Abangs
Dozed all the way back from work. SO tired. Today, last day of my suffering. I mean tonight is the last night I touch up on my final report before I hand it in tomorrow. Stupid Joel. Message him never reply.
So, we are graduating soon. Everyone is already planning on what they are going to do after graduation. Some of my girlfriends want to study overseas. Some want to stay and study in the local university. Some want to work. Whereas my guyfriends prepare for NS in this coming June...
Me? I'm stuck in the crossroads. Don't know where to head. Studies or work...I'm unsure. Yes, I'd submitted documents to the local universities but I'm not confident about entering. I just feel that I'm not good enough, compared to others, to enter. Now, I should be trying hard and finding ways to enter a university...but I'm not doing anything. The thing is that I leave everything to fate. Well, I don't want to mess things up. I am more focused on the present rather than the future. Cause whatever I achieve now, will determine my future.
I'm rather scared about the future cause I don't know what I've gotta face. I'm scared that I will fall again. Now, some things in my life are falling whereas some are building up. I'm not doing anything to build up the things in my life that are falling now, cause I know I still have the strength and capability to restartagain. I concentrate more on those things that are building up in my life as they are the things that I
refused to let them fall.
Haiz...why do I sound so serious...
Too pressurized...need some air. Need a breather. Need some fun. Anyone can give me fun? Oh ya...hopefully I see Abang Zul this Sunday. Long time never see him. Wonder whether he gain weight or not. Hah...that's a joke...he can never be fat.
Talking about Abang right...You know, I've been wishing that I'm not born the eldest. I wish I have an older brother. I wish I have someone to call ABANG.
All my abang sedare tak guna. I mean they approached me before, or even offered to protect me ...whatever...but it never felt like my own flesh and blood. Even Hussin, whose like a month older than me and my own flesh and blood...is more like my friend rather than my
abang.
Kalau ada abang...mesti ada future kakak-in-law. Kan best. Like Abang Zul, he told me that he and his girlfriend already planned the year they are getting engaged. Of course I'm happy cause he's happy. But don't expect me to call her
kakak...she don't qualify as one. Imagine calling someone whose 3 years younger than you,
kakak. To make things worst...she's a
qualified minah...LOL!
I'm so bad....Hahaha...well...to girls out there....If you have an older brother or two or no matter how many you have... Appreciate them. They are the ones who'll help you through in the future when you have problems. They are the ones who provide you all the security you need.
Haiz..
Report. Report. Report....
QueenLiyn@19:35
------------------------------------------------------------
