Family is important...
Sometimes, family ties won't last. Those family ties will be loosened in the end, if it's not being cherished time and again.
I'm so sad that my family turns out to be an outcast. I don't really know why we turn out to be this way when we gave a lot of things to others, in many many ways. We kept giving until a year ago, when I forbidded my mom to stop giving cause we don't get anything back. I'm not being selfish but being too generous can allow others to take advantage of us.
You see, when I was younger...all of us used to be so close together. I'm actually talking about my aunts and uncles on my mom's side. We used to do a lot of things together like during Hari Raya, we would go visiting together, or when we have a barbeque, we would gather together and do a lot of other things. Now, my family seemed to be pushed aside and often, we are not invited for such gatherings.
I can't put my hopes on my aunts and uncles on my father's side because since I was young, we've been "
outcast". So, I don't hope so much but at least, I'm not at loggerheads with any of my cousins on my father's side. Instead, we all
click because we all treat each other like siblings. We respect each other even though we call each other "
aku" and "
kau" whether young or old.
You know, I used to be sooo close to my aunties on my mother's side. I was especially close to Bibik My cause I grew up with her. Mama even said that I'm growing up to be like her, which is of course, not a good thing. I don't know what happened. Nobody seemed to want to know how am I doing or how my brothers are doing.
At times, I wish my grandparents are still alive. At least, everyone would be together. At least, I have someone to run to when I'm feeling down. At least, I have someone to talk to other than my parents. At least, me and Abang Zul won't be at loggerheads. Because when we were younger, my grandfather always stopped me and him from getting into a fight or argument. Now, everyone is siding him. I bet they are, cause he talks to all of them, but not for me, as I don't find it that good talking about this to my aunts and uncles.
I find that they are not being fair to us. We, as a family, are normally busy. Yes, busy making money. But we all have a life too. We don't deserve to be pushed aside cause we are like....so-called "
wet blankets". You know, I miss those happy times we had when we barbeque till 3am in the morning. I was sooo jealous when other families still got to do this together. I miss those times when we would all squeeze in one van during Hari Raya and we would go visiting from house to house, without any complains. I remembered those times. I had fun then. I really did, even when it means travelling with a large number of people.
I wish everything and everybody will stay the same. ALthough my parents are getting older, my aunts and uncles are not getting any younger and us, the children are going into our early twenties, I think we should still cherish our family tie. It's a rather big family. But I love a big family. We all used to be sooo happy together...
Now, I hope and pray that I would never end up this way in the future. I don't want to start a family which will turn out to be an "
outcast" in the end.
(Though tears are welling up fast in my eyes, I'm glad that I say what I have to say. I don't really care whose reading. But hopefully this entry will be able to convey the right message to everyone....)
QueenLiyn@23:14
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