Lonely w/o Him...
So, I made a rather amazing discovery today. Just yesterday, me, Aisyah and Jieli bullied
Fireman at NIE cause he wanted to jump queue. Today, I found out that he's actually Sabby's brat, firefighter and a 1/4 decade boyfriend!!
LOL...what a small world....
Haiz....been hard on me these days. Tomorrow, I've got an Engineering Measurement Online Quiz. It's an open book quiz. But people can fail, so high chance I'll fail if I don't concentrate on it... I've got to write an essay for Sociology but the dateline is still a month away. Catching up with my tutorials. Stayed up late last night to study 2 tutorials for MOM.....
My life's a bore and I'm eating more and more!!!!!
I miss my dearest.
Oh dear, oh dear, where art thou? Miss spending time with youuu... It's been like ages since I see you, since we've been out together, since I hear your voice. *
sighs*
Will bear with this feeling of longing a lil longer...... *
sighs*
Love you lotz...my dear...
QueenLiyn@22:41
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No easy life...
Blogging at 1am in the morning again.
Foundation Physics test this afternoon was a killer. I am not so confident that I'll pass it, but of course, I want to pass it. All I know was that when I opened the paper, my mind just when blank. I experience nirvana for 1 whole hour.
But I'm glad that all the mid-term tests are finally over. Ease at heart...
no. I know that I'm the
worst among the best even when I've given my wholely best. I'm going to catch up with all the tutorials, hopefully, within this week. Make an appointment with the lecturers, if necessary. I guess this is the only thing that I'm gonna do for the next 5 weeks before the exam starts.
Went shopping just now. Roamed around Jurong Point waiting for my parents to pick me up after school. Bought 2 lycra tops from Giordano. Finally, something new to wear. 1 Black and 1 White. Been wanting to do something with the money I have, so I went shopping!!
Happy? Still not happy. I'm fat. What can I say....I just need energy food for my brain.
It's funny but just now, a guy said that I look like a mixture of Arab and Indian. My mom said that that was an obvious compliment....I was shocked! Is it the way I dress? Am I that dark? Lol...Nolah...that's just his eyes playing a trick on him....
QueenLiyn@01:00
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Never Take Me For Granted
It's been quite some time since I've updated. Been busy catching up with my sleep and also preparing for the last 2 mid-term tests.
I had my Env Chem test just now and it basically sucks. This Saturday, I have Foundatn Physics test and I'm gonna stay up late tonight to study at least 3 tutorials...
Anyway, school's okay. Sometimes fun. Sometimes just plain boring. One thing different about this week is that, I've been fasting for the past 3 days. I would say that it's torturing cause my stomach just can't stop
crying...!!!! But well, at least I managed to complete 3 days....
Tomorrow, we are celebrating Aisyah's birthday. We have a huge surprise for her. Hahaha....
You know, I've been observing people and my environment for the past few days. I realize that I don't observe the obvious. People around me are getting weirder. The way they behave and everything. I've become meaner cause I want to make someone realize her bad attitude. Sometimes, I just don't understand people. It makes me feel guilty doing what I do but still, I don't want to be taken for granted and be treated shabbily. I want to be a friend who cares and I don't like people to be secretive about stuffs.
On the other hand, there are the good stuffs. Don't really want to state them here. But overall, I've enjoyed school so far, despite the pressure that's building inside me....again....
QueenLiyn@23:50
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Imaginations Run Wild...
Imagine this....I miss my dearest...and I just came into the train after leaving my friends. I turned around, I saw him. That's my first glance. Not convinced, I took my second glance. By the third glance....disappointed cause it wasn't him, it's the brother!! LOL.....
Anyway, today, I found out from one of the girls I know since poly days, that girls have been fishing for guys in University. I was shocked! These girls have a list of admirers and all they have to do is CHOOSE!! I was like...."So, I am busy studying whereas other girls go fishing huh?" What is this world coming to? University guys
that great
meh? What's the main purpose of coming to Uni in the first place???
Hook up with smart, mature and studious guys? LOL....
To say that these girls are pretty, not up to my standard of what I call "
pretty". To say they are beautiful, they lack of character. But I can see that, there's a lot of pairing up in my lecture theatre.... Ugly guys with pretty girls and vice versa....
Bad for the eyes.......tsk tsk....
QueenLiyn@22:48
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Do not allow the Impossible...
So, I can't imagine having my aunt and my Nigger uncle at my house and especially, when they are going to bunk in my room. Imagine all the freedom and privacy that I'll lack. They are
religiously educated. Imagine the comments that they are going to give about me. For example, the music I listen to, the TV shows that I watch, the clothes that I wear, my usual habits and even, there's a high chance of them commenting about the photos of me and my dearest.
And imagine again, the smell of sweat of my uncle. Oh my God!! In my room somemore. And my mom's letting another man sleep on my bed? No..no...my bed will break into pieces and no other man will lie on my bed except for my man. LoL....
But if this situation ever happens, I will pack up my bag and leave home. I'll stay in the dorm with Aisyah. More peace and much much more freedom.
Haha...sooo
lucu....
Anyway, my dearest has already finish school and he just started working full-time. So, that means I won't be seeing him anytime soon. He'll be busy with work and me, on the other hand, has to do well in my exams. *
sighs* Will be missing him....
QueenLiyn@21:21
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Perfection...
Today, we went to eat lunch at Grand Hyatt's Straits Kitchen. I ate quite a lot and at the end of the day, I was like very dizzy. But this time, no vomitting only that I had to go to the toilet for a few times. I went for my gym training yesterday, now I gained everything back....:(
Here's a photo of my whole family. It's been quite some time since we took a family portrait.
Me, Mama, Abah, Nasir and Ilyas....
Hmm...I've been thinking. At this age, I'm still repeating my mistakes. I have to accept the fact that I'm growing older each day and probably wiser but well..... Knowing the stubborn me, I wouldn't bulge. Oh yah, I managed to control my ego but I tend to look down on myself most of the time cause everyone's doing better than me. Not only in studies but also in love.
I'm no
perfecto. I'm only trying my best to make the best of everything....
QueenLiyn@23:51
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Pheladium...
Hows my vacation?
Slacking all the way...ehehehe...supposed to catch up the past 2 weeks tutorials for all the modules and also to study for Env Chem and Foundatn Physics tests. But instead, I play Maple Story the whoooleee day.......
LOL....
I'm already at Level 15 going to 16. My character is a magician, named Pheladium. It's a very difficult name to remember but well, I created the name with the help of the Periodic Table. I've been playing the game with QueenPeePee who actually is Syahirah for the past few days.
It's fun and addictive. I get to harrass other ppl and make fun of them. I was being made fun of last night cause I am a newbie. But well, everyone has their own beginning. Other than that, I get to shop for the stuffs cause the more I train, the more
mesos I get....
Well, only for now I get to enjoy...next week...it's gonna be
STUDY, STUDY and more
STUDY....!!!!!
QueenLiyn@23:56
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PAIN!!
Dammit...stomach pain like hell....
QueenLiyn@23:07
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Love Actually...
So, this morning I woke up from a dream whereby tears fell down my cheeks freely... Maybe I couldn't help it cause I was really crying in that dream...
I dreamt about him. I dreamt that I did something and he refused to talk or acknowledge me. The thing is that in reality, we never quarelled before. I know it's just a dream but it really gets to me. Cause what I did in that dream, I actually planned to do it in reality. It isn't wrong. It had nothing to do with being faithful or trusting. No third party involved. It's more like my conscience.
I don't want to say what it is cause well, probably I will carry on that plan somewhere in the future when I've got the chance to.
But, you should have seen how I was in that dream. Broken. I thought I've done the right thing but he said that I went against him. I was actually begging him to forgive me. But in reality, I don't know what I'll do. Now, thinking of it, makes me wonder whether he really do love me.
You might say that I'm paranoid or just being emotional. I feel lonely and unspecial at all most of the time. Maybe I am independent but I do still rely on a man for my life to go on. As a girlfriend, I do have needs. Why don't you question me on what I want? Is it because I asked you the question, that I have to contribute more on this relationship?
We are coming to a year in 3 weeks time. We need to improve and change the way we treat each other in this relationship...
I am willing to be in a relationship with you because I
REALLY DO love you.....and I hope that you do too.....
(P.S. Hatta...aft reading this...plz tell me how u feel....)
QueenLiyn@14:35
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My Current Addiction...
Almost 1am and I have yet to go to sleep.
Arghhhh!!! I am really hooked on Maple Story. Played it with Syahirah earlier on and she became a rogue whereas I became a magician. And I'm still playing it now!!
Oh God...gotta stop before I lose my momentum of studying...
Decided to do some revising for probably Chemistry tomorrow cause there's a test when school reopens. And then maybe hit the gym.
No Maple Story tomorrow...I'm soo old for God's sake...
QueenLiyn@00:56
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Fatty Bom Bom...
I'm fat. I'm really really fat. Saw my weight and I wanted to cry.
I'm on my diet again next week, plus doing my training in the gym for at least twice next week. I'm so scared that I'm going to balloon up in a matter of days. I'm going to live on both yogurt and banana for next week, hope it really do work...
Can I actually commit to that type of training again?
Oh yah, just now there was a gathering at my house. I wasn't expecting the unexpected and well, the unexpected didn't turn up. Know what I mean? I was contented that at least I have my 2 sistas, Juni and Lina. And I was rather shocked that Hussin actually lose a lot of weight. The effect of NS huh?
Kesian die...
Haiz...I'm rather hooked on
Maple Story. It's a simulation game. It's fun actually and addictive. And, I get to make new friends online. I've advanced to the eigth level so far, since I started playing the afternoon.
Wanna go and play it again now...sooo ciao!!!
QueenLiyn@23:43
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A day in school...
Just changed my template. The photo looks a little slutty but well, I love it. Something different. Purple and urm....slutty...
Anyway, today I went to school with my digicam. Here are the shots....
Denise: "Hey!! There's a red light!!!!"
Me:"Errr......"
It feels good to be me...
The beautiful Suria.
Small eyed Denise...hehe
Jieli caught off-guard...
Whose feet is nicer?
Just couldn't understand what Paulus Irawan is saying...
Just checking how I look like from d back....
Ain't this photo nice???
Last photo before we go....
Smile!!!
Walking and Snapping photos...
Aisyah on the phone....
This is how NTU's North classroom block looks like...
Me and Aisyah....
In the bus, on our way to Boon Lay interchange...
Well, that sums it all. You can find much much more photos in
here. Misc photos that me and my friends took for the past weeks....
QueenLiyn@23:20
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Having my needs addressed...
The title says it all.....
Just came back from Johor. I'm soooo happy now, cause my vacation has just begun. Hehe....
Well, I passed my Maths. Did much better than Fluid Mechanics and guess what, the tests that I took today which are Eng Prob and Stats and Mech of Matl, well, it went very very well than what I'd expected. Guranteed full marks for MOM!!! WOOOO......hehehe.... Now, I'm only left with Env Chem and Foundatn Physics after the vacation.....
It's worth my time and energy studying hard for all those tests.....
Anyway, I received an email from one of my ex-colleagues from Atotech. I think he's the warehouse supervisor. Funnily, he remembers me! Don't know how to reply his email, so, I guess I'll just not reply anything... Saw Jingping on my way to school, this morning. I never really noticed her in the first place when she was actually in front of me cause my head was somewhere in Eng Prob and Stats. Only saw her when she alighted and was grinning from ear to ear...Hahaha....
I guess I should go back there next year during my 3 months vacation perhaps? Maybe, work for them or something....well, my parents want me to work so that I will be able to support myself during my 3rd yr in Uni...but we'll see....
I need to hit the gym twice next week. I'm fat. I have a "
tummy" already. And my butt is growing too and I feel that I'm becoming more chubby. Been eating a lot of high in carbo and fats food for the past few days cause I need them in order for my brain to function. But really, I do need to workout before I
balloon up.....
Hmm...this reminds me about something. Less than a month from today is my 1 year anniversary with him. Reminder for him if he's reading this...it's 6th Oct okay....
Oklah...I'm off to bed...Nitez!~
QueenLiyn@01:41
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Medicine for the Soul...
Confident or not for tomorrow's tests...all that matters is that I'm prepared for them....
I just hope that MOM isn't that hard. It's important that I don't fail any of those tests..... Tomorrow, also, I'll probably be getting both my Maths and Sociology results... Sociology actually makes me nauseaus, just thinking of it....
Today, Denise said that she feels like a
bimbo cause she used to be crazy for this attached Malay guy. Haha...and yah, he's
fireman. I found out a lot of things about him for the past few days, the fact, that he's sooo damn irritating and lovesss to disturb me... But anyway, I told Denise that she's not a
bimbo cause if she's a
bimbo, then I'm one too, as none of my friends are potential
bimbos!!
Okay...let's talk about yesterday. I went out with Hatta to Orchard to catch a movie at Cineleisure. It was actually our very first date, there. "
Town virgins", he said. Haha...it's true though. Had our dinner at Far East Plaza after that. I had fun yesterday. My life has been very monotonous and empty recently. And well, I guess he filled that emptiness in me......
*
sighs*
It feels good to sigh.....and sigh and sigh.....
QueenLiyn@23:08
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Pooping...
I'm sooooooooooooo pooped...
QueenLiyn@22:45
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Laughter is a Medicine
So, I discovered that I passed my Fluid Mechanics today. A borderline pass, but Mama said that I should be thankful that I didn't fail it..........
Well, anyways, I had the funniest day today. During the lab session this morning, one of the guys from my group is such a joker. He kept me and the others laughing like mad cows. Then, after lunch, me and Aisyah wanted to take the Engineering Probability and Statistics test with Denise's tutorial group, but we weren't allowed to do so.
My time was wasted during the weekends studying for that. I should have studied for Sociology instead. But nevermind, at least I've studied for it. Later, another funny thing happened. Me and Aisyah actually forgot to attend our tutorial class! We were too busy talking about politics and religion that we were
30 MINUTES LATE!!!!
Haiz....and I couldn't stop laughing, again, during the tutorial class. No wonder my stomach's bloated. LOL....
Hmm...did I tell you anything about
Fireman? He made me feel so embarrassed today. Oh God..
Anyway, going out with my dearest tomorrow. Can't wait!!!!!!!! Hehe....
QueenLiyn@23:45
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Heavy Weight Ain't Me No More...
I was watching Villa Wellness just now. It's rather cruel to like see all the heavy-weighters suffer just to get what they want.
Those women actually reminded me of myself. I used to be one of them. Ate too much oily and high in cholestrol food. Can never resist temptations. Can't fit into size S clothes. Can't fit into dresses. Too heavy. I was a heavy-weight girl too.
I was unable to take care of my own body too. For example, I don't do manicure. I never ensure that my hair is at its right place. Never shave. Didn't care whether I have a
spare tyre or not. Or that my face was too oily and that I rarely wash my face or gave it a scrub. They leave scars on my face now..... Even BO was uncontrollable then.
I was very ignorant of my own body. Now, I'm glad that I've changed....
Thinking of it....I hope that I don't go back to the way I was back then....
Haiz....I'm sooo pooped right now...
QueenLiyn@23:10
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Up and Going...
Still up at 1.30am.
Finished writing down all the formulas for Eng Stats and Prob. During the day, I studied 4 chapters for my Sociology test on Tuesday. Stopped when I reached the chapter on politics and economy cause after that, I've gotta do more critical thinking...
I'm getting
sian on studying. But still, I know, I'm not going to stop studying till I'm done with all of my mid-term tests.
Haiz.......let's pray that I don't break down before Thursday.....
But I've got something to look forward to on Tuesday...Yay! Hehehe....
QueenLiyn@01:30
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Important Source of Stability
Geez... It's been quite some time since I've updated.
I've just finished two of my mid-term quizzes. 3 more to go. They basically suck cause the Maths paper was too damn easy that we can't even do and fluid mechanics, wasn't that straight-forward.
I was actually very prepared for those tests. I just don't know why I do not have any confidence on getting high marks for them. I'm left with Engineering Statistics and Probability which I'm going to take on Monday, Sociology on Tuesday and Mechanics of Materials on Thursday.
I've got a lot of butterflies in my stomach, cause I always expect the unexpected....
So, what's new in my life?
Basically nothing. No change. Only a change in my social structure. Haha....made more friends. Smiling more than ever. Just erasing that thin line that I've drawn between me and other Malay guys. But I do have some problems with one of my friends. No mentioning of names here....
Haiz...still...I miss that one person....
QueenLiyn@23:18
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