pooped
I am soo pissed. I came back home to find a series of porn sites in my laptop. To make things worst...those sites infected my dearest laptop with viruses... I'm sooo f**king pissed off.....
Not talking anyone now. Furthermore, it's the time of the month again. I'm better off left alone...
Just now, I went Hari Raya outing with the girls, Aisyah, Suria, Titek Liyana and Jieli. It was fun. Four out of the five of us have boyfriends, either doing their NS or working. Getting to know the behavior of their boyfriends are rather interesting. Somehow, I envy them cause I don't know whether my guy will be equally sweet when the time comes for him to be in camp. I just hope that I don't have to tell him what to do when the time comes....
Anyway, I thought of posting the photos here...but too lazy to upload it into my albums. Grr...okok...here they are...
At Suria's House: Me, Aisyah, Titek Liyana and Jieli
At my house: Suria, Titek Liyana, Aisyah and Me...Now I'm only looking forward to meeting him....:D
QueenLiyn@00:49
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love is.......
*
sniff sniff* I cried while watching a sappy love story. It's so damn touching. So emotional. So sweeet. Every Sunday night, I'll cry cause of watching those type of movies....
Well...those movies ain't real, just like fairytales whereby the prince and the princess will live happily ever after. How I wish they are real. At least, in my own love story. Just plain sweet.
It's funny how
love can actually bring about feelings that never/rarely existed inside
thy self.
Well, love is not just a word, it's a very
complicated word, which brings about very
complicated feelings...
QueenLiyn@01:38
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i need a job...
A number of things have been planned out next week for me.
I actually organized a Hari Raya outing for my Uni peeps. The 5 of us are going out next Monday. We are a lil bit late cause we have to finish all our exam papers and make sure that everybody is free. Can't wait to have some fun after a month of sleepless nights.
And there's golfing with him. He has yet to confirm with me but like always, I can't wait....
Then the weekends, I'll meet up with my cousins again. Kak Nor's getting married. And I'm not that ecstatic. I'm just thinking of earning money now.
I really do need a job...
QueenLiyn@21:33
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Sian
Grrr....waiting for Maple to be up again. Stupid system. My
Pheladium is stucked in Sleepywood's Hotel and now I've got to create a noob,
queenLiyn. Now the system is undergoing maintenance till 5pm...
I'm soooo bored...
I need something to play with...very
sian......
QueenLiyn@14:24
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happy again...
Weee....finally it's all over. Endured the pain for more than a month and now, I've gotten through without any hiccups. Ok...there were. I broke down after MOM and I lose some weight while studying for it. I lack of sleep and now I look very haggard.
But I'm fat now. Been feasting on Old Chang Kee for the past few days.
Need to hit the gym on Friday.
My hair's longer and I hate the transitional period of growing it. It looks very ugly now. Tempted to trim it or something. But what can I do....me and Denise have decided to keep long hair till the end of Uni studies.
That's quite a long time. Wonder whether I'll survive....
I'm broke. Totally broke. Need a job or something. Mama stopped giving me pocket $$ since
I-don't-know-when, and now, I'm like self-relying for $$. Now, where am I supposed to dig up for more money???? My Hari Raya money has all gone to the bank....and my debit card is only used for essential purposes. Anyone has any job
lubang for 5 weeks?????
Geez....been playing Maple since I got home. Going to be stucked with that for the next few weeks....
Hehe....
Oklah...ciaoz!
QueenLiyn@17:14
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.....
Mentally-drained...
One more to go...and victory is mine.....
QueenLiyn@23:58
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While I was studying for Sociology, I came across this quote...
Love is an uncontrallable emotion that strikes suddenly and irrevocably at first sight; the lovers are fated for one another, a destiny neither can escape; love leads to bliss, abject, misery or both; love inspires and enobles.-Skolnick, 1978
QueenLiyn@01:01
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morning call
Can't sleep. My eyes are heavy but I just can't bring my butt to the bed and sleep.
Sociology's boring to study but
Thank God...I managed to finish reading through every articles and text that I'm assigned to. Tomorrow, I'm starting on Chemistry. Can't wait..
Anyway, on Sunday, there'll be a Hari Raya gathering at my house. I actually resent it at first cause
I HAVE TO STUDY but...I am just curious to whom will pop up on that day. Well, I'll only be cooped up in my room in between of my notes for the whole day....no fret...won't have to face anyone...
Next week, after my last paper, I'll be going to BBDC with Denise. I'm going to renew my membership and book a date for my final theory whereas she's going to register as a new member. I'm competing with my brother. He failed his final theory
5 TIMES!! If I were to pass when I take this once...I'm going to get my driving license first. I want to see who rules and whose smarter...hehe....ignore d obvious...hehehe
I'm so bad.....
*
sighs* I've been thinking of him for the whole day. I wonder when I'm going to be with him again and when I'm going to feel happy again. I'm happy when I'm with him....but well...it's been more than a month since we actually went out on an actual date. I just wish he will take me out...or maybe...me taking him out...LOL....
I have my mood swings...so ignore me..
If you know what I mean...
QueenLiyn@02:16
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my bomb juz went off...
Going to start mugging again tonight. Mugging at most, till 3am.
"
Studying" for Sociology. I'm not really committed to it. More interested in Chemistry actually but have yet to touch it yet cause I'm scared if I were to start on Chem...I won't be able to study for Sociology.
My mom said that it's all common sense...it won't be of a problem for me...she said...
Hah...we'll see...I got a C for the quiz...
Been playing maplestory but I kept dying and in turn, I lost my experience points and I'm unable to level up that easily. Got bored of it...and guess what...I'm installing The Sims into my computer now...
Going off for a short holiday during Christmas which means that I'm going to leave the kids in boarding school. I have to make sure that Zufi don't fall sick and Comot ain't my responsibility. She's just a parasite to Zufi.
You know, I'm missing him already. For the past few days when I felt that way, my heart was urging me to go n message him or something. I did. But I feel very
sian. At times, I feel that I'm so
penyibuk or irritating when I message him often. Sometimes when I said that "
I boringlah" that doesn't mean that I'm feeling bored. I'm actually unhappy. How do you think I feel when for days he never message me? If I were to be like other girlfriends...I'll be mad. Very very mad. But I let him go...time and again...Time and again, I accept his excuses. I let him repeat his mistakes again and again and again and again...
That's how he made me feel doubtful of him. That's how he made me feel so unimportant. Or is it just that he doesn't love, care or whatsoever for me anymore?
I'm tired of confronting him again and again. Like always, I'll just keep those feelings inside of me....I love him very much but I just don't know what else that I'm supposed to do.... Hope he knows....
QueenLiyn@23:45
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mixture
I'm almost done with the exams. I sat for my 5th paper this afternoon and it was okay. Fluid Mechanics isn't as bad as Mechanics of Materials. I got my blessing for yesterday's paper. A few weeks ago, I brokedown because of Foundation Physics as I failed the quiz. It was satisfying when I sat for the paper yesterday.
Next week, I'll be sitting for Environmental Chemistry and Sociology. I just can't wait for the exams to be over....
I've planned the activities that I want to do after the exams...like...
-Lingerie shopping with the girls..hehehe-Movie marathon-Jalan Hari Raya-Study for final theory and sit for the test before next semester starts-Golfing with him..-Go out with him....-Play Maple Story till I level up to 30............Hehehe....so many things to do in so little time...
But despite of my exams and my excitement of it ending soon...I'm like a ticking bomb going to explode soon. The negative feelings that I've kept inside of me for weeks now, isn't fading away. I kept telling myself that everything's going to be okay, nothing's wrong. There's no need to fuss over them and whatsoever. But the more I tell myself that, the more harder it becomes to control myself....
At times, when you feel unspecial and unimportant at all....this is what happens.....
And nothing matters until you get what you need....
QueenLiyn@23:33
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Memory Lane
So, I feel like blogging again. In the background now, I can hear Zufi and Comot fighting on my bed. Damn...Zufi is really protecting his territory....which is my room....hehehe....
Anyway, I just came back from Hari Raya. Went to Wak Rahmat's house, chatted with Juni and she talked too openly until my parents can hear. Later, all of us went to Wak Milah's house. Me, Juni and Lina sat together and played with Abg Nizar's children. We are already aunties, by the way. Lina refused to accept the fact that she's
that old. Well, I'm much older, how do you think I feel? After that, we went our separate ways and my family went to Wak Bedah's house which is at my old place, Bukit Batok West Blk 112.
Going there brought back memories. I grew up there. Lived there for 13 years. I remembered sharing a cramped room with my brother and my things took up 3-quarter of the room. I remembered locking up myself in the room, dress up like one of the Spice Girls, Victoria Addams, and pretended that I look as pretty and sexy as her. I always wear that black mini dress and tried to comb my hair like hers. I was a nobody back then. I tend to be under the influence of others rather than being myself. I tried to be a vain pot, like posh spice, but they were all in vain.
Now, I still just wish that I look like Victoria Beckham. She has a rather awesome bode now...
QueenLiyn@01:01
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when d going gets tough...d tough is losing out...
Doing Physics now...
ARGHHH...electric circuits and solenoids ain't my thing!!! At least there's some fluid mechanics inside....
After 3 papers...whereby....MOM was bad...pretty depressing...
Prob and Stats were okay...hopefully I don't fail....I almost fell asleep during the paper cause lacking of sleep....
Maths...hmmm...it's ok that I don't get that A+ grade for it...at least a 50%....
-
-
-
I've decided not to be that ambitious. Let's see how many D's I have for this semester.
*
sighs*
QueenLiyn@16:05
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a time like this....
So, finally, after a quite some time, I'm posting an entry here.
Taking a break from all the studying. Last night, my mom actually banned me from touching any of my books if not, I'll get a bad scolding. I rested and watched tv the whole night and even got my so-called medicine after school, like Denise call it,
Hatta-biotics....
Well, it's been quite some time since I've met him. I miss him very much....and he's like a medicine that I need during a time like this... I feel better now...
*
sighs*
Been mugging almost every night. Lost my appetite which caused me to drop more kilos......
School's out....let's talk about something else...
I saw his photo. I mean that
him. He's a lil bit bigger, doesn't look like a lamp post anymore and a lil bit shorter than his brother. He told me that he'll be bigger and well, now he is. You know, no offence, but I do
kinda miss him.
Forget the past. Forget the past....it's of no use dwelling over him anymore...It's been almost 2 years.... First love? More like my first
shit...
(omg...y d hell am i writing this!!!)
QueenLiyn@22:36
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