Year 2006 Resolutions
At this time of the year, I will set my New Year's resolutions. This year, there'll not be any exception. So here goes...
1. First and foremost, it's always the grades. I promised my mom that I'll study harder for the coming semesters and acquire much much better results than last semester. Maybe, as a start, at least an A, and try not to scar my results slip with any more D's.
2. Secondly, I've gotta start to learn to be independent, more mature and everything that it takes to be an adult. Fooling around is just not exceptional anymore.
3. Lose more weight and control my diet.
4. All I hope for my relationship with Hatta is that it'll last. It is progressing slowly throughout this year but much better than the past year although it's getting harder for me.
5. Make changes to my relationship. You see...I want to be the girl.... I want to be the ignorant one. I don't want to point out mistakes anymore. Like I've said I'm sick of it!
6. Cut down on my spending. It's time that I save for my future. Need to learn to be more thrifty and less materialistic.
7. I know I can be very bitchy. So, I have to change the person inside of me. I need to learn how to respect others, be more modest and keep my opinions to myself.
8. To stop being a lazy-bum. This has been one of my resolutions for years but I guess a leopard doesn't change it's spots.
9. Be able to control my feelings and emotions. Those extreme feelings are killing my soul which in turn made me a not-so-good person. Learn how to express them rather than bottling them up or probably find someone to talk about it.
10. Be more sociable. It doesn't kill to smile or talk to someone whose like not my friend but always sit beside me. Expand my social network so as my University life will be the sweetest.
Hopefully, Year 2006 will be another year full of surprises, blessings and lots of happiness for me and also for everyone else. Never give up when obstacles come your way throughout this year and that have faith in God and yourself no matter how tough life can turn out to be.....
Happy New Year everyone!!!
QueenLiyn@01:04
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unwell
Not feeling well.
QueenLiyn@20:09
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the value of a woman
Be careful if u make a woman cry, because God
counts her tears.
A woman came out of man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on,
not from his head to be superior over,
but from his side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected,
and next to the heart to be loved
QueenLiyn@11:43
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cleaning time!!
I wasn't feeling well today. It's just the time of the month again....
But anyways, I don't know why today, I had the mood to clean up my whole room. Dumped lots of stuffs. Cleared my drawers. Cleared my table. Dust my dressing table....and even cleaned my fan...hehehehe....
I also did my laundry. If not, I won't have anything to wear for school next week... I have the habit of dumping my tops, especially, after wearing them, into the laundry basket and building them into a huge heap of trash....
See...how lazy this Liyana can be....
I guess it's in my nature....unless I'm forced to change.
*
sighs* It's been 3 weeks since I've met him... How much bearable can it be?
QueenLiyn@00:06
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a reason why...
Gonna hit the gym tomorrow. I feel like, I look and weigh a dozen tonnes! Can't go to school looking like this. My stomach is like soo bloated now. My arms are flabby cause I've lacked of toning since school started. Tried to do push-ups today. Gosh...30 of them only......
I've got such a lazy arse.
Anyway, starting school pretty late next week. I only have to come on Thursday and Friday cause during the first week of school, there'll not be any lab or tutorial sessions. So, I'm still left with a week to do last minute working out in the gym.
I'm thinking about him now. To me, he's very admirable. He's so compassionate with kids and probably, he's good with them. I guess kids love him...no matter how noisy they can be. I admire him for that because I can never be as patient as he is. Well, it's best to pick out his flows rather than his flaws. No wonder I love him...he's sooo...
admirable....
QueenLiyn@23:16
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back
I'm back. My trip was okay. Relaxing. Got a good night's sleep when I was there. But I put on 2 kilos since I came back.
Anyway, I came back and got myself into a series of headaches. Registering for next semester's subjects and planning my timetable was sooo headachy. Later, I've gotta try to change some of the index numbers of my modules so that I'm able to be in the same group as Aisyah and Denise.
*
sighs*
Maple story for now....
QueenLiyn@11:48
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gone
Woke up at 9am today to find a message from him on my handphone. His message made me jolt out of bed. His goodbye message seemed sooo...
Real and to make things worst, I was snoozing when he messaged.. It's like as if we are going to be separated for a very long time. Damn...I can't wait for Monday to come, cause by then, things will go back to normal.
I already know that I miss him. Now I know how much I actually miss him......
Anyway, my bags are packed. Tomorrow, I'm setting off. Gone till Monday. Have fun during your X'mas holiday people!!
QueenLiyn@22:52
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dead broke...
Hmm...I'm already sleepy now. I actually switched on my alarm clock to 9am this morning and I dragged myself out of bed. Going to train myself to wake up earlier cause school's starting soon. It doesn't matter what time I sleep, it's more about what time I can wake up.
Planning on my financial status now. Damn. I'm broke. Flat broke. Dead broke. Whatever you call it. Yah, I've been on a lot of shopping sprees lately, not forgetting also for my baby. That actually leads me to using my father's money to buy what I want when I'm almost broke. Now, after calculations and everything, damn...when I come back from my holiday later, I'm left with a mere 10 bucks.
WTH....Not forgetting my baby's boarding plus his food and all. This month, I went overbudget and his like so damn
PAMPERED already. Now I know how it feels like to have an overweight son....grrrr.....
So, I guess my financial status will only be healed, once school reopens....
Started packing my bags for Saturday already. AT most I'll bring 3 bags. Wahahahaha!!!! Ok...my toiletries are hogging my bag. What can I say...I'm sooo...whatever....
Oklah...ciao for now...
QueenLiyn@00:22
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lazy arse
Today, I was dead bored. Bored to death.
Stayed in bed mostly after doing the household chores and watched tv with my mom. Didn't sleep, just laze around with the cats. Tried to play Maplestory but I was already bored with it. The Sims...worst.
Maybe he's right. I should go to the gym. Next week perhaps. Tone up before school reopens.
I want school to reopen soon. At least, I get to eat what I want, hang out with my friends and even meet up with my boyfriend freely.
2 more days, I'll be off to Gunung Ledang, Melaka. I'm looking forward to it. Not only that there's a chance of me meeting my cousins there but also, at least I'm conscious that my dearest is in the same country as me, which means that he's not that faraway....
Oh Gosh.....i miss him lotzz.....
QueenLiyn@20:25
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peace at heart, mind and soul....
Hie!~
I'm soo happy. I got my results today and well, I passed!!!
Alhamdulillah....a heavy weight off my shoulder. Although there are no A's, I feel thankful that at least, my hard work and all my tears are paid off. I got a D+ for MOM and it's not a scar on my results slip but it's a blessing for me. If I don't get a D, I'll be in
deep shit. I mostly got Cs for my core modules. Ain't disappointed at all cause I know I failed most of the quizzes for most of my core modules and I studied hard for the exams.
I'm glad that I can move on.
Promised my mom that I'll get better grades next semester. I need to work extra hard and I'm going to learn from my mistakes. Time management is the key factor to success now. I just hope I won't slack as much as this semester. This will be my New Year resolution for Year 2006.
Planned my timetable. I won't be taking any Sociology next semester cause I want to concentrate on my core modules plus Principles of Economics. Will only continue doing my minor in Year 3.
Now...I can sleep in peace....
Geez...I miss him now.....
QueenLiyn@22:52
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waiting
Geez...I just got to know my minor in Sociology results......
Wasn't expecting a B-......
whee....I qualify in doing a minor now.....
Now....I'm waiting for the results of my core modules......
QueenLiyn@13:34
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can't wait
Today, didn't do much. Just played The Sims and watched tv. Juni and family dropped by just now, and we had a chat.
Tomorrow, I'm going to the library. I tried to read romance but it just doesn't lighten my head that much. Romance just won't do for me anymore. Going to the self-help section tomorrow. Maybe it's better to read more realistic stuffs. At least, it will satisfy my curiosity.....
sighs....I'm so bored. I just can't wait for school to reopen in 2 weeks time....
QueenLiyn@00:34
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pampered
Alhamdulillah, today, I got to eat what I've wanted for weeks. I was savouring Teriyaki Salmon Bento at Toa Payoh for dinner. One big piece of salmon for just a mere 6 bucks. Yum yum...and the funny thing was that I was eating rice with chopsticks.....
Anyway, I started the day feeling very lousy. I had a lousy night. But shopping perked me up just now. I bought 2 pairs of shoes, 2 black pants and 1 pink pants. I like the pink pants most cause, a year ago, I couldn't fit into those types of pants!!
I had a wonderful time with my parents today, cause they know I was in a lousy mood. My baby too, is in a lousy mood. He's been grumbling and grumbling the whole day. Don't know why but he's running a fever now......
You know, I have a feeling that my mom has a surprise for me. I
love surprises. My guess is that, it's something glittering.....probably as my birthday gift. Wheeee...... For my 19th bithday, she already bought for me something expensive. For my 20th, it was something that I've been crazy about. This year, I am crazy about something much more expensive. Glitter glitter, you know.....
LOL....
Geez....I'm not as materialistic as I seem to be. It's just that I just love to be pampered. Oh yah, Abg Zul and fireman are right about me. I'm pampered. Damn pampered....but one thing I lack is the pampering from my dearest. Not materialistically...but
romantically....
LOL....
QueenLiyn@23:32
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ignorance is my virtue....
Most of the times, I just don't understand why....
But I would rather be ignorant about it, and left it untouched, unconsoled and unsolved.
It's just not worthy at all......
QueenLiyn@00:49
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me & you
It's been some time since I've posted a poem. But anyway, here's a meaningful one.....
When I first talked to you
I felt like I had known you forever,
telling you my problems
and what I didn't want ever.
You listened to me
I bet you thought I'd never end,
who would have thought
we would be close friends.
Over a period of time,
I got to know the real you.
A guy so charming and gentle,
with a heart so true.
You've survived your life
with me by your side.
I told you I'd never leave
because of the feelings I have inside.
There was a time
I wanted to explore,
what would have happened
if I would only open the door.
I know you
like no one I have ever known,
and sometimes I wonder
what do I do when we're alone?
So I have decided
time answers all.
If it is meant to be
time will remove the wall.
Standing between us,
holding us back,
allowing us to feel
It's the relationship that we lack.
I love the way we are together,
you can always make me smile.
Will it ever really be forever?
I guess I will have to wait awhile.
Time will reveal, what lies ahead
but always remember
what I have said.
Meeting you has changed my life
and I really love you so,
the feelings I feel for you
I am never letting go.
Remember me always
and I will too.
I will always think of
me and you.
QueenLiyn@00:11
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Bdae Bash
YES! Next year, in 2 months time, I'm going to have my 21st birthday party!!! Woo hoo!!!!
Gotta start planning my invitation list. Probably I'll be inviting most of my Uni friends, the guys I know back in poly, some of my close friends from secondary school and not forgetting my boyfriend!!!
Hmmm...wonder whether he'll come. But he
must come. He's the priority among the rest........ If not....
QueenLiyn@12:24
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still praying...
Today, playing Maple was fun. I started by defaming someone who actually bullied my noob. My cleric is like the mother to my mage noob(beginner). Earn money for her, finish her quests, buy pots/potions for her and even provide her with the right equipments!!! But my noob do fight, only at level 14 now whereas my cleric is already looking soo fine and elegant at level 33.
Later, Aisyah came online with her male character and I paid for the wand that she sold to me. We met at a place called Perion and she wanted to stock up on pots. I was waiting for her outside the shop when there's this
boyboy wizard came hitting at me. I mean hitting as in flirting. He thought that he could date me for real and that I'm as young as he is. I told him that I am too old for him, not mentioning that I'm actually attached in reality. Played his game but when Aisyah came, I told him that Aisyah's male character is my boyfriend, for real. Hahaha....Aisyah played along with me. Both of our characters looked handsome together!!! I mean compatible. These kids at Maple are so easy to be tricked. tsk...tsk
Anyway, now I'm feeling for Japanese food. Probably udon. Tempura udon, probably. Yummy Yummy...!!! Or maybe Salmon Bento...yum yum.... Usually in school, I'll have Jap food for at least once a week, now, I really do miss it!!!!! Maybe I should stop by at JP for expensive Jap food on Friday.......but I feel for the Toa Payoh's Salmon Bento, cheaper and nicer....hmmmm.....
Last night, I dreamt about my exam results again. Been dreaming excessively about it. I dreamt that I failed 4 modules!!!!! Why must I fail? Oh God...have mercy on me.... Ok...so my dreams ain't only about exam results lah. Definitely there's him. But I've forgotten what's the dream about which is a good sign. Hahaha.....
2 more weeks before school reopens. Next week, I'll be getting my results. I'm not ready for school but I actually miss studying. It's like as if I want to go to school but I don't want to sit for exams and I thought I love exams!!!!
*
sighs* I'm so scared.....
QueenLiyn@23:07
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what matters to me....
Changed the layout again. I like the colour combination of black and brown but just ignore the phrases, they don't mean anything at least not for now.
But anyway, the whole day I've been thinking about him. Well, we didn't talk much since last Friday, just a few messages. What can I say...he's a busy man.
Hmmm...I was trying to imagine. What if, my deepest and darkest secret was never told. I mean, he would be kept in the dark, I would still be single and nothing changed our lives. I would still have the thinking that he will never accept me and that I will still be FAT.
Kept imagining that. But I'm so glad that I did confess. At least, I won't have to worry about living without him and not being with him. If you were to think that my love for him has wear off after a year, you are wrong. It hasn't, probably will never be, cause I am happier whenever I'm with him.
I've been thinking also. Since school has started for me, more temptations have rose for me. My friends too saw it coming. Definitely I wasn't the one making any moves and I definitely did not believe that any other guy will like me. Crushes come and go very easily. Resisting was the only solution. The temptations were a test of my faithfulness and I have to win his trust.
I never really did tell him what happened cause well, it doesn't really matter to me. What matters is that nothing comes in between us and that he feels the same way as I do.
"-"
QueenLiyn@20:33
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geez....
I'm fat.
Not just feeling fat.
But I really do look fat..........
QueenLiyn@00:57
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speaking out loud
I went out with him tonight. Watched Chicken Little and it seems very
geena. It was funny though. But like always, without any doubt, I had fun with him. Took our first neoprint together as a couple. It turned out okay for me lah...although I can see my teeth....and finally, I can put something of us inside my wallet...heheh
It seems that I can't find anything wiser to say here. Normally, I'll be quoting stuffs here, speak my mind and not only blogging what I did for the day. Probably it's because I'm tired of getting worried or paranoid at little little stuffs. Now, I would rather express those worries on the spot rather than keeping it to myself because they are killing me. Instead, others are fussing over me, especially my parents...
Grrr...to say that they are overprotective of me, but they aren't. But to say they are not, they actually are. It's like as if I'm that stupid and gullible that I can't control my own life.
Puhleezz...although I'm the only daughter of the family....I'm old enough to take care of myself...
There...I spoke my mind....:D
QueenLiyn@22:53
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another day...
Can't get to sleep. So I've decided to blog.
The dreams that I had about my exam results have become very regular now. As the days pass by, I become more and more terrified of it. I can't do anything about it. Not for now. I'm praying so hard...so that my hard work is being paid off............
Sighs...other than my results...my mom's "
what if's" are in my head...playing over and over again. Another
reason for me not sleeping.
What if this...what if that...what if this...what if that... You know, I ended that "
what ifs" by telling my mom that, at times we need to learn to trust someone else and not only ourselves.
Oh yah...yesterday, went shopping for the second time in a week. First time, on Monday. Went lingerie shopping with mommy and she paid for it. Yay! Couldn't go lingerie shopping myself cause I'm indecisive and I'm like....broke.... Had fun with her. Took me a whole hour to decide and my brother was frustrated of my indecisiveness.
That's why...guys are not made to go shopping...
Later, hopefully, I'll be meeting him for a movie and dinner. I've got some things to pass to him. Hopefully also, he doesn't have to OT tomorrow cause it's his birthday!!
And I need to enjoy before I start crying.............................................
QueenLiyn@01:37
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Hatred towards failure
Today, I did lots of things. Not much time wasted lazing around. I've been playing maple with my cousins and I've got that extra power to heal them when they are almost dying. I also finished doing the thing that I wanna do. Incredible....managed to finish it within a day. Haha...and lastly, of course there's the tv watching...
I don't call all that lazing....hehehe
Anyway, around this time of the year, I will start to set new resolutions for myself. Late last year, I'd set for myself 10 resolutions and guess what, I've fulfilled 6.5 of them.
1. I did well for my poly studies and acquired the grades that I want.
2. Those grades provided me the
pass into NTU to acquire higher education which is actually one of my biggest dream.
3. I wasn't able to kick my bad habits of sleeping late, skipping meals and shopping. Rather, I was less self-obsessive of myself.
4. I managed to stand up on my own and try to be independent although in the second half of the year, I brokedown and needed some mental and emotional help.
5. My relationship with Hatta is getting better everyday as we worked on it and its been more than a year since we've been together.
6. I realized that I don't have that big ego in me anymore. I become more humble compared to last time, after realizing that other people are way much better than me.
7. I lost much more weight than expected. Lost more than 15lbs. I weigh 135lbs now compared to then, when I weigh 152lbs.
8. Attitude wise...hehehe...that can never be fulfilled. It's hard to change a human-being.
9. As I grow slimmer, I became bolder in my dressing. According to my religion, my dressing fails. Skirts and lycra tops are what I wear now.....In terms of religious knowledge, I've started to learn and understand more about it....
10. Well...Liyana can never kick the habit of procrastinating and lazing....heheheheh....
It's funny the way I set my resolutions. You see, it's not impossible to achieve more than one goal in a year especially the ones that determine the undetermined future. I'm turning 21 in a couple of months which means I need to set more adult resolutions. A lot of things will change next year cause I'm already doubting my capability of doing well in University and that I'll be spending lesser time with my dearest cause he's serving the nation.
Like my mom said....there'll be no success if failure never occur. And I
hate to fail...............
QueenLiyn@23:28
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lazy to blog...
Sighs....I've been rather lazy to blog here nowadays. Nothing to blog anyway...
Today, I found out that I'm 1kg lighter when I ate sooo damn much yesterday. No worries about getting fat for now...hehe...
Tomorrow, I'm going out to take a breather. Buy some stuffs for Zufi and for something that I want to make. Then, probably visit the library, to borrow some books...
You know, I used to love reading. They called me a bookworm. When I was younger, I love to read bookworm club stories, Russell Lee's books, SVU, SVH and even the encyclopedia. I would read everyday, even in the dark, in bed, which actually explains why I'm wearing specs right now. Later, when I grew older, I began to love Danielle Steel's books and then, found out about Sandra Brown's
errotic books. That's when I start to love romance books, movies and every romance story. Oh wells, guys look at porn, girls read those kind of books. I used to be so obsessed with those books but now, I don't even have time to read.
Going to pick up the habit of reading again....
Anyway, just now, I was going through photos taken throughout my secondary school years. Those were the real me or how I'm supposed to look like. I could remember every single photo taken during that time. If Hatta was
crappy that time, I was
geeky. Although my days in Kranji were very fun and I miss those days now, but I will never want to go back to those times again...........
QueenLiyn@00:45
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sleepless night...
Argghhh!!! I couldn't sleep last night......
QueenLiyn@11:56
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urh...
Today is undescripable. I haven't had so much fun ever since we went for bowling at East Coast, although I ended up with sores and aches on my body today.
So, I went golfing with my dearest Hatta today. I know, to some of you, golf is boring. Well, he made golf so fun to play today. I did play golf with him like 8 months ago, but that was different. Golf ain't new to me anymore... Maybe...it's because I'm with him, I felt happier.
Haha...definitely!! Altogether, both of us hit 431 balls for the day.
But I really do have fun with him today. I feel grateful to him for taking his time off from work and bring me out....
Next week's, he's turning 20. I thought I wanted to watch Chicken Little with him but because I think he might be too tired to watch it with me after work.... I'll decide later....
In the meantime, I'm uploading photos taken since Hari Raya including our photos that we took today into new albums...soo check them out!!
QueenLiyn@00:05
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