ignorance.is.a.feminine.virtue

Don't Know

Went shopping today. Bought new heels, specially for my formal presentation next week. I was like Cinderella as I tried on the heels. It fitted me perfectly and looked beautiful on me.... I looked tall for a while....but I had difficulties in walking. It's been a long long time since I wore proper heels....

Then, went to buy Zufi's stuffs. Bought a variety of different flavors of his food, milk and also a packet of treats. The packet of treats was rather expensive....

Work today was okay. Hee...I was rather thoughtful today. I don't know why. Other than being thoughtful, I was being patient and tolerant. I was willing to teach and help others. I had good laughs with Lay Nah and Jing Ping. They are no longer my supervisors...they are my colleagues. And there's a new lab technician. Her name is Chiew Fang. Rather close to her right now cause I'm the one helping her and guiding her most of the time. Well, I have fun teaching an older person. At least, she trusts me.

Hmmm...other than all that stuffs....I've been thinking....mostly of him...Hahaha.... But the funny thing was that I never get distracted. It's been him all day in my mind...but not a single analysis failed nor a glassware broken....Ask me for the reason...I also don't know why...

QueenLiyn@23:37

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Keeping a Cat

Hmm...don't know what to blog.

I'm sooo pooped. Having a pet is like dealing with a child. Zufi is so damn stubborn that I had to shout at him to shut up. Nearly gave up on that cat when I realized that I should learn how to give more love to animals. I shouldn't give up so easily.

It's not me to give up so easily. I know that humans and animals are totally different. But keeping a pet and being responsible for it is a challenge to me. A rather BIG challenge cause you don't know the feelings of the animal or what he is thinking about.... But I won't surrender so easily...

Well, I just gotta treat Zufi like my son and watch him grow old and FAT...heheheh....Hah...now he's locked up in his cage inside the toilet. Will only let him out in the morning and will put him in again when I go out to work....... He can't be in any of our rooms...he'll be giving us black rings overnight...

Oklah...no mood to talk about work.

My eyes are watery right now.....so I'm bunking in now....Nitez!

QueenLiyn@23:33

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Itchylah...

How am I feeling now??

Itchy all over. Oh God...please tell me that I'm not allergic to cats in long term. This is sickening!

Maybe it isn't a good idea to have a cat at home. But now..Zufi's sleeping with my brothers cause I just couldn't stop scratching myself whenever he comes near. He's supposed to sleep in my room okiez....For the first few hours of holding him in my arms, I was okay. Happily cuddling him and whatsoever. But later, I started scratching and I became irritated of him. Got my youngest brother to take him away from me. Maybe the next few days I have to be apart from him...need to concentrate on my presentation....

Well, I ended up with sore legs at the end of the day after work. Moved around a lot. A lot of things and analyses to do. It's funny how I can socialize easily but I still keep in mind that I can't get close to anyone I socialize with...if not...I won't be happy. Got my pathetic allowance today. It's less than 350 bucks. It's very very very pathetic. Oh well, I guess, I've got no choice but to eat in for lunch, everyday this week...Pathetic...Pathetic....

Hmm...something to look forward to next week. YaY! Hehehe....finally the week has come for my rest days. Looking forward to end everything that has to do with IAP and polytechnic. And especially looking forward to meeting him! Been quite some time since we met. Okay...so it's been only 3 weeks. Eh...at least we still can survive even when it's more than 3 weeks. Looking forward to spending time together with him.....

OKok....talked enough...I'm still wondering who else got into Environmental Engineering in NTU? Fill me in! Fill me in!!

QueenLiyn@23:57

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Skin Problems...

I cried while watching a Hindi movie. It's so touching....and I'm just being emotional...haha...

I'm halfway through my presentation slides. I've decided to be 100% prepared for the presentation next Monday. I don't want to cock up like my final year project presentation which sucked.....!

Haiz...my face is giving me problems now. The skin around my nose and my mouth is especially dry. I kept scratching that area because it's very itchy. I don't really know what's the root of the problem. Kept putting more and more moisturizer on it. But the effect of the moisturizer is for a while only and later, I will start scratching again. For the next few days, I won't be able to wear any make-up on my face. Hopefully, it would go away before the next weekends.......

*sighs*

QueenLiyn@15:48

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Dreams DO Come True...

Here I am sitting at home doing almost nothing. Other than carrying out my usual weekend chore like mopping the floor...I know I have to work on my presentation for my final report.

A lil bit lazylah...But I've started on it okay.....

Feel like going out but I'm flat-broke. I will only get my monthly allowance tomorrow. Tomorrow, is a new week for me cause I'll be earning more. I'll still be working at the same place but the HR department have yet to approach me officially on anything. Hopefully, they do not need to call anyone that I've referenced.

Haiz...I still have that happy and excited feeling. The fact that I don't need to work for the next 3 years and I will only officially finish my education at the age of 23. I couldn't believe that I'll be taking the path of my dreams.....

I just hope all of my dreams will come true....no matter what they are....

Ok...let's talk about cats. I grew up around cats. When I was just a lil girl, I had a white grey striped cat. Her name is Comel. SHe like to play with me and lick me on my face a lot. Then, in primary school, there was a black cat named KC junior. He's still a kitten and he was killed by my mother............ Later, before I moved house, I had another persian grey cat named KC senior. He had kidney problem. Although he has health problems, he's the most beautiful cat I have ever seen...

Now, at 20, I adopted another kitty. He's still a kitten. I named him Zufi. Zufi means smart and successful. He's a black mischevious kitten with a big EGO...no doubt.....Only that I have yet to bring him home......Want to see his photos??

Ain't he cute?

See how fragile and small his lil body is.....

Zufi loves to take photos....

Comparing his small paw with my BIG thigh...

QueenLiyn@11:25

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My Faith in Allah...

Ya Allah...once I step my foot back in SIngapore....good news awaits me at my doorstep...

Ya Allah...only you know how I am feeling right now...

Ya Allah...I thank you for answering my prayers and my parent's. For granting me my only wish, my only hope and my DREAM.

Ya Allah...I'm floating up high...

Ya Allah...I'm on cloud nine...

Ya Allah...all my dreams are coming true...

Ya Allah...I feel like crying now....

Ya Allah...when I felt like giving up and lost my confidence...you show me the light to my faith...

Ya Allah..I just don't know what to say...

Ya Allah...you've strengthen my faith for you more.....

~AMIN~

QueenLiyn@20:26

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New Beginning

WAHAHAH...guess who I saw this morning in school... I saw S. Thank God he didn't recognize me....Hahahah...

It's funny that a lot of my friends don't recognize me anymore, especially my secondary school friends. It took them two glances to recognize who I am. Did I change that much physically? To me...I still look the same cause I see that same person in the mirror everyday...

Anyway, work was as per usual today. Better mood cause me and Lay Nah just couldn't stop laughing at Jing Ping who was hiccupping non-stop....very funny....lol... Made a huge mistake about something. I overlooked one of the pH for one of the QC samples yesterday and luckily, Jing Ping noticed that the pH failed. If not, I'll get Atotech into trouble!!! Urghh...stupid me...I was actually cursing myself the whole time when I found out that I did something stupid...reassured myself that everybody makes mistake. I'm not that perfect anyway....

Tomorrow will be a busy day for me. Molex came in this afternoon. So, tomorrow, I'll be occupied with mostly Molex and some other Tech Service samples. Stupid chrome came in again this week...just don't understand why they can't come in at the same time. I'm sick of doing it.

Well, I applied officially for the job today. As for the expected pay, I don't know whether it's too little cause even my parents said that I set my expectation low for a diploma holder. But to me, it's rather demanding cause I never earn that much before. Haha... I actually even forget the details of my employment history and in the end, I didn't fill in anything there. For the first time, I had to reference two people. First, I referenced Bibik My cause since a long time ago, I know she's the person that I can reference. Apart from being one of my favourite aunts, she knows my working style and well, she somehow know about me. The second person is...him. Because he's the second person that I can only think of. Someone that I can depend and trust and in a way, he somehow knows me well...

Ok...well...tomorrow's the last day of attachment. After tomorrow, I'll be earning more, probably double or triple what I earn now, and will even be working overtime. I don't mind as long as I can earn some money for future use.

I can't wait to start a new chapter of my life. A new chapter doesn't mean new things. A new chapter means a new beginning....After 3 years of a chapter of my life, I'm ready to move on to the next chapter.....Hopefully, things will turn out fine.....

Oh ya...I'll be gone from here till Saturday. Flying off to Gunung Ledang tomorrow evening....

Some words for him.....you know what...i miss you a lot.......................

For now...I'll take my leave....

QueenLiyn@23:39

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Another fateful day...

I couldn't believe it. I cried. Didn't actually really cry but just that a drop of tear went down my cheeks. I was listening to a song by Papa Roach entitled "Scars". I kept repeating that song on my Discman and the lyrics just kept ringing in my ears. The lyrics are so...like me. Like my past. I was a little upset and well, kinda surprised cause I cried thinking about my past.

It's hard to forget the scars of my past. Do I lack so much that I'm being compared to another being?

Thank God...I've moved on. *sighs*

Anyways, work today was not so busy. Left me rather frustrated at the end of the day. Hatta, you should know why. I only tell him things. QC didn't give me any problems...neither does the CVS. I was happily preparing base solutions cause...you know...preparing those solutions is like cooking. First, I must know the ingredients and their amounts to make up the solution. Then, after that, I can cook. Left one of the solutions overnight for carbon treatment. Tomorrow, when I reach work, then I would filter the carbon using vacuum.

I love what I do. Though it's frustrating, but it's just part of the working life.

Will be late for work tomorrow...I'll be going to school in the morning and then will take taxi to work. Finally, I have all the documents I need to hand in. Asked Amos to write me a testimonial so that I can fax it to Joel on Thursday. Heh...will take the chance to buy lunch from school also...hehehehe....

You know, just now in the morning before work...I saw this cute black kitten. I don't know where it came from because most of the cats here are sterilized. It was playing in the middle of the road. Cause it was so small and light, I picked it up and walked as far from the road as possible and placed it on the ground. It was so damn cute when it started biting my jeans and even biting my toe. It's not painful...imagine small teeth biting a big toe. I just laughed at it.

During the time I was working, I was thinking about that kitten. I thought of adopting it. I want it to be my pet and also my friend. I will feed it until it grew fat and chubby. And keep it until it became old. But then, takde jodoh...*sobs sobs*...didn't see it anywhere on my way home....

Oklah...I'll end here...

QueenLiyn@19:34

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Gunung Ledang

Second time blogging...

Hah...can't sleep...

Well...a lil bit restless...so I checked out my friends in Friendster. Added more of them. Kinda interesting...cause I was like staring at the photos. Haha....Photos...like how amazing the photos were taken at different angles...of different places. And I especially like the silat helang photo in Saddiq's profile.

Kinda cool...Though I've seen much more than the silat helang. But catch the act on camera...is definitely very very cool...

Tomorrow is going to be another draggy day. Can't wait for Thursday when I will be setting off to Gunung Ledang. Need some personal advice from the Puteri. I love the food best at Gunung Ledang. Normally, I hate to eat fish curry...but there...it is so damn delicious that I can eat the same thing everyday. Even the asam pedas is soooo POWER... Everything there's delicious. You just name it...

Wooo...can't wait to eat...

Oklah....I'll blog again tomorrow...till then...Good Nightz!

QueenLiyn@23:59

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Complimentary

Today...work was rather busy. A lot of things to do. A lot of things to struggle. A lot of jobs are being "dumped" at me...and well, I finished it all. Got complimented by Amos. Thank you very much. I personally went to meet him in his office and I chatted with him about certain things. He's in a good mood because he talks a lot...and hah...I feel good when he compliments me...

Hav a hella headache right now...

Couldn't sleep well last night. Dreamt about him. It was like a puzzle. We couldn't find each other in that dream. Itz a nightmare. Dreams about me and him are supposed to be wonderful...not terrible...

Oh God...

ANyway....after months of being conscious of my body....I think it's time to turn my attention to my face. It's getting bad. The dark splotches on my face are getting from bad to worst. Maybe it's my exposure to chemicals fumes and everything. I don't have the habit of washing my face after work. From today onwards...I'm going to instill myself with the habit of washing my face regularly with a cleanser.

Let's see how long I'll last doing this....and how the results will turn out to be... It's ugly okay...everything turns out okay...except for my skin...which SUCKS...

YAWNZ.....ciao for now..Desperate Housewives is on...

QueenLiyn@21:56

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Childhood

SO...I've changed the template again. Now this is my colour. Black. I simply love black!

Anyways, just now I went to a jemputan. My kakak sedara got married. Instead of meeting my sisters and brothers, I met up with my long-time friends. They are my cousins lah...but we are more like friends. Their names are Ani and Noraini. I grew up with them. We are all of the same age. The three of us don't look any different since young.

I always look the most mature and also the tallest. They are the qualified minahs since young. I'm just turning into one...at this age. LOL....I'm the only one still studying and will continue studying. They are working and surprise, surprise...Ani's getting engaged soon. It's not actually surprising lah...she's pretty, with long hair, fair skin, petite body, sexy and big boobs. HAHA!

I grew up with Ani. I used to call her Heidi. Never judge her by the way she looks. SHe might look like a typical minah...but she has a good soul inside her...even though she's rather rowdy. She's the one who always pull me one side...and we will talk. AT this age, normally, I don't have the time to talk girly stuffs with her. We don't talk about boys. If we do talk about boys...it's never about our guys. Noraini came into the picture when we were in the same primary school. We were good friends. But she's rather irritating. Couldn't stand her. Even Ani can't stand her. But in a way...she's a good friend.

Well, I could remember part of my childhood days. I might not be smart or beautiful but I had a big circle of friends. I was closer to my cousins, especially the guys. That's why I have more guyfriends than girlfriends. Now, everything's changed. Everyone change. All of us are more engrossed with our own lives. Like I said, I don't have time to talk about girly stuffs anymore. Most of us are in our early 20s. I don't know when we all will meet again. PLay cards. Tell ghost stories. Play masak-masak. PLay kahwin-kahwin. Haha...

Life's been good for me at this age. Though it's emotionally tough...but I'm still holding on...

QueenLiyn@20:10

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Am I high maintenance?

Am You High Maintenance?

Material Upkeep
Maybe you're self-sufficient and practical, or maybe you're just slightly unkempt. Either way, you tend to think that top-of-the-line products are unnecessary and excessive, and you don't indulge yourself with more than you need. We think it's safe to say that you don't put much emphasis on the how trendy or high-quality your products and possessions are. You're a firm believer in the philosophy of "less is more."

Emotional Upkeep
You like being a top priority in your partner's life, but you also respect his/her independence — good for you! Sure, it's important for you to feel valued and appreciated in your relationship, but your expectations for your significant other tend to be realistic and attainable. You definitely know how you want to be treated, but you don't think the only fulfilling relationship is one filled with constant doting.

Personal Upkeep
You definitely care about how you present yourself, but probably not enough to let your appearance dictate what you do, where you go, and who you spend time with. Sure, you take pride in your appearance, but you know that some things are more important than looks. That's a great attitude — looks like you've achieved a very healthy balance between narcissism and neglect.

QueenLiyn@00:23

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sakit hati

!@#$%T&(()*)__(&*%&^^$%##@!@!

SAKIT HATI TAU!

Orang tidur lambat...sampai tertidur depan computer buat report malam semalam...skali pergi sekolah pagi tadi, office tak bukak!!!

SAKIT HATI SEH!!

QueenLiyn@13:49

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Abangs

Dozed all the way back from work. SO tired. Today, last day of my suffering. I mean tonight is the last night I touch up on my final report before I hand it in tomorrow. Stupid Joel. Message him never reply.

So, we are graduating soon. Everyone is already planning on what they are going to do after graduation. Some of my girlfriends want to study overseas. Some want to stay and study in the local university. Some want to work. Whereas my guyfriends prepare for NS in this coming June...

Me? I'm stuck in the crossroads. Don't know where to head. Studies or work...I'm unsure. Yes, I'd submitted documents to the local universities but I'm not confident about entering. I just feel that I'm not good enough, compared to others, to enter. Now, I should be trying hard and finding ways to enter a university...but I'm not doing anything. The thing is that I leave everything to fate. Well, I don't want to mess things up. I am more focused on the present rather than the future. Cause whatever I achieve now, will determine my future.

I'm rather scared about the future cause I don't know what I've gotta face. I'm scared that I will fall again. Now, some things in my life are falling whereas some are building up. I'm not doing anything to build up the things in my life that are falling now, cause I know I still have the strength and capability to restartagain. I concentrate more on those things that are building up in my life as they are the things that I refused to let them fall.

Haiz...why do I sound so serious...

Too pressurized...need some air. Need a breather. Need some fun. Anyone can give me fun? Oh ya...hopefully I see Abang Zul this Sunday. Long time never see him. Wonder whether he gain weight or not. Hah...that's a joke...he can never be fat.

Talking about Abang right...You know, I've been wishing that I'm not born the eldest. I wish I have an older brother. I wish I have someone to call ABANG. All my abang sedare tak guna. I mean they approached me before, or even offered to protect me ...whatever...but it never felt like my own flesh and blood. Even Hussin, whose like a month older than me and my own flesh and blood...is more like my friend rather than my abang. Kalau ada abang...mesti ada future kakak-in-law. Kan best. Like Abang Zul, he told me that he and his girlfriend already planned the year they are getting engaged. Of course I'm happy cause he's happy. But don't expect me to call her kakak...she don't qualify as one. Imagine calling someone whose 3 years younger than you, kakak. To make things worst...she's a qualified minah...LOL!

I'm so bad....Hahaha...well...to girls out there....If you have an older brother or two or no matter how many you have... Appreciate them. They are the ones who'll help you through in the future when you have problems. They are the ones who provide you all the security you need.

Haiz..

Report. Report. Report....

QueenLiyn@19:35

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Bloated

My stomach feels so bloated now. I am like a puffer fish. Haha.....Ate a lot...Couldn't help it cause I was DAMN hungry.....

Well, today at work was as per usual. A little bit too free. Finished all my work. Hah...Burned everything that I ate during lunch. Walked around a lot. The amazing things was that I could file in one whole thick stack of QC reports in 20 minutes!

I am so glad that I passed my Basic Theory....

Haiz...too tired to type

QueenLiyn@23:53

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Chemicals...

Still working on my report. Been sleeping late for the past few nights. Urghh....now...then there's more progress. Aim to finish another 2 sections tonight before I bunk in.

*sighs*

Well, work today was rather busy. As expected, according to the schedule, there would be a lot of QC samples coming in. But at the end of the day I achieved something. I managed to finish up all of my wet work so that I am left with only paperwork tomorrow morning.

Something happened to me early this morning. I was re-analyzing all the retain samples' densities when I accidentally knocked onto one of the retained samples and half of it splashed onto my body. The F-word came out of my mouth and everybody looked. It took everyone some time to react. I quickly stripped off everything...more specifically..my lab coat, gloves and goggles and ran to the toilet. SOme of the chemicals got onto my jeans and my safety boots. Lucky for me, it didn't splash onto the top part of my body cause lesser protection and thank God it didn't make contact with my bare skin!

I've got lotsa experiences with chemicals coming into contact with my bare skin for the past few months. That's why there are light black spots on my arms. I know how it feels to get acid as corrosive as sulphuric acid splash onto my skin even though it's only a small lil dot. I know what's the effect of hydrogen peroxide when it got onto my skin. That was damn worst... Well, there were minor ones...just a lil itch here and there...

Other than making contact with my skin, there was also inhalation. I remembered once when I was preparing EDTA. The content of EDTA consists mainly of ammonia. I was damn stupid enough to pour the solution outside of the fume hood. I got choked by the strong ammonia fume. You know...nobody loves ammonia smell. And it's not as mild as the ammonia you smelt in the secondary school chemistry lab. This ammonia smell can stick to your clothings if you handle it for too long. Other than ammonia, there was also hydrochloric acid...with it's fumes. And not forgetting nitric acid and smelly acetic acid. The only smelly chemical that I enjoy smelling is ethyl acetate. It smells like superglue...hehehehe...

Well, this is work...Accidents happen. THe main thing is that, we should know how to handle these situations.

Haiz....while I was busy preparing for CVS, he messaged. I was rather surprised cause I actually planned to message him during lunch time. Luckily...I didn't lose my focus. Hahaha...but in one of my bad days like this...I'm glad that he messaged. He lights up my day...

Oklah...have to continue with my report....Nitez everyone...

QueenLiyn@23:31

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A deadline...

Finally got the time to blog....Just finished preparing my lunch tomorrow. Stewed something healthy and vegetarian. Decided to eat it with rice cause I've been lacking of energy this past few days and I've been resorting to eating in between meals. So, I might as well take in some carbohydrates.

Now I feel fat...Urghh...

Been working on my report since just now. Still not progressing that much. I was more worried about how the report looks like rather than what the report contains. Hah...I kept adjusting the paragraphs for an hour before I could write about another equipment.

Have a deadline to meet, so I have to focus on my report. To prevent me from straying into the virtual world, I plugged off everything from my laptop and dragged my laptop to the dining room. There, I felt safer and more at ease, without any distraction.

ANyways, work today, basically sucks. I'm task-hopping. One time, do this...the another time...do that. It's not for fun...it's because at one time, I'm bombarded with lotsa problems. All that stupid density problems and even the new boss...basically sucks...I don't know what he really wants...

YAWNZ....

Better get back into doing my report....before I fall asleep...

QueenLiyn@23:49

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Just A Normal Day....

Juz finished cooking dinner. Cooked asam pedas ikan kerisi. I love to cook it hot and real spicy. Kalau tak pedas...takde power! Mama said that it's okay...which means that it's up to standard...YaY!

Hah...

Well...overslept today. Got up an hour late. I was woken up by my irritating alarm clock at 6.30am but I went back to sleep. Rushed like hell when I opened my eyes and saw sunlight. But thank God, when I barged into my parents room, I still saw Abah snoring away. He was also late for work... Abah sent me to work and the receptionist mistaken him as my boyfriend. Haha...told her...how can my boyfriend look so old?

Wah...I wish my dearest can send me to work eh....Fat hope...Hahahah!

Ok...work today was okay. Drowned by lots and lotsa things. My head felt like exploding since lunchtime till I reached home. I had to solve a lot of problems especially with the stupid CVS. I couldn't even talk properly cause I barely hear anyone and even myself. Wanted to go and take my medicine, which I carry everywhere I go, but I just don't have the time to sit down and take a breather.

Thank God...my attachment is ending soon. But my suffering isn't going to end so soon. I don't really call it suffering lah. It's what I really want to do and love to do. Though things might be frustrating and tough but...I learn how to be patient and tolerant. On the other hand, I can lose a lot of weight!

Talking about weight...my BMI that was 26 last December, dropped to 23 last weekend. Woo...hahahah....I don't know what I did. Worked too hard I guess. But I do stuff myself with junk food...only I lack of vitamins, minerals and especially carbo. SO, it's not surprising if I faint...

Like Mama said...I'm killing myself. Maybe it's true. But to me...it's for a good change... Though I've gotta dump most of my blouses in my wardrobe and tailor some of my kebayas, losing weight will actually benefit me a lot...

Damn a lot...

Haiz...I feel like sleeping now. I know I know......I've gotta do my report. My report is still on the top of my pending list. This Saturday I have hand it in. Haiz...this makes me soooo SIAN....

QueenLiyn@21:48

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Won...

Didn't talk much today. I spend almost the whole day inside my room. Didn't hang around in the Net for that long cause nobody to chat with and there's nothing I can do here. Most of the time, I watched TV in my room while pasting photos of me and him in a photo album. We took many photos together that we can open a portfolio. LOL...

Argued with my brother just now about spending time with our own loved ones. He thinks he knows everything. He said that everytime I go out there's always money being involved and it would be for hours. So...the only thing I asked my brother was that...would he be able to survive not messaging his girlfriend or even calling her for even one day?

And well, as I expected, his answer was a no. And I said...there you go. The point that I'm trying to send to him is that, he spends more time with his girlfriend than I do with my boyfriend. Furthermore, I don't go out with him everyday or even message him everyday. So, what's wrong with spending extra time to catch up with him? What my brother does on every date with his girlfriend is to talk and talk and talk for 2 hours. My answer was...talking can be done any other time via the phone or the Net...but spending time together, doing what we like or whatsoever, is more like a date. ANd what's wrong with spending money? It's not as if we are spending in BIG amounts....

Well, this case is closed...Couldn't believe that I won the argument. Normally, I would lose cause I've been rather weak in defending myself. Hmm...I'm so proud of myself...WAHAHAH!

Though I've been quiet today except for the argument that I had with my bro, I've been thinking. I'm thinking of him. Hahaha...don't know why but....I just love spending time with him...that's all... And I could never get enough of it...

LOL...

Oklah...I guess I'm bunking in. Tomorrow is gonna be another blue day for me........*sighs*

QueenLiyn@23:56

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Unwritten

My final report. Not progressing. Haha...I just can't keep my mind straight. It's been a long time since I've writtened a 5000 words report. Now I only wrote 1171 words. Haha...but I want my report to be a blast. Hopefully... I've gotta finish at least 4/5 of the report so that the next few days, I only have to touch up.

Ohh...tomorrow is another new week for me. I know I have to start on my gravity cell analysis first in the morning cause I've not been doing it for the past few days. I don't like to do gravity cell cause my analysis will normally fail, and I would get frustrated. It's normal to get frustrated when doing laboratory work. When our analysis fail...we have to repeat and repeat it until we got the results that we desired. It's especially frustrating when the analysis involves many steps.

Anyways...I just can't stop listening to Natasha Bedingfield's song, Unwritten. Kept repeating the song over and over again. Abah said that I'm crazy cause I kept listening to the same song the whole day. I don't know why...but the lyrics are so meaningful...

This is part of the lyrics....

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

QueenLiyn@13:23

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My falls

Thinking about my childhood days....I will just laugh at myself. You know how come my lips are very thick like a nigger's lips? That's because my lips were always the victim to every fall, trips and hits that I had when I was very very young.

I can fly down the stairs, just like that. I can even roll down the escalator. I was a supergirl. And the only parts that was injured were my lips and my legs. I could even remember once when we were still staying at our old flat. I was coming from my mom's room to head to my room whereas my brother was from our room to enter my mom's room. Know what happened...? We were running and guess what....we bumped onto each other and our heads hit each other's lips! Wah sey...imagine how our lips looked like after that. My brother cried like a baby whereas I blamed him for making my lips bled and swell.

The escalator becomes one of my phobias since I was young. Abah still like to disturb me whenever we ride the escalator. I am scared of the escalator cause I had a bad fall there once. I can never imagine myself falling that badly now.

Other than my falls, I even ended having 3 operations. And it's always on my neck. I don't even dare to touch or scrub or even scratch my neck...until now. Even though the wound is an old-old time wound, I'm still scared that the wound will open. I remembered one day, when I woke up for Hari Raya, I had a BIG lump on my throat like an Adam's apple. It was painful. Visited my family doctor and I had surgery on the spot. My second operation was when I was 11. This time, I was sent to Mt. Elizabeth for an official removal of the clot. That's why there's a scar on my throat. My last op was when I was in secondary school and black bubbles were growing on my neck. They were small blood clots. Luckily it was the school hols cause I don't want to go back to school with a big plaster on my neck.

It's embarrassing you know....Now the most delicate part of my body, is my neck. I dare not touch it. Though the scar is almost gone, I still dare not touch it.

There will be more operations coming in the future...I know. Hah...being a female...I can never run away from pregnancy and everything else.

That's why, I always believe that women are the much more stronger gender than the men cause they go through so much more than men...

QueenLiyn@14:06

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Strutting...

Stepped into the house like around 2310hrs. Was out the whole day. Not actually out as in go out having fun. My day started as per normal....Work at 8.30am....and ended at 5.30pm.

Went for my basic theory test at Bukit Batok Driving Centre. My heart nearly popped out when I was doing the paper. I never felt that nervous since a very very long time ago. Don't know how to describe the feeling but I could feel all my goosebumps standing up... But there's a high chance that I would pass. I don't know...but hopefully...I can move on to my final theory...

After the test...I went to eat dinner with him at IMM. It's been a long long time since I spend my time with him. There'll be more times with him...once I get my freedom back. Hehehe.... We'll go to the driving range together once I get my freedom back again...okay? Anyways, we took photos again with my digi-cam. Tonight's photos can become our photo portfolio as we took turns to snap photos at different angles with different expressions...and we had our first full-length photo taken....

You know...I'm shorter than him...

Nevermind...it's better that I'm shorter than him...it is supposed to be that way...And well, honestly, I want it that way...

Haha...oklah...still have to wake up early tomorrow morning. Will be going out to Bukit Batok...so Ciao and Sweet Dreamz...

QueenLiyn@23:53

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Sucky day...

Had a rather hard time at work today. It was as if I was doing the 2.4km run. Stamina was at the lowest. I know I just had to sit down but never got the chance to...

My butt hurts. My head hurts. Everywhere also hurts.

Maybe I'm just too tired. Today, I was like a crazy horse at work. Sanmina Malaysia samples came in and there were lots and lots and lots of different types of analysis to do. I had to start with the auto-titrator first. Finished everything...I then, prepare the samples to analyze using the AAS. The CVS was another thing. Wahlau...things suck today. By the time it was 4pm, I got sick and tired of doing all the analysis...so, I washed the glassware. Walked one whole round around the lab....came in...then I kept doing the same thing over and over again.

Haha....I became crazy for the rest of the day. Didn't do gravity cell today. Lazylah... And Molex came in, early in the morning. It's been a chore every week to do Molex...and I actually called it my Ribena samples... I called it Ribena cause when I mixed the samples with acetic acid, sodium hydroxide, sodium acetate and deionized water....it changed into a Ribena coloured solution... Don't really enjoy doing Molex cause there's a lot of titration involved....

Enough about work...

Tomorrow is my Basic Theory Test. Don't know what to expect. To say that I'm confident of passing...I'm not that confident. To say that I will surely fail the test...I studied the whole book like 5 times already...But...hopefully I'll pass. They say that it's easy. Doesn't mean easy...I can do... *thinks*

Well...something to look forward to, tomorrow night. I'm meeting him for dinner after my test. It's been like almost a month since we met. You know, I can't stand waiting for 4th April to come when I will be meeting him in school. Can't wait that long....*laughs*... It's like 3 more weeks to go ...I know I can't stand that long till 4th April...

Geez...in an hour...I've gotta go to the mosque for my weekly religious class. I can gurantee you that I'll sleep in the class. I'm so tired. Though listening to stories told by the Ustazah is fun, but with no hands-on, I'll definitely sleep. That's why..I will never do well for theory papers....heheheh....

Oklah...I want to take a nap now...so..Ciao!

QueenLiyn@19:34

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So much to say...

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it from that time when he wanted to buy me lunch. All those things like staring at me from far...secret glances and even the way he talked to me...freaked me out. But honestly, I'm flattered...

Hee...Thanks but no thanks. His pick-up lines were good but not good enough for me to fall for it. I'm a one-guy-kind-of-girl. I only love my dearest...*grins*..

Okay...work today was as per usual. Only that my butt hurts like hell, maybe because I walked here and there listlessly...Hahahaha... Today, I forget things easily. There were too many things to do. And there were so many things lying around, especially at the back of the lab cause Jing Ping is carrying out a project on plating. Tech Service is building up. You can see the amount of pending samples on the shelves for me to attend to. Chrome came in and I grumbled. I'm bored of doing chrome.

Now I don't know what I love to do in the lab. Probably, QC, cause I get to send it out to the production area and I can torture certain people. Hahaha! CVS sucks cause the new CVS is down and sent for repair and we had to use the old-fashioned CVS. Dammit! I got confused to when and where I need to transfer the tubes. It's all manually done...and I really hate it!

My butt still hurts...urgh...

Got off the phone with Gary just now, who called me to dig some information from me. Exchanged information. If he can tell me things...why won't I trust him with not-to-be-told information. Don't knowlah whether the others asked him to ask me because he's the closest to me...Yaa...I know a lot of things...a lot of lubang...Hahaha...but it's up to me whether I want to tell you or not... So...Gary just couldn't stop talking and talking...and talking... The thing is that he's no longer a "pai-ka". He can walk, jump and jog again! LOL...

Today, while on my way home, I observed all the women around me and the way they walked. They all walked with swinging arms. It's rather irritating when their arms hit you at the wrong places. I don't swing my arms while I walked anymore. That's because there was this incident like 4 years ago...that actually stopped me from swinging my arms and sticking my arms by my side whenever I walk. It was so damn embarrassing and unsophisticated!!!!

Anyways, last night, I had the weirdest dream. It was like as if I'm living a day of my life. It wasn't routine...but I know that dream sucks. It was ugly. I was...urm...back to how I looked like a year ago... A year ago I had damaged hair. Permed my hair. The whole length was damaged. And to make things worst I kept changing shampoos... Oh God...imagine how I looked like a year ago. Hahahaha! Thank God, I've got the money to treat my hair late last year and trimmed it to a bop...Now it's well-taken care of.

Well...I admit I'm self-conscious...I don't know why...but I guess I've been like that since young...

Haiz...so much more to say...but I don't want to bore you people...so...

For now...Ciao...and Sweet Dreams!

QueenLiyn@23:15

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Chey...

Got a hella headache now. The back of my neck hurts the most. Don't know why. Maybe occupied myself with too many things today at work...

All the pressure's on me as well as Steph. We were glad when the day ended. I had to do all the QC samples which just kept coming in. Stupid Patrick. Oh ya...do you know that Patrick is no longer my boss? He swapped places with the manufacturing boss and now Amos is my new boss. Patrick was so disorganized that the QC samples to be manufactured ain't according to schedule. Today...was the worst! I had don't-know-how many samples to do at one go...

Nevermind...Tolerance is the best policy at work..heh heh...

Well, I'm guilty of something. Guilty of eating popcorn chicken from KFC just now. After work, me and Steph went to KFC to buy some food cause we were really hungry. Now I wish I could eat one whole tub of Haagen Daaz ice-cream without even gaining a pound. I just wish that I could indulge in Pistachio flavored Haagen Daaz ice-cream. It's my most favourite flavor of ice-cream....Yummmm....But dammit...I can't afford to gain any more pounds....and I can't afford to waste money on a tub of ice-cream...

Doing my report now. I am very funny. SInce the time I wrote my 85 pages report for my final project, I realized that writing one section of it would take me hours to be satisfied with it. I will stare at the screen and read it over and over again until I'm totally satisfied with what I wrote. I'm doing the same thing to this report now. I took days to write one section. Hahaha...! I just started on the first section of Job Description....I'm sooo slow...

Yaaa...sooooooo slow...

Oklah...have to put my whole attention on my report before he comes online. Hehe.....

QueenLiyn@20:27

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My biggest regret...

You know...day after day, I see Syahirah becoming more and more like me. Last time, I only thought that we have the same faces as we have the same hairstyle. Now, I see my past in her whereas she sees her future in me.

We are two girls with the same thinking but having two different split personalities.

I remembered myself being 14, 6 years ago. I was young, wild and immature. I fell for that guy since secondary one and he ended up as my classmate in secondary two. I never thought of him being my boyfriend. I never even care for him. Those 3 golden words never came out of me. All I know was that, he's the guy that I fell in love with at first sight. In a matter of months, I lost him to another girl.

Of course I was disappointed but not to the point of depression. But I was angry. In Sec 2, every morning, I would go to my bestfriend's class to sit and talk and to go flag-raising ceremony with Sukhairen together. It happened right in front of my eyes one morning, in that classroom. Unfortunately, the girl was from that class. The funny thing was that I just sat there and watched but I know my heart was ranting and ranting. I only broke down at home. Everyone was happy for him and even I, smiled at him.

But I know I wasn't a least bit happy. Being young and immature, of course, I would want him back. I never thought of where I go wrong. All I know was that I hated him. I hated him so damn much that I called him a yellow-minded big-teethed monster. To me, till now, no matter how much he has changed, in my eyes, he's still a yellow-minded big-teethed monster. He's just a friend to me now and I thought I would love him forever...

LOL...So, peeps who know me since secondary school thought that I love this guy like since forever. Hah...I managed to fool them all...making them believe that I still like him even when I was in secondary 4. I'm not stupid okay. I know he ain't good.

And as I think back again when I was in secondary 2, I actually walked into the class of the guy whom I love now, almost every morning. I always walked in front of him...or past him...or even sat behind him...but I barely noticed him. Cause last time...hahaha...he's so short...hahha...ok... that wasn't the reason. I just don't know him. I only know his name and that he belongs to the bisu club...

Hahaha...I'm so bad....I'm so so bad....

LOL...

The thing is that Syahirah...there are better guys out there. Like I always tell you...expect the unexpected. Like me...I don't know what to say. I gave all my close friends the shock of their lives. Or to be exact, the both of us gave our friends their shock of their lives. Cause what I told them last time, doesn't mean it's really true. I might be talking the total opposite of everyting!

You see your future in me. And I see my past in you. You might see me as your role model. But never follow in my footsteps. I took the wrong path when I was your age. I should not be in an Art class. I should be doing triple science or double maths. Although I got top 40 in the whole of sec 2 express but I wasn't good enough to be in a science class...

My BIGGEST regret. I regretted okay. I shouldn't be doing chemical engineering...I should be in the course of my dreams or even be in a junior college. But darn....thinking the positive way, I wouldn't have met him if I wasn't in an Art class. I wouldn't be that close to my bestfriend if I'm not in the Art class. And I wouldn't have the most fun in secondary school if I wasn't in that Art class!

I learn from my mistakes. Prioritise the most important first. Though there might be temptations around...but Syahirah, let's say this guy goes with you to the next chapter of your life, take your chances then. But for now....make your folks proud...

QueenLiyn@20:07

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Sian...

I know it's wrong to lie. But sometimes when you want something badly, you have to go to extremes. Taught Syahirah to tell a white lie. I know that I'm supposed to teach her good things...not bad things but it's just a harmless little white lie.

Stayed at home for the whole day. Managed to do part of my report. Not too badlah. I'm half-way through. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish it on time.

Tomorrow's gonna be another new week. Haiz...I wish I'm in school. Can relax and do whatever I want....

Haiz...sian.....

Another week with nothing to look forward to except for my Basic Theory Test next Friday evening...hopefully I can do it....

Oklah...I sound very sian now...soo Ciao!

QueenLiyn@19:36

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Materialism...

Today turns out to be good and bad.

We went out for half of the day to celebrate my father's 46th birthday and to shop.

First stop was to Grand Hyatt Hotel. We ate our lunch at the Straits Kitchen. The food were all so damn delicious! You see, I love to eat seafood and I took 2 plates of cockles.... I didn't eat much cause I didn't even eat rice or noodle cause if I eat too much carbo, I know I'll gain a lot of weight. Burned whatever I ate with 2 cups of lime juice...

Unfortunately, something happened to me after lunch. Normally, I would be fine even after a BIG meal. I would feel full or bloated but I would never feel like throwing up. But just now, something made me realized what I've been doing to my body. The thing is that, I don't eat much. I mean my diet has its limits. I've been on very strict and low carbo diets for months.

I know it's wrong to restrict my body but being me, I'm very stubborn. So just now, after lunch, my stomach was so hard and bloated...that I had to open the button of my pants. I couldn't walk. I was turning pale. My stomach was in damn pain and I could feel the gastric juice at the back of my tongue. I thought I ate too much and went over the limits. I thought the pain would go away after I applied ointment to my bloated stomach.

I was wrong. On our way to John Little, I just couldn't take it anymore. Water came out of my mouth. Not saliva. I could feel all the water coming out from my stomach. Mama tried to hold me while walking cause I was walking like a drunk man. Before going into John Little, everything came out. It was poison plus acid. It wasn't normal as it was bubbling. DAMN! I never know that I'm destroying my own health fast. Mama said that that's a sign to warn me to take care of my stomach. Poison came out because I ate that half-cooked cockles. It wasn't accepted by my body. Acid came out because I ate too much. I've been dieting and normally I eat only half a plate but just now, it was 5 plates....so...my stomach couldn't take it...

A lesson learn... It was torturing ok....once is enough..

Anyway, we went to John Little as there's a big sale going on there. Bought 4 pieces of lingerie and a pair of shoes. Hah....Mama asked me why I want to buy nice-nice lingerie cause who am I going to show. That's true....but I told her that I couldn't help it cause they look nice.

After that we head off to Suntec City's Carrefour....too many people...no mood to buy anything...

We then stopped by at Paya Lebar's Singapore Post to shop at the huge This Fashion retail shop there. I bought a corset and 2 new pants, a stripe black pants and a brown one. Never thought that I could ever fit in anything from This Fashion. I have to buy new pants cause all my pants are oversized and I need new ones so that I can wear them during formal occassions like my upcoming presentation and also my graduation. I could also wear them when I go out instead of jeans. On the other hand, I bought a corset to wear with my kebayas.

Well, I looked like a minah...very minah when I wear those pants. When you all see me during my presentation day, then you all will know. Hahaha...nevermind lah...just a change in style. As long as I don't act and be like them...it's okay... Only that, I know I will never fit in those pants if I gain weight.

We ate dinner at a coffee shop near Sultan Mosque. After that, we dropped by at Mustapha Centre cause Mama wanted to buy shoes and she bought 2 pairs of them.....

Ended the day with happiness, although my stomach still hurts. But forget about that...I got a lot of new things...hehehehe....

Haiz...so much of materialism and everything in my life...hahaha...well, it has been a part of my life for a very long time. I got the habit to go for sprees since I was in sec 4. Shopping sprees happened when I'm unhappy, pressurized and in need of something to punch. The only thing I punch is my PIN number. It's rather hard to kick the habit of spending cause there's nothing else to do except that. Normally when I feel unhappy or pressurized, I would eat and eat and eat. But I've kicked that habit a long time ago cause even when I eat, I spend a lot as I seek comfort in expensive food and it just makes me fat.

Spending is just like quenching my thirst with something sweet. Though it's a pain in the pocket, but I manage to satisfy my desires. Hey, spending is not my only desire okay. I've got lotsa more desires but prefer to keep them all to myself....

Ok...so tomorrow...I'll be bunking at home in front of my laptop, writing my final report. I've gotta send it earlier cause I won't be in Singapore during the deadline. It's the only thing I worry about now. I don't know whether I would be able to write a good report. But hopefully, it will turn out fine...

Haiz...Miss him a lot but studies come first....

Well..nothing more to say....so Ciao...

QueenLiyn@23:23

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Black...

Started the day with a black mood. There were black clouds on top of my head in the morning. Today, is the wettest day of the month. And the pain... was damn excruciating! Even when he messaged me, my morning was still dimmed by the black clouds. The pain was still there...

I wasn't in the mood for everything. Kick this. Kick that. What the hell. Analysis failed. Fark.

AIyah...lazy to write lah....

Ciao...

QueenLiyn@23:49

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At timez...

SOmetimes I've just got that funny feeling.

Macam kelakar lah gitu.

At work, I was okay cause I fill my time with things and people around me.

But once, I'm free of work...other things just kept flying to me. Don't want to think too much about it. Talked to my mom about it. She asked me questions but I still said I don't know why I'm feeling that way. Most of the time I'll just shook that feeling off. No point thinking too much.

That only feeling is...

Insecurity....

(From Annisha's blog....)
"Ya Allah, kau duga hambaMu ini dengan perasaan cinta dan rindu terhadap seorang lagi hambaMu. Ya Allah, hambaMu ini lemah, tidak dapat lagi menahan rasa rindu di hati..."

QueenLiyn@22:45

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What's love got to do with everything else?

First things first...I M SOOOO HAPPY FOR SYAHIRAH...

Wahahaha!! Great job done, Liyana...

Hehehe....Syahirah got what she wanted. She wanted to be with that guy. And she got him. *grins* And all thanks to her love psychiatrist.

ANytime for my lil sister. Yes, I called him a 101% jerk once, cause he hung up on her. Now, he knows how she felt about him...wooaaa....those things he said were so damn sweet and touching. But a lil bit immature actually. Hahahah!

She cried and nearly gave up when he hung up on her. THat feeling of rejection...was..urm... terrible to overcome. But then, she told me that she can never stop loving him and there's only one guy in her heart. She sounded so familiar...that well...I guess...I have to help. Told her not to give up and keep trying. She did. And I'm glad that she took all my advice.

She was damn bold for a used-to-be quiet and gentle girl. She will grow up to be like me but lesser ego and personality. I used to be quiet also and very conservative. It's because of my guy friends...I turn into someone bold.

Our parents don't know that being girls, we do these things. Girls are supposed to be quiet and gentle not...like us... But truthfully speaking...girl power RULEZ!!! Hehehe...

So my sisters all get their guys except for Juni...who's still pending. Heh...Kebanyakan semua typical Mat Melayu seh. Not like mine...not a typical Mat. LOL...*stucks her tongue out*

You know what...I love him...nothing can change that...

*grins*

QueenLiyn@19:49

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Ape??

Blogging again...

Supposed to be doing my report but I'm too lazy to do it...

This Saturday is Abah's birthday. DOn't know what to buy for him. Me and my brother jokingly wanted to buy for him an "attached" ring so that there's a symbol of marriage on him. But Abah just don't wear jewellery.

Honestly speaking, when it comes to a guy's or a man's or just the opposite sex birthday, I don't know what to buy. The easiest thing to think of is a cake or a shirt. Other than that, don't ask me.

Tsk...I just don't know lah...

Mama cakap aku kudut???? And she said that I look better like this. I was like saying..."WHAT???!!!" I was almost 80kg that time...okay... Just couldn't help saying this cause she's been forcing me to eat. Eat and eat and eat and eat. Now you see my stomach so BIG! Been eating rice for dinner for the past few days. Normally, I skip dinner but it seems that when I want to tell Mama that I don't want to eat, it's too late cause she already cook!

But today, I ate one whole packet of Milo Nuggets that Rausyan, Syahirah's brother, gave to me. Ler...I know chocolate is fattening but...what can I do? Takleh resist...especially when it's the time of the month again!!!!

Heh...so now you know what's the cause of my mood swings....

Well...I'm officially close for tonight. Have a good night's sleep people...

QueenLiyn@23:24

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Goyang Goyang

Today, I shake my leg a lot at work. In the morning, I was already messaging through MSN via my handphone and I was busy chatting with my dearest bestfriend. Heh....she shook me off very easily you know...by asking me to go and message him. Hahaha and I did!

I didn't do many wet lab work today. But I did something new. First, I learn how to analyze a sample from APS, a solution used for wafer fabrication, using the CVS. Then, towards the end of the day, Patrick gave me an assignment. He gave me a list of ingredients and I have to cook it. It's not cook as in cook food. But cook as in making up a production sample. So, I put myself in the shoes of a production guy. Retrieved all the raw materials from the manufacturing site, weigh them, dissolve them and then, began to cook.

Woah...I never knew that I was that good. Even without tasting, I know that the solution was made-up perfectly. Hah...we'll see tomorrow when I carry out QC analysis on it.

Know what, I was like a damsel in distress today. Truthfully speaking, I wasn't. That guy just assumed that I was weak! It was so embarrassing when people or especially guys, think that I'm weak. I think, that guy paisei already when he got to know that I already opened 2 carboyls without any difficulties. Hey! I'm not weak okay...

And ya...today me and Steph did it again! Oops! We did it again... Hehe...we became peeping tombs. Not that type of peeping tombs. We were actually peeping at the Sarwar brothers smoking outside the lab. We nearly got caught by the younger Sarwar brother...Hah..they are rather cute. Steph and me never come to a conclusion to whom is cuter. She said the older one is cuter whereas I said the younger one is cuter. DO you know that the younger Sarwar brother is the prince, and the prince is Asli...hahaha...!! And do you know that from his side-view...he looks like my dearest? So...cannot blame me...he just reminds me of the guy whom I love...

LOL...really...no kidding! Photo? Gile nak mampus ke ape?

Woah...I sound so vulgar!

Hehe...I just can't stop blabbering... I just bought for myself a new bag. Decided to replace my orangey-bag with a more GURLY bag...*sulks*....No choice...there's no other nicer one. Bought an OP bag. Dark blue in colour with flowers on it. Actually not badlah..it's just that...I am not so gurly...

Oklah...for now I'll ciao...Sayonara!

QueenLiyn@19:37

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WHY???

Brought my digicam to work today. Purpose - to take photos of equipments and processes for my final report. After taking everything that's required. I started snapping pictures of things from weird places...like my locker....want to see?

1. My lunch bag where I keep my fork and spoon, bowl, plates and tupperware...
2. My sweater which I love to smell everyday...hehehehehe....
3. The bag that I brought for today....
4. My organizer..(click the link if you want to see the contents of 2 weeks ago)
5. My cup of love...normally I drink tea...
6. My Mentos Chewing gum...to refresh my breath in the morning and after lunch everyday...
7. My face cleanser and moisturizer..
8. A box containing my safety boots..
9. Maggi Mee..Prawn flavored..
10. My hanging face towel...

The truth is...my locker's in a mess...hahahaha...!!

I think too much today. Think too much until I don't have the mood to do any wet work in the lab. I decided to sit in front of the comp and do the lab instruction manuals. I was thinking about my final report. I haven't even start anything yet and I have less than a month to complete it. Not a single thing I did except for taking the photos. I was thinking on when I want to start on it. How I'm going to hand it in. I can't afford to take leave anymore. All those things lah...

And I'm having a migraine now. Negotiated with my mom. Told her I can't afford to be doing everything at home everyday and my work is still untouched. My work is much more important. Do you know how my life is everyday at home? Came home from work. Rest. Shower. Pray. Cook and prepare dinner. Do the dishes. Iron the clothes. Do the laundry. Prepare lunch for the next day. By the time I want to do my work, I'm too tired. This process is repeated every single day.

What the hell? I can't do that anymore. I'm not a housewife or anything like that. I don't want to be a housewife. I'm glad to be home after a hectic day at work...but I'm not glad to do those things at home. You know...I don't have a life..that's enough already. DOn't make it a chore for me to live everyday!

I have 2 brothers and a father...can't they at least help. It's like as if me and my mom live alone in the house with lotsa things to do! I can't do it anymore...that's why I can't take the responsibility to be a houswife...

I know I would be called a lazy bum if I don't do these things. Or hard-hearted. Or attitude problem.

But think...have I asked for anything???

QueenLiyn@19:34

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