. I was shocked! These girls have a list of admirers and all they have to do is CHOOSE!! I was like...."So, I am busy studying whereas other girls go fishing huh?" What is this world coming to? University guys that great meh? What's the main purpose of coming to Uni in the first place??? Hook up with smart, mature and studious guys? LOL....
To say that these girls are pretty, not up to my standard of what I call "pretty". To say they are beautiful, they lack of character. But I can see that, there's a lot of pairing up in my lecture theatre.... Ugly guys with pretty girls and vice versa....
Bad for the eyes.......tsk tsk...."
- Monday, September 19, 2005
Others:The sweetness of love and the pain of being apart...=((
Selamat Berpuasa to all Muslims!!! Alhamdulillah, I was very energetic the whole day despite of a terrible terrible headache since the time I woke up in the morning. A good start, I would say.
Anyway, everyone had their last meeting yesterday with their significant other. I had mine on Friday after school. Our meeting was pretty short but it's the company that is more important. Hehehe....he was very sweet though as he carried my oh-so-heavy bag all the way to my house. I didn't manage to say thanks to him...but anyway, THANK YOU, DEAR!!! =))
Honestly, it wasn't really our last meeting-lah. I'm meeting him again, 2 weeks from now, for our friend's ROM. I'm not sure about our anniversary though, but our meeting will be like only a day after our anniversary. Till then, we can only rely on either the phone or the Net only....
Lastly, I hate my hair. I shouldn't have trimmed it in the first place...but what can I do? I can only wait for it to grow longer. It seems that I won't be perming my hair already ler....
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face You told me how proud you were, but I walked away If only I knew what I know today Ooh, ooh
I would hold you in my arms I would take the pain away Thank you for all you've done Forgive all your mistakes There's nothing I wouldn't do To hear your voice again Sometimes I wanna call you But I know you won't be there
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss And it's so hard to say goodbye When it comes to this, oooh
Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do To have just one more chance To look into your eyes And see you looking back
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself, ohh
If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you Since you've been away Ooh, it's dangerous It's so out of line To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself by hurting you
After the massage last night, I couldn't jump out of bed this morning. My whole body was so damn aching, man!!! However, one good thing is that most of the flabbiness is gone! Yippie!!! Hehehe...see...I don't even have to workout or exercise...
Tomorrow is the last day before the term break. The term break is not really going to be a break for me cause it will be a period of time for me to catch up with my studies. I'm so far behind for some of my modules, especially those times when I skipped lectures and tutorials. The list is as follows:
Wheeeee!!!!! My quizzes are over!! Not officially though....but for now let's enjoy the feeling of being stress-free!!! Well, I'm going to be a good girl from tomorrow onwards and attend every lecture and tutorial. I've been skipping classes too much and I feel very guilty conscious.
Anyway, fasting month starts this Sunday. I already bought my kebaya a few months back. Love it very much. I'm going all dark blue this year. I think I'm going to buy matching shoes and a new handbag. Hehehehe.....I have too many outfits which I bought last year. So, this year, I guess buying 1 is just enough.
Well....been thinking about him and everything that has been happening around. Life's getting more exciting. At times, I wonder whether there'll be a future for me and him. The future seems so near, yet so far....
There's so many things that I haven't been doing lately. It's been quite sometime since I camwhored and just pose in front of the camera. It's been quite sometime since I even read a proper book. For now, I have the urge to maple. It's been sometime...
Two quizzes down, 1 more to go tomorrow. Yippee!! All quizzes went pretty well. I've got nothing to complain about. Alhamdulillah, it's more than what I expected. Do you know I was trembling for an hour before the Structure Design quiz this morning? I was trembling so much that my heart beats so fast and I couldn't even think properly.
Allah knows how many times I had to breathe in and out and beristighfar. It took me so long to calm myself down. Nowadays, I'm learning to be grateful with what I have. I can never ask for more. My faith has grown for Him and I feel great about it. He gave me air to breathe, a loving family, a shelter above my head, a life of luxury, many many friends, a chance to brighten up my future and even the love of my perfect guy. I don't lack of anything.
It seems that I've been taking many things for granted. I had to declare myself immature because I think that I never have enough. It's time for me to grow up. To know what life really is about. I can't live this way forever. One day, I'll have my own career, life and even a family. A way to live it all up is to be thankful with what I have....
Anyway, after school today, I went home with him. It was the first time I saw him in uniform. He looks HANDSOME. I mean it, dear. Infinity time more handsome than any other guys (I always tell my girlfriends that.). Hahaha....he still makes my heart race and I'm soooo loving him....;)
Talking about my relationship, I've been reading articles on dating and relationships for a week now. It seems that women make more mistakes in a r/s rather than men. For a man, his mistakes are normally his insensitivity or being unfaithful. But for a woman, being the more sensitive one, makes the most mistakes. I've never realized the mistakes that I'd made in my own r/s until I read all those articles. Letting my emotions get onto me, will destroy my r/s. Instead, I should own those emotions rather than let them control me. I'm learning to do just that...
2 more weeks to our 2 year anniversary!!!! I don't know how to celebrate anniversaries but looking forward to the day, is the best feeling for now. Hehehehe....
Like my template?? I love the colour combination and the simple design. He loves it too! Hehehehe....
The first quiz for this semester ended today. It went pretty well. Alhamdulillah. Two more quizzes to go next week before the term break.
Anyway, I've been having an "ON/OFF" skin rashes. I'm currently on my personal medication. I've yet to source the allergen which causes this rashes. It seems that if I stop my medication, the rashes start to pop up again, especially on my arms and hips. Suspected allergen might be the food I intake. I've gotta source it before it worsen.
Now, I'm in the middle of Water Supply Engineering revision.
On the other hand, I'm thinking about him too. I'm starting to miss him already. Hopefully, I'll be able to meet him next week or should I say, I'm "greedy" that I want to meet him everyday...=)
My biological clock says that I should be in bed now...but instead, I'm staying up to watch my favourite drama series...The OC III!!! Hehehe...
Anyway, today, I found out that one of my close friends back in secondary school, is registering for her marriage earlier next month. When I told the girls that one of my friends is getting married, a frown was registered on each of their faces. Well, I was frowning too. Here we are, in NTU, not thinking about marriage, still struggling to achieve our dreams and still have yet to reach maturity in life....frowning at good news. Well, it's just a natural reaction between us, girls, especially at this age, when we see our friends attaining their own happiness.
Hmmm...what can I say? Who doesn't want to get married and live happily ever after, right?
I'm trying to put some extra effort on my schoolwork. I've decided that I have to achieve something before I attend my convocation in 2years time. I'm scared of the challenges that I'm going to face down the road...but I promise...I'll always try my BEST.
I'm in the school library alone. Sitting here and surfing the Net just to pass time.
My life is not exciting...nothing much to share. My life rotates around the same things everyday. School, Friends, Family and Hatta. Haha...how boring can I be?
For school, the first half of the semester will end next week, and after that, things will get tougher as the exams draw nearer. For friends, my friends are a crazy bunch, consisting of a HUGE group of girls, including me, Denise, Aisyah, Jieli, Suria, Zhaowei, Stephanie, Nadia and recently, Huiling. We talk about almost everything and anything under the sun. For family, my parents are pretty busy people and my brothers, they are my entertainers. They practically made a spectacle of themselves in front of a huge group of people yesterday by dancing around like clowns...
As for Hatta, you knowlah, I talk about him like almost everyday here...met him last night and now he's back in camp, leaving me all alone here again. =(
I've gotta end here...going to carry out an URGENT business in the local toilet...
Today, a better day than yesterday. Right dear? My girlfriends were a fun bunch too, especially when I asked Suria and Aisyah to stop staring at me. It scares me off!!!
Oh yah, I finally had my hair cut. No, I got it trimmed actually. My fringe is short and I think it's neater now...sooo no hassle!!!
It's gonna be a draggy weekend. I'm really hoping that I'll get to squeeze some time to be with my dearest.....
To start off this entry, I've been studying. Hydraulics quiz next Friday. Water Supply Engineering quiz on the following Tuesday. Stress? Nolah...I'm cool. I skipped school today. Being the lazy me, I snoozed away till 11am. Woke up in a daze and after awhile, napped till 2pm. Did my studying till late evening. After that, ironed my piling laundry.
Quite a fruitful lazy day, I guess.
Anyway, can you believe it? I miss him so very much and at the same time, I'm pissed at him. It's always the same old problem and I HATE LDR. LDR causes this problem and this problem hasn't been solved yet.
Everyday, I woke up to loneliness. At times, he took away the loneliness, but most of the time, I just refused to wake up at all. I'm oversensitive, I know, but how do you think I feel when the person I love is so faraway from me and that he's just not there for me. Despite having so many friends, not having the most important person with me, is the worst feeling ever. Does he know that?
I've gotta get out of this emotional distraction before I go bonkers.......
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know How to say How I feel
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads
I need your grace To remind me To find my own
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world? --------------------------------------------------------------
I'm pretty mesmerized by the lyrics of this song. It describes how I feel. I woke up to loneliness everyday. I never could say out loud how I feel. I'm confused about what I have to say with what I have to show. I always drown myself in my own thoughts. I'm affected emotionally. Being an egoist, I am, I never admit it, cause he might see me as weak.
He's always on my mind every minute of the day. Those times when I yearn for him and wish that if only I could runaway from this loneliness...I would run away as far as I can....
Most of the time, we often set high expectations in life, that we don't realize the little things that we do or that others do for us, could create a huge impact in our life. We always want or hope for the best, never did we know that there's always a blessing behind every misfortune.
We always take for granted with what we have and that we are never thankful with what God has given to us. Never did we realize that, one day, He will take away what we have, one by one.
If given a choice, I would want to live a life full of happiness... No worries...just happiness...
I was updating our scrapbook when I realized how much I've changed throughout the time I'm with him. From the girl who doesn't wear any make-up, to the girl who dolls up every morning before she goes to school. I love myself....
And oh yah, I've been on carbohydrates diet ever since last Thursday. I didn't eat any rice or any form of carbs since then. I'm eating more of the soupy stuffs to aid my digestion as well as to lose weight....
I'm fasting for the next 3 days. Hopefully, I can survive...
I have so much to blog here but I'm too lazy to put them into words. So, well, here I am in the school library, blogging, a way to let time pass by.
I had a pretty interesting weekend I would say. Although I didn't go out on a proper date with my dearest, but we managed to meet up on Saturday night. On Saturday, my parents held a kenduri puasa at our house and invited all their siblings over. Funnily, I volunteered to cook the beef curry cause I refused to fry the roti renjis/kirai/jala. I did lotsa things like making the salad sauce, cutting the veggies, cut the kuih-muih and even packed the lauk for the visitors.
Somehow, while packing, something popped into my mind and I've decided to pack for my dearest too, cause he's just living nearby and what's the harm of giving him the leftovers. I packed specially for him and his family, and asked him to come over. Around 9.30pm, I met him downstairs to give him the food. I even brought Juni with me, cause she's been dying to see him in person. LOL....nolah...just kidding. A few minutes later, Juni left us. I thought nobody would caught us together, but damn, Mamang Wan, Bibik Nana and my cousins saw us. Not forgetting, Obek Mah and my kakak sedara(s). I freaked out and I think he freaked out too, especially when Mamany Wan shouted at us. -_='
Sampai sekarang masih terbayang-bayang. Luckily, I went up before my paternal side come down. They are more than curious about what I'm doing downstairs and who I was with.
Hehehe...at least, we weren't doing anything wrong rite???
Anyway...I'm missing him.
Don't ask me about my studies. I've not touched it for 3 whole days until last night, when I finally went through Wastewater Engineering. Hopefully, tonight, I have the mood to study. Quizzes officially start next week.....
I just registered for my industrial attachment for next semester. Kinda exciting cause I don't know what to expect and the organizations gave interesting descriptions. Won't say what I chose here specifically, cause I want to avoid competition but well, like always, I still aim to get a place in the laboratory or maybe do some site investigations.
I always seek for new experiences. I hope this time round, I'm able to learn more things than during my poly industrial attachment. Can't wait!!
Anyway, I'm missing him. I think I messaged him excessively today despite him being at work. Hahaha.... But what can I do? Cann't resist the heart from telling the brain what is the best thing to do. Haha...lame...I know... I wonder whether we will be able to meet this weekend.....hmmm...
