My biggest regret...
You know...day after day, I see Syahirah becoming more and more like me. Last time, I only thought that we have the same faces as we have the same hairstyle. Now, I see my past in her whereas she sees her future in me.
We are two girls with the same thinking but having two different split personalities.
I remembered myself being 14, 6 years ago. I was young, wild and immature. I fell for that guy since secondary one and he ended up as my classmate in secondary two. I never thought of him being my boyfriend. I never even care for him. Those
3 golden words never came out of me. All I know was that, he's the guy that I
fell in love with at first sight. In a matter of months, I lost him to another girl.
Of course I was disappointed but not to the point of depression. But I was angry. In Sec 2, every morning, I would go to my bestfriend's class to sit and talk and to go flag-raising ceremony with Sukhairen together. It happened right in front of my eyes one morning, in that classroom. Unfortunately, the girl was from that class. The funny thing was that I just sat there and watched but I know my heart was ranting and ranting. I only broke down at home. Everyone was happy for him and even I, smiled at him.
But I know I wasn't a least bit happy. Being young and immature, of course, I would want him back. I never thought of where I go wrong. All I know was that I hated him. I hated him so damn much that I called him a yellow-minded big-teethed monster. To me, till now, no matter how much he has changed, in my eyes, he's still a yellow-minded big-teethed monster. He's just a friend to me now and I thought I would love him forever...
LOL...So, peeps who know me since secondary school thought that I love this guy like since forever. Hah...I managed to fool them all...making them believe that I still like him even when I was in secondary 4. I'm not stupid okay. I know he ain't good.
And as I think back again when I was in secondary 2, I actually walked into the class of the guy whom I love now, almost every morning. I always walked in front of him...or past him...or even sat behind him...but I barely noticed him. Cause last time...hahaha...he's so short...hahha...ok... that wasn't the reason. I just don't know him. I only know his name and that he belongs to the
bisu club...
Hahaha...I'm so bad....I'm so so bad....
LOL...
The thing is that Syahirah...there are better guys out there. Like I always tell you...
expect the unexpected. Like me...I don't know what to say. I gave all my close friends the shock of their lives. Or to be exact, the both of us gave our friends their shock of their lives. Cause what I told them last time, doesn't mean it's really true. I might be talking the total opposite of everyting!
You see your future in me. And I see my past in you. You might see me as your role model. But never follow in my footsteps. I took the wrong path when I was your age. I should not be in an Art class. I should be doing triple science or double maths. Although I got top 40 in the whole of sec 2 express but I wasn't good enough to be in a science class...
My
BIGGEST regret. I regretted okay. I shouldn't be doing chemical engineering...I should be in the course of my dreams or even be in a junior college. But darn....thinking the positive way, I wouldn't have met him if I wasn't in an Art class. I wouldn't be that close to my bestfriend if I'm not in the Art class. And I wouldn't have the most fun in secondary school if I wasn't in that Art class!
I learn from my mistakes. Prioritise the most important first. Though there might be temptations around...but Syahirah, let's say this guy goes with you to the next chapter of your life, take your chances then. But for now....make your folks proud...
QueenLiyn@20:07
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