faith will keep me strong
Tonight, while attending my religious class. I got some enlightenment. I realize that to overcome obstacles and the difficulties we faced in life, we must have faith in ourselves and in
Yang Maha Esa. In this way, no matter how hard life can be, we'll still be peaceful at heart and soul. Ustazah told us that we have to have a strong
'Aqidah and
Iman (faith) in order to be strong. Like they say, "
Kami hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan." which means we can only plan but
Allah decides our
takdir(fate).
So, coming straight to the point, I still lack the faith I have, especially in myself. I brokedown when coming face to face with failure. I might appear strong on the outside, but the person inside me is as fragile as glass. My ego is as hard as a rock but my mom said that I'm "
ego tapi gembeng" which means I'm egoistic but I'm a crybaby. My mom has always been the one to tell me, "
Stop crying! You can always try again. Shame on you for crying!"The thing is that I failed too many times that I can't take failure anymore. I've become someone whose such a perfectionist that it's destroying the person inside me. Now, I'm going to learn to have faith in myself, especially, and also in the power of
Allah. I believe that nothing is impossible with
Allah.
Alhamdulillah. I've fulfilled many of my dreams. I got most of what I've been praying for and what I've worked hard for. I'm still going through everyday's obstacles and I'm happy with what Allah has given me.
Now, I'm working towards a goal. I'm giving myself a new life and new oppurtunities. I'm gonna test myself in everything. I'm going to mature up and control my mood swings. I'm going to give myself another chance to brush up on my studies by lightening my load. It's time to take charge of my life. It's time to do what's right in everything.
Time to turn a new leaf. Every step that I'm going to take right now is by careful consideration. Ahh yes.....you can see so many changes which I made in my life. It's more towards the physical thingys. Oh well, I'm desperate for a change.
A change to a better me.
I'm gonna learn never to listen to anyone who brings you down or pushes you away. Now, I'll let people who talk rot or bad-mouthed me to say whatever they want. This is one way for me to change.
Masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri.
I've had enough. Well, I am who I am and I know what's best for me.
I'm not perfect, you know. I'm still human.
QueenLiyn@23:47
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