Future
Stayed home for the whole day. Mopped the floor in the morning and then, I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. Watched VCDs on my laptop. It's been a rather long time since I did that. The last time was during my examinations. Normally, for me to concentrate on what I'm studying, I'll either play a movie on my laptop or blast really loud music in my ears. In this way, I won't be paying attention to my surroundings or think too much.
I can't study when it's very quiet. I need my own
solitude. I can't be distracted by laughter or anger when I'm studying. And I'll give up on anything that I am focusing on. The thing is that I take my studies seriously. Well, I won't deny that something came in between my studies, a few months back. But I got back into track...didn't I?
Hah....I love studying. I prefer studying to working. At the end of next month, I would have a total of 1 year of work experience in two different fields. I'm glad that I met that target. Working is very sucky. Dealing with the real world really sucks. At least, studying is damn easy despite all the exams. But for studying, examinations come once in a semester but for working examinations come everyday.
So, who says working is easy??
Hmm...had a funny dream last night of Hatta. I dreamt that he gave me something but well, I never got the chance to open it. I'm still wondering what's inside.
Haiz...next Thursday, I'll be receiving my very last results from polytechnic. After 3 years, now, I wouldn't say that I hate poly days. But it just wasn't fun at all. I had my ups and downs. Some excitement but mostly are studies. Made quite a group of friends. Friends come and go.
Remembering my first year, I was struggling to hold on to my studies. I wasn't prepared to deal with many equations. I hung out in big groups, but always got left out cause I'm like the only Malay there. There was some excitement especially when I have my weekly lunches with my close friends and not forgetting that amazing confession that someone made. Scary...but well...I wasn't a least bit moved....Cause I wasn't interested in starting a relationship in school...
My second year, I grew fatter. And cause I gained a lot of weight, I also look bigger. Physically, I tried to change myself. I did something to my hair. I looked older. To me, that time, I looked nice lah...now...I think my looks suck. I tried to lose weight. I mean...I really did try. But to no avail. Nothing could make me lose weight. No motivational support or encouragement...and I just keep gaining everyday....But well, in my second year in poly, my results were at a tip top condition. My results slips were
raining with many A+...!! But when there's success, there's always failure. I fall emotionally and I got my heart broken rather badly.....
Third year, fresh from industrial training. Ready for my last semester spent in school. I started to lose weight cause I was too damn pressurized. Ego was at the lowest. Or should I say pride...I don't know....But well, I did something that I never imagine that I am capable of doing. Studies wise, I slipped a lil bit but I managed to pull through for my final year project. And I set off for industrial attachment. Lost like 20 over kilos. Hahaha....no kidding...and I shrunk in both size and height.
Now, I'm glad that I'm almost done with poly. I'm graduating and I'm leaving poly days, without even looking behind....and only bringing with me my qualification and the guy whom I love to the next chapter of my life....
And ....I don't know what to expect...still thinking of my own future...only God decides my fate...
QueenLiyn@23:53
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