ignorance.is.a.feminine.virtue

My Passion

Was blog hopping and I left some new year wishes and cute remarks on their tag-boards. Glad to know that everyone seems happy.

So, I was watching MJ's 30th Anniversary on cable just now. Reminded me of my younger days when my passion was music. I used to play the piano and the organ. And most of the music I played on the organ were MJ's songs, like Billie Jean and Smooth Criminal. Hmmm...I lost that passion when I entered secondary school cause my folks refused to send me to music school. *frowns*

Now, I actually tried to retrieve that passion. But my fingers lost their touch and I've forgotten everything! I'm only good at speed-typing now. Hahaha.....my fingers aren't that elegant to play the piano anymore. *frowns*

But an electric guitar sounds nice....hehehe...nolah...just kidding...

Only 1 song rule my year this year. I fell in love with this song one day, while I was watching MTV. I remembered that I gaped and gawked a lot as I watched the video. And I nearly cried as I listened to the lyrics of the song. Hehehehe.... This song actually made me fell in love with the songs sung by the band. This band make good music. Their lyrics....are sooo meaningful. Even the picture in this blog has the lyrics for one of their songs. Yeah... it's Hoobastank.... and their song that will never cease in my mind is "The Reason".....

Listening to Hoobastank's songs actually make me change my genre of music. I was listening to a lot of Beyonce Knowles, Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Atomic Kitten and Sugababes. But when Hoobastank came, I turn to bands like Evanescence, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Maroon 5, The Rasmus and recently, Sum 41 and Simple Plan.

Haiz....I wish music can be a part of my life again....

QueenLiyn@23:23

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No kidding...

Woke up quite late in the morning. Felt funny. That dream feels so real. Don't know how to describe it but I felt it even when I've already woken up. Maybe I think about him too much yesterday....

Hahaha....

Well...he's the first one I message this morning...asking about how to get to the driving centre from home and also telling him about something happy. Hah...definitely not about the dream. HAHAHAHA....

But eventually I didn't go to the driving centre cos my mom said that I should study the book first until I am confident that I know everything, then I go and register. Although I'm halfway through the book already, I agreed with her. So, I'll be registering when my attachment is coming to an end and will only sit for the test after my attachment...

I'm so happpppy for one of my girlfriends. She has finally found a guy suitable for her. Similar interests and everything else. Not a bad looking guy. Kinda okay. A Mat Rocker with a Minah Rocker....HAHAHA.....nice.....all the best to her and hope she'll be happy always with her dearest...hehehehehe

I guess I'll end my entry her for now...will blog again later....

QueenLiyn@15:12

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Year 2005 Resolutions

Glad that I'm not working tomorrow. And I'm glad that tomorrow is the last day of Year 2004. How time flies...and how my life changes....Year 2005 is going to be a new year for me to leave my past behind and start life a new. To cease my anger, revenge and what-nots. To pull down my ego and be less self-obsessive.

A new year with new hopes, goals, surprises and everything else. It's kinda irony that I actually achieved most of my resolutions this year as I never do things by the book.

I followed my instincts. Followed my heart. Cleared my mind. And assured myself that everything's gonna be okay.

There were many bad feelings that I've never felt before. Paranoid. Doubtful. Jealous. Condemned. Played. Cheated. Duped. Lost.

But there were the good times. Floating when I've reached my goals. Being in cloud nine. Love-sick. Embarrassing moments that never ceased from my mind. *giggles*

So...it's time to list down my resolutions for the Year 2005.....

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Resolutions for Year 2005

1. Like usual my grades will come first. I hope I'll achieve that perfect grade for my attachment
and graduate with a merit diploma. Insya-allah

2. To be able to further my studies in a local university as it's my dream to acquire a degree qualification.

3. There are bad habits that I've gotta kick. Like sleeping very late. Like skipping meals just so
I could lose weight. And definitely shopping. Being too self-obsessive....

4. After 19 years of immaturity....and being too dependent, I've gotta learn how to be much
responsible, mature and to stand up on my own feet.

5. Ehem....hopefully me and him will last for a really really long time like how our friendship lasts for years. We have to learn how to give and take. Spend more time with each other. Communicate.
And, probably to let his folks know..........

6. Drop the ego, babe. Drop the ego. Being egoistic will never make me happy.

7. To lose another 15 pounds. Tengah bertekad ni.....

8. I've gotta change my attitude. To be less selfish. To be able to forgive. To be less naggy. To be humble...but still I disagree with that as I've got pride.

9. To observe the restrictions in my religion. At 20, I should have a more religious mentality.
Maybe, lesser short skirts and skimpy tops. Hah...and also to overcome my laziness when it comes to sembahyang.......

10. No more lazy arse. No more procrastination. Entering adulthood soon. The older I get, the
more responsibilities I've gotta fulfill.......................

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And now I welcome Year 2005......

QueenLiyn@23:15

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Still about my tongue...heh

Started the day in silence. I didn't talk much cause I am buried in my thoughts and furthermore, my tongue is still sore. Can you imagine that my brain is somewhere else and at the same time, I'm doing analysis on Molex? No...I didn't make any mistakes. I was rather precised today. I even repeated some analysis to ensure that I didn't make any mistakes...

I was and still am wondering about something. Just can't put my hands on it. Got some enlightenment from Steph just now. Maybe I think too much. But come to think of it, sometimes you wonder why some things happen. I would be lying if I know why, what, when and how. It happened to struck me. That's all. And for every little thing that happen, there's always a reason. Life's a game. It's either you win, lose or get stuck in the middle.

I sound so cheeem.........hehe

Oklah...don't want to talk so cheem anymore. Wasn't able to eat proper meals today cause my tongue is still sore. Didn't talk much. I let everyone and anyone say whatever they want. The most important thing is that, I need to cure my tongue. Been drinking a lot of different types of tea, so that my body is not that heaty.....Aiyah....Pain lah....

Talking about my tongue...he said that I'm crazy to eat pineapples and spicy food when my tongue is already like that. Heh...don't know what to say...

Like always, I will show Steph the photos I took with him. This time, she said that both of us look like siblings! I was like..."What?!"....Hehe....and again...I was left speechless...

Anyway, I've been studying basic theory of driving. Hah...I don't really know anything, so it's gonna take me some time to adsorb. Will be going to the Bt. Batok Driving Centre this Friday to register. Stupid brother...never wait for me to register.... Now I've gotta go alone.........................

Well, gotta do my chores now and gotta prepare my tuna sandwich for lunch tomorrow...soooo CIAO!

QueenLiyn@21:28

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Recapping.....

Pain...urgh...my tongue is in pain!!!

Woah I'm blogging for the third time now.

Hmm....today I spend 7 hours with him. Went to school to hand in my interim report. Too bad Joel wasn't in. Then, we went to the Grassroots Club near NYP to play bowling. Wahaha! I lost to him 1:3....hahahaha...nevermind...he finally "up" his highest score...that's good. My right shoulder was already hurting by the time I played my second game. After bowling, we went to Junction 8..to eat but unfortunately, there's not much choices for us there. Instead, we spent most of our time there at the MPH bookstore, browsing through books. At first, he was browsing golf books and mags whereas I was browsing entertainment mags and a book on "60 tips on how to take care of your skin". After that we went through a book...all about bowling.... interesting... Finally, we had our dinner at Yew Tee....

Haiz...tomorrow is work again. Pity Steph...I kept disturbing her...and kept saying that I'll make her suffer at work again and again. Actually, I didn't mean it. It's just a joke. Wah...she had to take my load when I wasn't at work today. Isk...isk...pity her....but she has to get used to it. Work is not to slack. At least she wasn't alone during lunch...compared to me....when she wasn't around, I had to eat lunch alone...Pooor me... And worst still...it's not only 1 day. Her leave is normally a few days.....Now...Steph knows how I feel when she wasn't around. But not enough to make her feel lonely.

The good thing is that I've only got 3 months to go for attachment. The bad thing is that....I'm going to turn 2-decades in less than 2 months.... Don't want to think about it. I feel so old. But Hussin's gonna be older than me first. Hahahaha...he'll turn 2-decades in like...a week! Hahahaha!

New Year's coming and my resolutions are set. Some are personal whereas most are just normal. I'm going to re-cap this year's resolutions first before going to next year's resolutions.

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Year 2004 Resolutions (made on 29/12/2003 @15:56)
1. To add another A+ or and AD to my report card and also aim to get all A's for my modules.
2. To get my priorities right.
3. To freeze my heart so that I won't love unnecessarily and suffer from depression.
4. To lose at least 10 pounds.
5. To control my diet and stop overcoming stress by eating. There are other ways to de-stress.
6. To control my shopping spree.
7. To be more active in sports and prepare for the upcoming NAPFA test.
8. To be more honest, humble, quiet and mature. To learn how to respect rather than asking for respect!
9. To be more serious as I'm gonna turn 20 very soon....
10. To stop waiting for him cause there are more guys out there. Gotta move on!
11. To start the habit of reading again rather than playing computer games and laze around!
12. To learn to sleep early every night so that there'll not be any black rings under my eyes!

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Looking at the resolutions I made for this year. I've achieved part of it. I achieved resolutions number 1, 2, 4, 5, 9 and definitely 10! Yes, I've stopped waiting for him. Not worthy of my time! But I didn't freeze my heart. I fall into depression earlier this year. But I opened my heart later this year for someone else whose already been in there for quite some time....*wonders to myself on what I'm saying* I still have the bad habit of shopping. I'm more honest and mature but I still lack of humbleness and being quiet. I still can't start reading, even when it's a Sandra Brown book and it should be a thrilling book! And my last resolution, my owl-ness, becomes worst this year. I can survive without sleep for one night...hehehehe....

So, I've gotta change. I've still got a long way to go and an unpredictable future laid in front of me. The only thing that I've gotta do, is to work hard and enjoy life while I can.......

And H...why aren't you smiling in those pics that we took tonight?

QueenLiyn@22:15

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blah...

In exactly an hour, I'll be meeting him at Yew Tee...heheh....

I feel kinda weird now. Actually, very weird. Macam like as if it's my first time going out with him...LOL...

Stupid curfew...Mom gave me curfew till 7pm...and like always I negotiate my way through. I don't want my rest day to become my kelam-kabut day. I just want to let the time pass by so damn slowly....

Will be going to school first...then to The Grassroots Club at Ang Mo Kio...and after that, has yet to be planned....

Hmmm....I guess I'll ciao now.....my tongue's feeling better today.....heehee...

QueenLiyn@13:00

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Nobody's Perfect

It's already 1am and Woohoo...I just finished my interim report. Luckily, the number of words doesn't exceed the maximum. Phew....Only left the printing part and the binding part, which I will do tomorrow.

Waiting for Steph now to finish bathing....that girl always bathe so early in the morning...Haha....

You know, it's funny that mothers want to know about their daughters. What they are doing...what they are thinking...how they are feeling. Normally, fathers are more overprotective. Yeah...my pop is like that. Sometimes, I just leave him speechless when he's trying to overprotect me cause I'm not a little girl anymore. On the other hand, I told my mom almost everything after she read my diary. She knows how I feel about myself. She knows what I think about the people around me. She knows who I love. She knows why I love him. She knows who I hate and why. She knows the people who I condemn. She knows why I condemn people. She knows what I'm thinking. She knows whenever I'm changed. She knows who I want to avoid. She knows my dreams. She knows my goals. And she somehow knows my life story.

She's the one who wants to know every single detail when I'm going out. I've got no choice but to tell the ultimate truth. But sometimes, she lacks understanding when it comes to boys. She don't trust me but she expect me to trust her. But well, I don't know that my mom could be that overprotective and insecure whenever it comes to me. SHe said that I am rather important to her. And I thought my brothers are normally MUCH MORE important. But well, I gave up my dream ambition just to fulfill my responsibilities at home.

That's why I'm rather pampered. But I lack responsibility....and I'm still learning. I also lack of tolerance and patience, that's why the guys in the house always say that I've got PMS. And I've got a very high self-esteem. Pride. Ego. Sometimes, I make people hate me because of my ego and my selfish-ness. The reason why my ego grows as I grow older cause I don't want to be stepped upon by others. I don't want to be looked down. I don't want people to take advantage of me. I don't want to keep giving and never get any back. Cause I've seen a lot. Seen people taking advantage of my mom and that's why I don't want to be like her...except for the fact that I admire her capabilities........ But nobody knows about this....nobody knows why I become so egoistic....I know it's bad and I don't want to have ego. But in this life, nobody's perfect...

QueenLiyn@01:33

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Ulcers...

I'm crying right....no..it's nothing.....just trying to resist the pain of the ulcers on my tongue....

Wasn't able to talk properly for the whole day. Steph called me mute. I was biting my tongue. The ultimate medicine for ulcers in the mouth...is.....acid....no...I mean...pineapples! Yeah...bought honey pineapples on my way home from work. I need to get rid of the ulcers cause it's going to give me bad breath and trouble speaking.

Haiz...nvm...

Steph today so sweet...hehe...we exchanged presents. She gave me a scented candle as a christmas gift whereas I gave her 2 pairs of diamond studs, as a souvenier! And Steph's big night is tonight..heehee....go Vic Theatre wearing Von Dutch!!! HAHAHA...gay colour somemore...LOL! Have fun with your dear...babe!

Oklah...dun wan to blog too long. I need to finish my interim report...so ciao!

QueenLiyn@18:51

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Malacca

I'm so glad that I'm back. For the first time in years, I don't enjoy my holiday except...for the bowling part...

On the first day, we reached Malacca around 12pm and checked into the Orchid Hotel. My mom and me relaxed in the hotel while the guys went for their Friday prayers. I was rather happy cause I can switch on the television, the air-con and my laptop...all at the same time! When the guys came back from the mosque, we went for our lunch at the hotel's cafe. I had a light lunch, a Caesar salad with smoked salmon, cause I think I ate too much before that. And Oh God...the food gave me a rather bad impression of the chef....the dressing of the salad was...erm..toooo salty!!! After lunch, we walked around the neighbourhood for a while and went back to our room to sleep. We had dinner at Pizza Hut...and of course...the food tasted better there! Went to a convenient store nearby and me and my bro borong Clorets chewing gum. Both of us spent over RM10 on the chewing gums! He bought for his gf whereas I bought for myself and H... Later, I started on my interim report when we got back to the hotel. I wasn't able to concentrate cause the report was too boring.... And I already am missing him...and I missed him more when he messaged me that night...that actually distracted me more....Nevermind...heee...at least a lil bit happy....I wasn't able to sleep well on the first night cause it was freezing cold even when the air-con was at the lowest and I buried myself in the blankets!

The second day, we had our breakfast in the hotel's cafe. Satisfactory and cheapskate. Very cheapskate. Expensive but wasn't worth it cause most of the food were like....erm....instant! Ok....after that..we went to Telaga Hang Tuah... And then, we went bowling at Mahkota Parade! That, I like. Brushing up my skills before I go bowling with him on Tuesday. And...HAHAHAHA....I beat my pop....I was...erm...DAMN GOOD! Hahaha! I could STRIKE 3-4 times in a row...hehehehe...my trick? No distraction....We each played 3 games...And after that, we had our lunch at the food court...Not bad... And then, we went shopping! First place me and my mom headed was the shoe store....cheap but...not of good quality. Second place, I headed alone was to my favourite store in that mall, the BIG accessories store. Bought a couple of stuffs for me and Stephanie. Got a hard time choosing until my head hurts...hahahah! Spent over RM10 there.... Met my parents at KAMDAR after that. I bought 2 new blouses, black and red, but not using my money cause I didn't exchange enough to spend for the rest of my time there. Then, I went with my brother to the handcrafts shop outside the mall. Took me a long time to decide whether I want to buy something for him...and finally...I made up my mind to buy him something simple....hmmm...only he'll find out what is it...AFter that, me and my brothers went to stalls which sell handphone covers and I managed to buy a new handphone cover for my phone, a bluish green cover...NICE... Then, me and my mom entered another shoe store and we came out with a new and proper pair of shoes for me...HAHAHA......We went back to the hotel after we had another meal at Kenny Roger's. My brothers slept like a pig whereas me and my parents watched VCD. We then had dinner at the hotel's cafe.....this time...it wasn't that bad. I indulge myself on dessert cause I wanted something sweeet inside my mouth...and urmmm... chocolate tasted nice in my mouth...hehehehe....After dinner, we watched Puteri Gunung Ledang on VCD but I fell asleep before the show even ended....

So...today....I am glad that we are heading home. My mood was at my worst. Fought with my brothers in the morning. Those morons. Had breakfast again at the hotel's cafe...and after that, we checked out. Went to KL to visit my aunt and uncle there. Boring... I was sleeping all the way through with the same music blasting repeatedly in my ears cause I got ulcers all over my mouth....and couldn't talk or eat properly...Even on our way back to Singapore, I was sleeping in the car.

My story sounds fun right. What made me think that I don't enjoy? I am having my PMS...that's why...STEPH!! All your fault...I am a few weeks early...and it's all Steph's fault.... Haha...that's because she's my reference for the time of the month. Very accurate! It mentally prepares me before nature takes it course. But I normally hate it...

Okok....took me abt an hour to finish this entry heh....

Dear arh...I miss you a lot lehz...heheheh....

QueenLiyn@23:29

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D last dae of d week...

Got my first christmas gifts today. From Patrick, Jing Ping and Lay Nah. Patrick gave me a big box of Belgian chocolates. Jing Ping gave me a cute cup with the word "Meow" on it...heh... And Lay Nah gave me a bottle of body gel from The Body Shop.

Thanx guys...but too bad I don't celebrate Christmas...heh..

And after work...we went to celebrate Patrick's birthday. Ate a big cream puff, a woman sized blackforest cake and a quarter of a brownie....At the end of the day, I was feeling dizzy cause everything's so DAMN sweet!!!

Ok....enough about work....Tomorrow NO WORK!!! YaY! I'm going to Malacca early tomorrow morning and maybe will come back on Sunday. Already packed my so-called suitcase...And it's rather heavy because of all of my toiletries and also my Hindustani VCDs...hehe...and I'm definitely bringing my laptop along cause I'll be working on my interim report there...Decided to do a lot of shopping also...hehe...

YaY! Can't wait...

I'm so tired now that I wish I can go to sleep but I'm going out for dinner later...hmm...wonder who's going to belanja this time...Maybe going to Gurame...hehehe....

Soo..I can't wait to go back to school on Tuesday. I want to see the environment there. I miss school a lot, you know. Going to talk to Mr Joel at his office and also maybe visit the co-op...my favourite place in school...hehehe....I still remember the times when Steph and I will stay there browsing through the shelves for as long as 30 minutes! Hahahaha.....And I especially want to see the library....I miss that place most cause....it's where I spend most of my free time in school. H...do you want to eat lunch in school or at home??? *wonders*

Oklah...don't know what else to write....just crapping around here....so for now...I'll make my move...don't bother to read my blog for the next 3 days cause I won't be here....so CIAO!!!

Remember to miss me..peeps! LOL!!!

QueenLiyn@19:06

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Better Mood...

Just finished a page of my interim report. Hahahaha...only wrote the abstract. Took me 30 minutes to think on what to write before I become bored of writing...Hahahaha...

Anyways at work today, I was a little bit clumsy and forgetful. And Steph dropped a pile of pipettes onto the floor...hehehe...PIANG!!! Hahaha....very nice sound of glasses hitting the floor and breaking!

Better mood today. Though a little worried. About my interim report actually. And I exchanged The Sims 2 CD for 5 game CDs....imagine how much The Sims 2 CD cost....Harh! That's why I'm at a better mood....

Syahirah just shared with me something. Something that actually made me a lil bit excited but doesn't affect me much and it rather made an impact to Syahirah. It has to do with the Zul brothers. Told her that if the elder brother come online...she have to tell me so that I would be able to talk to him about life.....I guess I need to talk to him. The way he sounded in the chat log that Syahirah shared with me, is ermmm....I don't know how to explain. It's too bad that I'm not going for the so-called Christmas gathering at Bibik My's house on Saturday as I would be shopping in Malacca....if not I will be able to...well...talk to him...face to face. To settle things ultimately....

Haiz...enough about my past....let's go back to the present. I felt so boliao today cause I messaged him during lunch. I was bored and furthermore I miss talking to him or rather I miss him...so Steph asked me to message him...and Yaa...at the end of it...I felt a lil bit better..

Just can't stop teasing Stephanie. Though she do tease me...but too bad...there's not much effect on me. Hehehehe...the lovebirds. They disturbed me when I was at my lousy mood. Couldn't stand them. So boliao.....LOL!!!

I think I've lost more weight, despite the fact that I do prepare and eat a proper meal for lunch. But I skip dinner. 2 nites in a row. Just don't feel like eating at night. My brother looked at me up and down...and he asked..."Kak Liyn pergi slimming centre ke ape?" He said that I looked smaller than I was before and he thought I went to a slimming centre...No I didn't...I worked my arse off....Been on my feet for days. Been multi-tasking alot and that made me stressed up. And lastly, I stopped eating snacks..fattening snacks....especially chocolates...

But I still think I am fat....

Been cursing my phone. When I am fooling around with it, everything's working fine...all can work. Now...I need my phone for my report...and the infra-red's not working! DAMMIT! I cursed it upside down...and *poof*...it works again...HAHAHAHAHAH!

LOL!

Tomorrow's Thursday...the last day of work for this week....then...the next morning, you'll find me gone cause I've already flown away..faraway from here...hehehe...Probably will be back by Sunday...if not the latest will be on Monday.....

And I've finally updated my galleries...heh....showing off d younger side of me...HAHA!!!

OKlah...ciao for now....feeling so sleepy....

QueenLiyn@21:32

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Heh....

I apologize for my lousy mood and crude language last night. I wasn't at my best mood. Was trying to solve a problem with my laptop and finally, I'd come out a solution this afternoon. In a way, God is teaching me a valuable lesson by giving me this problem. Though it sucks....but I guess to make me learn, I've got to be given a lesson. I was greedy.

At work today, a lot of analysis failed. I wasn't at my own pace while doing my work. Talked to Patrick about my interim report. He gave me permission to duplicate anything and everything. Am very glad that there's no restrictions.

Don't know what the hell I'm talking about...

Anyway...I got enlightenment from Annisha's blog. Read her most recent entry...and woah...I was like..."I totally agree with you.." Ok....what she said there, is all true. We can date BUT we should know our limits. Know between the right and the wrong. Even holding hands...is already going beyond the limits. The thought of holding hands with him did cross my mine a few times, but I think of the rules and consequences first. Though it's harmless....but I still think it isn't right....right H?

Talking about him...I dreamt of him and *sighs* A.Zul last night. Yeah. Seemed so real but like always, it's a lil bit disturbing.

To end this entry...haiz...just wanna say...I love him a lot....maybe miss him a little? Heh...

QueenLiyn@23:49

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Fark...

Just don't have the mood to blog today...

My head is in a twirl....Grrrrrrr....

Fark lah....

Sorry for the crude language....

QueenLiyn@23:10

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Cute....

And my mom said..."Boleh buat rambut untuk $40....tapi nak beli proper kasut tak leh afford..." And my reply...."Relakslah...I know what I'm doing. I'll buy when I've found high quality shoes at low prices...."

Hehe...I know that I'm supposed to buy proper shoes but I just find it a chore to buy new shoes as I prefer shoes that last a long time. I can't afford to buy shoes that are cheap and of low quality. I know all my shoes are like...koyak...cause I've worn them for almost 3 years....especially my sports shoes but I just find it difficult to find a nice and of good quality pair of shoes. But anyway, I promised my mom that I would get myself some flat pumps by next month. I'm going to continue schooling anyway after graduation so I need a few pairs of proper shoes....hehehehe...

Anyways, just now went to a wedding. The food there was below my expectations. Fail. TOOOOO sweet....make me dizzy. Everything's sweet. The chicken, prawn, pineapple and even d drink is very SWEET!!!! The laksa...Ughhh...my favourite food has the worst taste there... Wahlau...I don't know how the cook was being employed...Urghhh...

SO sian right now. Just found a perfect place for bowling. It's affordable. But a lil bit boring cause it's too near. Hmmm...need to discuss with H...before I set off to Malacca. Arghhh...talking about Malacca...I've gotta start working on my interim report by tomorrow...so need some inspiration from my supervisors.....*thinks*

Been sleeping a lot and earlier nowadays cause I have to get rid of the growing wrinkles on my face. Can't afford to sleep as late as 3am. Normally, I sleep around that time when it's the weekends but this week, I've been sleeping as early as 11pm. Having problems are more than enough to cause the wrinkles on my face. Apart from enough sleep and good eating habits, I've also been using Olay Total Effects to slow down the ageing process...Haizz....why at 19 I'm feeling so old already....and soon I'll be turning 2 decades....

Why so fast huh? Not long...I'll turn 3 decades...Don't want to think about it....

Hah...the more I look at the photos that I took with him, the more he looks like a teddy bear...LOL!!! Not a fat teddy bear but a slim teddy bear....hehehe...cute what...

My bro asked me what I did when I want to go out with H and how I tell my mom... The only thing I said was , "Negotiate.." His reply, "What is negotiate? And how do you negotiate?" I kept quiet and didn't answer. My lil bro here has been lying a lot to my mom. He went out with his girlfriend but he told my mom that he's going to the gym. I know that he's lying cause my instincts say so. Negotiating is my way of doing things. Only I negotiate things here. I don't really demand or ask permission. Well, lil bro....negotiating needs to use a lot of brains. Telling the truth ain't easy but sacrificing something is easy although you'll suffer the consequences later. Don't really want to give examples. Although it's a good example...but different people has different style. Like me...I negotiated something with my mom...and I know that I'm going to suffer badly later... Well...life's like that...but just think on the bright side of things...and everything's gonna be okay........

Oklah...I'll end this entry here.....ciao for now....

QueenLiyn@23:57

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YaY Day

Uh....that's me with my new hairstyle on the right. Neat huh...but the photo a lil bit blur cause my phone has not been well nowadays...HAHAHA...excuses...excuses...So H...my hair's not as short as Yoanna and yeah, not rimas. And Steph, don't need to freak out...I'm just back to my year 1 in poly hairstyle.....hehehe...wonder how your hair looks like right now...heh....

OK...stayed at home for the whole day. Getting fat. Ugh. Don't know how to get rid of my tummy. I don't want to go on carb diet anymore. It's torturing. I don't want to exercise. I'm lazy. Hmm....how huh?

And guess what? I played The Sims again. YaY! LOL! Ok....just made 2 families. The Fairfields and the Dankers. I'm one of the Fairfields and Stephanie is a Danker. Heh....not really fun playing The Sims anymore cause need a lot of strategy to make them rich. I am lazy to think.

See...I've got a lazy arse nowadays....

My parents finally gave me the green light to take the theory test for driving. Will be taking the test with my bro but my bro will be doing the driving practical first before me. Asked him to go and book the date on Monday so that I know how long I need to prepare for the test. I don't even know a single thing about anything....I mean driving...hehe...maybe a lil bitlah....Therefore, I need to study from the basics. As my bro has his own book and asked me to find myself a book, so, I borrowed it from H. Heh....luckily he found his book...

Can't wait to go to Malacca on Christmas Eve. I'm gonna relax there. Really relax. No restriction on eating or shopping....Hahaha....Nolah...I know my limits. I can't possibly gain more than I lose right. Probably I would have to take leave on the 27th if my mom still wants to stay. And on the 28th, I'm on leave. YaY! Going back to school to hand my interim report and then, go bowling with him!

Hmmm...how I have so many "YaY" today.....My mood's better but I'm still lazy....

Haiz...ciao for now......

QueenLiyn@22:16

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Giggling....

Heeheee...just cut my hair and got it treated. Cost me 40 dubloons. Heehee...how neat I look. How classy I look...Want to see...? Cannot....Hehe...Steph will get to see first..hehehehe...

OK...stop giggling Liyana...hehehehe

Steph...why you tell him about it???? It's the past lah. Don't want to even think about it. I don't want to be uncomfortable around him...hehehe....Sorrylah...can't help it...Luckily I have someone...if not I'll blush to my roots whenever I see him...Aiyoh...must censored a lot here... later all your "wah lau", "wah cow" and "wah liew" come out...HAHAHAHA! I never tell H and yet you tell him....maybe I should tell H....but don't know how.,...maybe..."I used to admire Steph's bf...."? LOL!!!!!

Anyways...talking to the best people in my life right now...hehehe....

DOn't know what else to blog......SIAN....

QueenLiyn@23:45

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Hmmmm.....

Been saying that I miss analysing chrome...and guess what...today, 5 chrome samples came in! I was damn glad! Finished all 3 analysis on those samples in less than an hour! Hahaha! I'm such an expert. I did some mistakes today. Maybe I was drifting away. I accidentally poured the wrong thing into the wrong beaker because I was thinking about something or maybe...hmmm...someone...heh....And I accidentally choked the AAS machine...heh....it's actually my doing...but I just refused to admit to it....heh...I know I was drifting away while I wait for the results to come out. Before I knew it, I auto zero the equipment with the sample...and DAMN...I choked it! HAHAHAHAHAH!!! I felt so happy when Lay Nah said that I can only use that machine tomorrow...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

OK...shut up liyana...

No work now...so don't talk about work.....

Tomorrow after work I'll be going to the salon to change my hairstyle. Maybe a cute bob...Haha...Nolah...I don't want to act cute. I'm just trimming it shorter and more layered. I don't want to make the wrong choice of hairstyle again so I'll just stick to my hairstyle now but shorter. And I want it to look silkier, free-flowing and shiny.........heeeeeh. I look ugly and old with longer hair...so I guess I stick to shorter hair. *sighs* I'll miss my long hair....

Stephanie seems so happy now. Told me happily that she slept at 2am talking on the phone. I'm happy for her. At least she's happier and I don't feel so pressurized when I'm around her. She smiles and hummed to herself a lot at work. On the way home, I actually blasted loud music in my ears so that I wouldn't hear other people talking in the bus. It was when I heard someone singing that I took out one of my earphones and try to locate the singing. And guess what, Stephie's singing "Do Re Mi"....LOL! She sang so loud! Hehehe...Steph...you so happy huh....I'm so happy for you too!! hehehe....Too bad he's working shift. But I bet you can't wait to go to Victoria Theatre huh.....booorrriiinnggg.....BOWLING'S better!! LOL!

Talking about bowling. I don't want that day to come too fast. I mean...after that day I wouldn't be able to meet him for a month until Chinese New Year. I know I'll miss him but thinking on the bright side....I'll be able to fulfill my responsibilities, that is, to work and earn that perfect grade whereas he can fulfill his...which is to study HARD....

Haha...I'm now looking at my big album of my secondary school days. Funny photos. A lot of extra people. Heh...don't want to say who. Comparing the past and the present. A very BIG difference.

Hmmm...I've updated some of my photo galleries. Not really that obsessed with my phone anymore. It comes in handy when I need it and also when I'm bored.....For now...I'll ciao!

QueenLiyn@19:47

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Sweet............

Yes Steph, I blog everyday. EVERYDAY. And YaY..I can see you like to read my blog...LOL! Stephie complains whenever my entry is too long and she also complains when I blog too short. Crazy girl...LOL!

Is my life that interesting? Haha...

At work today. I was really lazy....VERY lazy. I did all my work slowly until I ended up with one whole pile of analysis to do. So, after lunch, I put my management skills at work. I organized all the analysis that I need to do, putting the most boring one first and the most enjoyable one last. Did the stooopid AAS analysis first. Something that I hate to do cause I need to wait a long time. Then, finished all the CVS and titration. And lastly, I analysed chrome...yeah..a chrome sample came in today. I was happily shaking the centrifugal flask today. Hehehe...

And before I knew it, I finished all my work in a blink of an eye before 5pm. I thought I wanted to do the most difficult analysis that students normally fail to pass. But I was running out of time...so tomorrow's the day I'm going to put my chemistry to test....let me be the first student to pass it at the first try.....hehehehehehehehe.....

Ok...enough about work....

I've decided to do something to my hair. I want to cut it short. My decision's final. I also want to treat my dry and damaged hair. My pop said that I'm wasting my money but to me, pampering myself ain't a waste of money. It's worth every single cent of it. And I'm ready for a new hairstyle. Stephie's going to get her hair done too. To treat, trim and highlight. So, both of us are doing something to our hair by this week.

Hmmm.....want me to write longer right? SO here goes..............

Been looking at the photos I took with him last night. I'm laughing....while trying to remember last night when we were taking photos. I don't know how many times we adjusted ourselves and also how many times we took. But I saved 3 particular photos in my phone. Not really that they all look nice but because I want to pick out the best from the 3. Yaa...picked one out. One particular photo that Steph made me realize something....both of us looked almost the same! Hahaha...will send the photos to you when we are chatting someday...okiez?

Erm....one more thing...H...I don't know whether you know who you are or not...but there's only 1 H...hahaha....just want to say thanks for being understanding and walking me home last night. You're so sweet...hehehehehe..Jgn kembang eh....heheheheh

OKok....enough....

Too long an entry will make someone sian...LOL....so ciao for now!

QueenLiyn@20:49

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Curiosity

YaWnZ! I'm soooooo sleepy. My eyes are already half closed. I know that at work today, while I was sitting in front of the computer, I was dozing off. I pretended to type but my eyes were closed. Luckily Lay Nah asked me to do QC...if not I really will sleep while working!

But I had a really lazy arse today. I did all my analysis so DAMN slowly that I've got to continue tomorrow. I purposely do that cause I don't want to do paperwork. Stephanie kept asking me to pour Orthophosphoric acid into the bottle cause she is too weak to pour it herself. I don't mind...I can work my arms. I need that workout anyway. Hmmm..what else huh.....I guess nothing more to say about work...I know today is my sleepy day....

Hmmm...after work today, went out with him to have dinner somewhere in Bukit Batok. Chatted a lot...blah blah blah....and as usual, like I would say always....Nothing more to elaborate...

Hahaha....curiosity kills the cat. Maybe one day when we are ready, we'll go public when there's no more cats to kill. But for now...let the curiosity kill all the cats....LOL...

What d hell am I talking about???? *tilt head 1 side*

QueenLiyn@23:43

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Materialism and Temptation

Just came back from the mosque.....

Today is my sway day. Very sway day. Yes, it's a Monday and I've got my normal blues. In the morning, we went to work without any access card to the laboratory and so, we slacked in the toilet in the morning and whereas after lunch, we slacked at the reception area. Slacking is good, I know BUT we prefer to slack inside the laboratory. Nicer chairs...easier to sleep.

Another sway thing that happened to me...I dropped my watch onto the floor cause I carelessly put it at the edge of my locker. And the glass broke. GRRRRR....So, I bought a new one.............

Heh...the good thing about today is that me and Stephie have the whole lab to ourselves! No Jasper and no Lay Nah. Both of us were chatting and laughing like as if we own the whole lab and we kept making funny faces at each other. Stephie is crazy today...hahaha...and I guess... HAPPIER!!! For me...I'm crazy today but hmmm...don't know whether I'm happy or not....

I'm like a time bomb waiting to explode. Steph said that I'm that type of person who will blow up after bottling up everything. Yeah. I do bottle things up. And if I blow up, I'll ruin everything. That's what I don't really want. But I'm controlling my temper....

Learn something at religious class today. Materialism and Temptation. Kebendaan dan Nafsu... I am trying to change myself. To stay away from materialism. I need to control my temptation and desires. I've yet to find a way to fight my temptation. But somehow I'll try...

I guess that's all today. Just updated my gallery especially the one on my family...Check it out peeps...

QueenLiyn@23:28

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Friendships Should Be Treasured....

My third time blogging for today.

Been thinking on how to start on my interim report for my attachment. It's actually due on 10 January but I'm handing it a few weeks earlier so that it won't get stuck during the time I'm working for my double bonus.

I'm getting a double bonus...that is if I can work my lazy arse after New Year. Why double? I'm doing my attachment while working for my mom, so I called it double bonus. I'm like the jackpot now...Hahaha....spending my money very carefully nowadays so that I don't waste my money on unnecessary things. Going to take his advice by leaving my atm card at home whenever I go to work so that the temptation to use my card will be lesser.

The most crucial thing that I need now is a belt. My pop's been complaining about the way I dress. He said that my tops are too short and I've been wearing my jeans too low. Yes, my tops are short cause I don't like to wear baggy tops. But for my jeans, it's not my fault cause my waist is smaller and therefore, my jeans are dropping. So, tomorrow, I've gotta look for a belt even though I don't really like to wear belts.

Decided to give up on an MP3 player and The Sims 2. I've got no time to play computer games anymore. And having an MP3 player is the same as having a normal Discman but less bulkier. So, I would rather treasure my Discman now. Maybe I should ask my parents for an MP3 player for my 20th birthday even though mom promised to buy me a pair of diamond white gold earrings. But I don't need jewellery as it's just a small thingy that I wear on a part of my body.

Talking about jewellery. I just talked to PJ about what my mom wants to do with her jewelleries as PJ's father makes jewelleries. My mom agreed to their conditions so as to meet her budget. So, I guess her father has a customer now. And know what, me on the other hand, am very fussy about jewellery. I don't wear yellow gold. The excuse that I always give is that...it don't look good on my tanned skin...heh....That's why I only wear white gold now. And all my jewelleries must have diamonds, so that it glitters on my tanned skin. Hahaha...I am very particular. Normally, my mom will give in to whatever jewellery I want cause she's using her own money....but my pop can never afford one for me........so sad...Hahaha! That's why I'm Momma's pampered girl at home even when I have the most lazy arse at home...LOL!

Ya...now I just realize that I'm pampered. I'm actually rather pampered. I'm the only daughter of the family. I got things that my brothers don't. And I even get to do things that my brothers never get to do. But those things happen because I use my intelligence to negotiate and win my parent's trust. Not easy okay...I always have to plot my plan...LOL!!!

Okok....I can't wait to see how Stephanie's face will look like tomorrow. Happier? Hahha...hopefully she don't have her moods cause she's erm....in love...I guess...LOL!! I'm glad that I've got a friend like Steph. Nowadays, I always get under her skin....Hahaha....always made her get irritated by my immature behavior at work. But really, sometimes, when there's something wrong with me, I'll be immature.

Talking about friends right, I can see how my group of friends vary throughout my years of education. Last time, I still remember in primary school. My bestest friend, Rose, whom I still contact till now, used to be so jealous of the people whom I mix around with. She would say that I'm like a dog and that I'm tagging all those girls wherever I go. I only realized it when those girls actually looked down on me and some tried to make use of me. That was when Rose really became my true friend. We made a promise before we leave primary school that we would never fall in love in secondary school. But unfortunately, both of us broke that promise. And guess what, Rose is studying in the same school as me but in Mass Comm. What a small world my dear friend....

And in secondary school, I've got different group of friends. The very first friend that I made was Sukhairen. She's my best friend. Someone whom I would turn to when I really really really need help. Friendship with her has its ups and downs. In secondary 1, she actually wasn't my friend anymore when she mixed with that shorty but in time, she realized her mistake. In secondary 2, we were separated and I made new friends. Friends that actually didn't really last long cause actually we don't click. They were the popular people but I don't want to be popular. In secondary 3 and secondary 4, we were reunited and our friendship strengthened even when some people come in between our friendship. We shared secrets. A lot of secrets. Secrets that were never meant to be told so whatever happened recently, doesn't really shock her cause she knows earlier than anyone else. She's that type of friend who objects to whatever I want to do. She thinks that I should give myself a chance. She rarely say "Yes" to what I wish to do. I even her doubted recently when she started to give me all the bad reasons. But I understand as she's my best friend, she knows what's best for me. She even objected to the guy whom I love now. Hahaha!!

So, now I've found Stephie as my only good friend in poly. The most mature among the rest. We often irritate each other. We talked openly. Laughed openly. And did a lot of wrong things together...Hahaha! We do share secrets. But not as much. She likes to hide things from me. I don't really like it but in any case, she makes a good friend.

Hmmm....not forgetting some of my close friends back in secondary school. Ivan, who always irritate me and I don't really appreciate his personality. Chaili, though mature but she often like to look down on people. Yee Chuan, nice guy till now, very gentle and cheerful. And Hatta... hmmm.....no comments...LOL...

Now, I'm at the peak of my education. I treasure friendships a lot. That's why I am still in contact with my friends all the way back in primary school.....

Ok...maybe I've gotta stop here...wrote too much already....I'm sooooo bored.......

QueenLiyn@23:23

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Blah...

WAHAHAHA! I am so happy for my dearest Stephie....I know I'll be proven right. Hehehe.... treat him right ya....

Woke up very very late today at around 12pm. Slept late last night, chatting first with him and he left me at around 1am and then with my dearest cousin...Hahahaha...Didn't quarrel like we used to..at least we were talking sensibly... Exchanged some personal information. Nice...he's being honest with me...

I've always love honesty. I like it when people are honest with me. I don't mind whether it's hurtful or vice versa, I just like the truth. I don't like it when people lie to me or hide things or feelings from me just because they don't want me to get hurt. I would be hurt but I still prefer the truth.

Okok...need to say something. Apart from being too happy for Stephie, I am a little bit unhappy with him....A little only....nothing serious...

If you want to know...ask me...but I know you won't care right...so why the hell do I bother typing this down?

QueenLiyn@14:33

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A Nightmare...

Went out since morning....went to Tekka, Bras Basah and then to Bendemeer. We had lunch at Banquet Raffles Hospital. I had a migraine by then. I think I think too much. Slept in the car on the way home.

By the time I reached home my migraine affected the back of my neck. Took Panadol Extra and went to bed. I wasn't able to sleep well. Had a nightmare and woke up in cold sweat. The nightmare seemed so real. Actually, I forced my way out of the nightmare. I was relieved when I saw the ceiling of my room.

The nightmare is about being in a new house. I guess it's my dream house, with a front porch and a big garden. And my room was rather big. Don't know who the hell I share it with cause my room especially wasn't that peaceful. I was happy that I am living in my dream house. But I had a problem in that dream. I had a kid. And I don't know who was my husband. But my kid was problematic. I asked my mom to take care of him but nobody seems to care. I couldn't really take it anymore. I do love kids but that kid in my dream frusts me a lot. And so, I forced my way out of that dream....

Actually, in a lot of my dreams, when I dreamt of my so-called future, I couldn't really see who was my so-called husband. Everything's a blur when it comes to him. Anyway, it's more important to care about the present reality rather than the future. And dreams normally are not true...so don't need to think so much....

Hmm...Stephie...hehe....I wonder what she's doing now. Messaged me when she's at Suntec waiting for Alvin...claiming that she's nervous. Hehehe...why huh? Oh ya....you must prove me wrong huh...don't prove me right. If I'm right, I don't know what to say.....

There's still a lot of things bothering me. Don't know who to talk to about them. All those things bothering me are just troubles that I've yet to find a solution. It's not easy when I'm standing on my own and solving every problem that I have. I'm learning how to be independent. I can't really talk to my parents cause they don't really understand me. People that I normally talk to about my troubles would be like Stephanie, Syahirah, sometimes him and sometimes Bibik Nana. I love it when I talk to Bibik Nana. I grew up with her. She's the spontaneous type. She never backstab me. I mean she never talk bad about me or challenge me. I miss her already...

To end this entry...HUSSIN...stop calling me "Me little cuzzin of mine...."...URGHHHH! Juni, see your brother always bully me online....:(....At least he's fun to talk to even when we don't really talk when we see each other....He's better than that other someone who don't even talk to me anymore or even care to smile at me....Dahlah...pergi jalan dah Abang ZUL...*angst*

QueenLiyn@01:14

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I Dream

Started the day feeling nauseus. Wasn't able to get out from bed. Nearly had morning sickness...LOL...no I'm not pregnant. I'm down with stomach flu. Again? Yupz...again. This year I've been infected by the stomach flu virus for around 5 times! Wasn't really feeling well when I got out of the house. My face was pale. And my stomach was in pain. Acute pain.

Don't know from where I got the virus. That is my body's weakness. It's not immune to the stomach flu virus.

My face lighted up a little when I saw him and his brother in the morning. Yeah...from far and we took the same train but at different cabins. It's too bad that I wasn't able to spot him before the train arrived. But seeing him did light my morning a little although I still sound very sian in the morning....

And it's his birthday. Finally he's 19! Or should I say their birthdays and they are finally 19? Hahaha...Happy Birthday to him! Lav him lotz...heh...And Taufik Batisah's birthday falls today also!

At work today, I very sian. Very lazy. I dragged my booted feet for the whole day. Nothing more to say about work....

You know, I've been laughing a lot since last night. I chatted with Yee Chuan, one of my good friends back in secondary school when I actually wanted to watch the OC on TV. But he messaged me in Friendster and I think I've gotta talk to him. We kept laughing and giggling. Very funny...Hahaha...not funnylah...I should say happy. We were still laughing when we said goodbye. Don't want to say what we were talking about. It's between me and him only...LOL!

And just now, me and Stephanie just couldn't stop laughing at ourselves. After work, she was hungry. And we went to the pantry to look for biscuits. I told her that if there's margarine and sugar, ermmm...yum...the biscuits would taste nice! And we rummaged through the fridge and found margarine. We were like crazy and hungry baboons. SHe took 5 pieces and sandwiched them together. I only ate 2 pieces cause I wasn't that hungry.... What else? Stephanie secretly took chrysanthemum tea sachets and hid them inside her bag. I was laughing out loud already!!! We then picnic-ed inside the bus...HAHAHAHAHA!!! THat's fun babe!

I feel like writing a longer blog cause I really have nothing to do.... Let's talk about my life in the year 2004.

I've achieved a lot this year. Academically, physically and socially. There were the ups and downs. I fell badly this year but I managed to stand up again. Now I stood tall and my head is among the clouds. This year I've reached one of my goals, which is to achieve the most number of A's. And I did. I'm proud of it. Want to see my results slip? Hehe...

In health-wise, I was sick more than I was years before. Stomach flu. And having stomach flu often actually changed my appetite. I lost a lot of weight. 10 to 15 pounds. Not only stomach flu that affected my weight but the fact that I think eating is a waste of time, made me skip meals for days. SO, I was on carbo diet for weeks and I was weak by the time it was the fasting month. But the results are more important than the sufferings. I got back the figure that I wanted since I entered poly. I was able to wear dresses and short skirts again. Although all my kebayas, my jeans and my T-shirts oversized my body, but I was glad that I look good again....

My personality changes within months this year. Good in 1 month and rebel the next. I learn a lot of things that made me show to others that I'm capable of doing anything. Ego overcame me. Pride got over me. Selfishness took over my life. But there's always the soft side of me. I can be very emotional. I can be very caring and concern when it comes to my friends. I treasure love a lot and definitely friendship. Nothing can bring me down, not even depression. I will never give up in life just because I'd lost something forever.

Socially, I made more friends. Got to know more people. And have been crapping around and slacking with them a lot especially last semester. And I've finally let it all out. I've finally confessed to that guy after years of hiding it. And well....here we are...taking things slowly.....

I think I wrote enough. Hah....what a long entry....For now, I'll ciao...

QueenLiyn@22:28

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Dreams...

Started the day with a shock. Me and Stephanie were in the toilet getting ready for work when Stephanie said to me..."You won't believe who I'm going out with this Saturday..." I guessed 2 guys but they were wrong and I was rather shock to find out that she's going out for dinner with Alvin Khoo...Hehe...Alvin..I know you will read this. It isn't surprising to me that he asked her out because during the past few weeks since Steph broke up with her ex, they have gotten closer and even shared some similaraties. So Steph's going out with the guy who's full of crap. That would be fun! And she's going to ride on his bike. That would be funner!!! LOL!

I had a lot of analysis to do today. Didn't even stop to do paperwork. For the whole day I was in the wet laboratory. And someone tried to flirt with me today. Actually, for don't know how many times he did that. The last time he did that was yesterday when I wanted to pass him some documents in his office. He told me so damn sweetly, "Come here more often, okiez..." I was laughing my head off. And I did went to send some other things there for the rest of the day. Today while I was getting ready to do analysis on grain refiner, he was joking and singing in the lab. I was smiling. And know what he said...."I love your smile..." I didn't layan him cause firstly, I've got work to do and secondly, I'm not interested.... LOL!

And ya...I managed to apply for leave to go bowling with him...I mean HIM...

Anyways, I've decided to apply for SIM once I graduate from polytechnic. I need my future to be secured with a degree qualification. I need to feel better about myself. And I want to study, not work.....I don't mind if my future other half has a high or low qualification...at least he must be secured with a diploma. The only thing that I have been dreaming for my whole life is to go to a university and study something that I love. And Insya'allah, that dream will come true if God permits it.

And talking about dreams. I've thought about 5 of my new year's resolutions. Every year I always have 10 resolutions but I only managed to think half of it. Will only reveal it on new year's eve. This year I've fulfilled half of this year's resolutions. But hopefully, I'll be able to fulfill all my resolutions next year....

QueenLiyn@21:08

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Gooddd....

Didn't post entry last night cause I was sick. Very sick. Couldn't eat but still managed to sleep. I preferred to be in the warmth and comfort of my own room rather than the freezing living room. I was having an art lesson with me, myself and I, till around 1am. LOL! I was drawing and painting. Been a long time since I did all that.

Don't know whether it looks okay or not. To me, it looks satisfactory. Only one person can judge it. Haha....

ANyways, at work today, did a lot of analysis. My arms are hurting. My back is aching. My legs are okay....And Stephanie didn't come again today. SHe's always like that. On MC. I'm sick but I'm still strong enough to work. She said that I'm a strong girl. But she's the wonder woman, she must be stronger!!! LOL!!!

And H, I've finally come out with a plan for that day when we can go bowling. I only managed to ask my supervisors but not my boss. Big chance, I'll be able to spend the day with you. And the good thing is that...I don't even need to LIE!!! Only that I'm going to drag you to school...hehehehe....

For now, I'll leave you with this song that I'm hooked to by Sum 41....Kinda interesting especially the bold words....

"Open Your Eyes"

Lately,
I'm not quite myself.
Maybe,
I do need some help.
Just my confusion,
Trust my delusion.

Don't you,
Regret you met me.
Go through,
These steps to get me,
Back to where we start,
'Fore I fall apart.

If I could black out,
It'd become so clear,
Standing face-to-face with everything I fear.
Watch so closely,
but still I don't see.
As bad as it seems,
a piece of mind I steal,
An ordinary life,
But consequences real.
I'm past the point of reality.

This isn't me,This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.

This isn't me,This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.

It's like a bad dream,
Coming all so true,
Leaving me with nothing else left to do.
Now so helpless,
I'm not so selfish.
Tell me,
How does it feel to have a face like that,
How does it feel to be replaced like that.
Now so faceless,
Do you still feel?

This isn't me,This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.

This isn't me,This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.

It's hard to believe right now,
This seems to be real.
Still phasing by this time,
So why can't I wake up.

This isn't me,This isn't you,
When it's just everything we do.
Till you open up your eyes,
and understand this isn't real.

This isn't me,This isn't you,
This is everything but true,
Till we come to realize,
It's what we put each other through.

QueenLiyn@23:00

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Sick....again...

I feel so sick. See my eyes...so puffy...and my throat...urghh...pain! I'm not at peace today the whole time I'm at work. My brain was blocked. I'm so blur. Kept making stupid mistakes and asking stupid questions. My heart nearly exploded when I woke up in the bus on my way home.

Don't know why. What the hell...

I ate biscuits dipped in milo for lunch today. Don't ask me whether I'm on diet or what. I'm not as I don't have the mood to eat. Dr Futch came in and said sarcastically that eating rice would make someone slimmer. I was busy drowning myself by reading the Straits Times that I didn't realize that he was talking about me and everyone was staring at me except for Stephanie who was also drowning herself in the papers.

Aiyah...like I care....I eat what I like lah...

Don't know what else to say....

Hmm...nevermind...

QueenLiyn@19:25

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No Obsession

Heheheheh...to think that the Perjumpaan Hari Raya might be boring....

When I reached the place, I wasn't observant enough that the celebrity that I've always wanted to meet was there. It was went my brother said that "Mikhail gemuk eh...." I was like...."Mane die??????"

And I saw him!!!! Mikhail Abdul Razak!!! I was so damn excited! I've been hoping to meet him in person. He's chubby. Doesn't look like inside the photo that I used to have....And CUTE!!! I took a picture with him with my camera phone!!!!!!!

I asked Hairie to go and approach him so that we can take photos. And we did!!! YaY! But it was disturbing enough that his standing so close to me...so DAMN close to me. In a way I like it. In a way I don't cause my hand was on his thigh....! But I pretended to be okay with it. I mean I don't stand that close to my guy when we take a photo. Maybe we should one day...LOL!

Okok...enough...Mikhail isn't really a role model. I like him because of his looks. Its more towards his looks. Not his personality. He has a very bad personality. A playboy. A smoker. He pierced his ear. He colour his hair. Not the type of guy that I should bring home.

But Mikhail is just a fantasy for me. No obsession. Definitely no love. It's like when a girl see a handsome guy and she go CRAZY. That's all. It's just admiration. I only love one guy...heh....

My mom joked with me that H might be jealous as I took a picture with another guy. But I said, it's nothing....

Check out the photos in my album "Perjumpaan Hari Raya KH". The photo that I posted which I took with Mikhail is rather blur. Luckily, I have a back-up copy in Hairie's digital camera. Hehe...

Oh ya...H...I still need to talk to you. Like I've said in my past 2 entries, message me when you read this so we can talk online okiez...rather important....

Haiz....gotta ciao now...Bye

QueenLiyn@23:58

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A chore everyday...

Woke up late today but in time to catch Taufik on Selamat Pagi Singapura. Slept late last night cause I was chatting with Syahirah till 2am while surfing for some stuffs online. I'm an owl. I can sleep very late but sometimes I'll be dozing off in front of my screen. LOL...

My hair's longer now. I managed to tie it up in a knot. Don't know whether I want to cut it or keep it. If I cut it, I have to manage a new hairstyle. But if I don't, I have to struggle with long hair. Maybe I'll try to learn to keep long hair even though earlier this year I had a bad experience with a longer hair. Earlier this year I kept rather long hair till the middle of the year but my hair was damaged and dry. I tried various ways to treat it but it got worse and I finally snipped away the damaged part. And when a new semester began, I tried a new and shorter hairstyle. Now, it's longer. Just don't know what I want to do with it.

Maybe I'll keep it long till next year......

This Friday is his 19th birthday. Still thinking on how to design his card...heh...it's too bad that I can't give it on his birthday cause my parents don't allow me to meet him this week. They say it's a rule that I can only meet him once a fortnight. How do I feel? Disappointed...I guess....his birthday present becomes his belated birthday present.......

Tonight, I'll be going for a perjumpaan Hari Raya at Blk 237 in CCK. It's going to be another boring thing that I'm going to do with my parents. ARGGHHH!! Yesterday was another thing. In the morning, went to the cemetary. A place that I don't really like to go. Then later in the evening, went to 2 weddings. Another thing that I don't like to do cause normally, I won't meet my sisters there. ANd at one of the weddings, there's too many Mat-Tapered until I nearly puke. Luckily, none of my abang or adiks are Mat-Tapered.

*sighs* A boring life. Everyday is a chore to me. I've yet to write my logbook for my attachment. Not even a single word. I've forgotten what I've done for the past 5 weeks. So, I'm going to write s**t in there later...

I guess I'll stop here for now....maybe I'll blog again later...

QueenLiyn@13:09

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No use...

Had a massive headache for almost the whole day. It's more like a migraine as the pain is at the back left of my head. I tried to get rid of the pain the whole day by lying down. I couldn't stand the pain anymore when my migraine affects the back of my neck. I asked my mom to massage it for me and I swallowed Panadol Extra after that. I am glad that the pain is gone now. Don't know why I'm having a migraine....I'm not stressed or pressured in any way....

And Thank God...I managed to get rid of the itchiness of my throat and my voice is back to normal!

So, just now Syahirah helped me. She was at the Zul Brothers' house and I asked her to say hi to A.Zul for me when she salam him. His response? "Ohh....ah..." What kind of response is that? And Syahirah said that he didn't even smile! Is he angry at me about something?

Cause the way he's treating me now is rather disturbing. I remembered during Hari Raya when I seeked forgiveness from him. He didn't even look at me in the eye! What's wrong with him??? Even when we see each other and I purposely sat at the same table he's sitting and opposite his seat somemore, he ran away! I know he's avoiding me...Apasal dengan die? What did I do wrong? He was the one who broke my heart into pieces! And I'm at fault now?

Okok...maybe this public diary might have affect our friendship and family tie. I don't hate him anymore. The past remains in the past, okies...I'm sorry if I hurt him in any way. I want him to talk to me again. I want him to tease me again and laugh at each other's flaws. I want my eldest brother back again. He said that he would protect me from the bad people out there. Who knows I might need him in the future when I really don't have anyone to turn to? If he needs someone to talk to, I can be his listening ear. It's not that I don't care about him. I do, but not as much as last time. We grew up together. We've seen each other cry, laugh and getting angry before. We know a lot of things about each other. I miss those times when he'd sit with me and talk life with me. Why aren't we friends anymore???? Why are you avoiding me??????? I want him to be there for me when I found my happiness in the future and I want to be there for him when he found his happiness in the future....why doesn't he understand???? Can we mend this broken friendship before it gets worse?

I'll shut up now. Sometimes, it's of no use talking to someone like him.....*sighs*

I'm facing another problem now. H, you know who you are, I need to talk to you about some things. Rather important I guess....If you are reading this, message me and we'll talk online...okiez....?

Gotta ciao now....

QueenLiyn@23:10

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A Choice

Damn! It's the time of the month again. Luckily it's the weekends....

I'm having a terrible headache, my throat is bad but then, I still can breathe like normal....heh...H...does it sounds familiar? LOL! Woke up in the morning with a very bad throat. Having a very funny voice now.... heh...sexy voice...LOL...hopefully, the itchiness of my throat will go away soon... I can't fall sick at this time. Maybe I should...heh...

Tried not to spend any money today. Only spend less than a dollar for a can of milo. I brought lunch from home which I prepared last night. A caeser salad. I'm not on a diet ok....just don't have the mood to eat.

Been thinking...if God gave me a choice between Success and Happiness, which one would I choose? I don't know which one is the priority. But if I am suppose to choose, I'll take both. You can say that I'm greedy but honestly, someone has to be happy before she can be successful. How can someone whose so revengeful and angry achieve success right? I'm a multi-tasker. I don't only focus on one thing. I can do a lot of things at one time. I can be chasing a lot of my dreams at one time. Cause time is money...and money is precious....

But am I happy? Hmmm....I'm just bored. Bored because I need to work everyday for the next 4 or so months. No freedom but at least I won't be broke......

Just wondering....Am I that short? Or do I just feel short? Cause I know I have an above average height for a girl... Is it just a feeling of shortness or is he growing taller? Hehe...that's good he's growing...

A note for Syahirah...Hey...fill me in about FL! It's been a long long time since I know what you've been doing! You know what I mean? Heh...hope you are progressing something....Cause one day, like I've said before, I want to see some achievement...okiez? LOL....

Nothing more to say....so CIAO...

QueenLiyn@13:58

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Accidents

And we're heading to Malacca this Christmas Eve...to Hotel Orkid in a Family Suite. Woohoo! I love Malacca because it's a shopper's paradise. This time I'll be bringing around SG$40 to shop...till I drop!...Heh...

OKiez...anyway at work today, met with a couple of minor accidents. I was refilling the EDTA solution and EDTA contains ammonia. I hate ammonia smell so, I tried not to sniff or breathe when I was pouring. But I accidentally breathe in a huge amount of ammonia fume when I was out of breath. Damn! I coughed rather badly. Next accident happened when I tried to pour acid copper into a beaker so that it's easier for me to prepare solutions. The huge bottle of acid copper was so heavy that I accidentally splash some of it on my face. And acid copper contains concentrated hydrochloric acid and sulphuric acid! It's a bit pain but I bear with it and instead of informing my supervisors, I excused myself to the toilet to wash my face. And fortunately, my face is still okay.....

Anyway, after work today, I went out with him for a few hours to Causeway Point. Watched the movie "Without a Paddle". Funny movie...heh....And he's not feeling well. :( ...Like usual..nothing more for me to elaborate here....

LOL...

So....gotta ciao....my eyes are bloodshot now.....

QueenLiyn@11:41

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Funny...

Finally, I have some peace to blog.

I'm so glad that Taufik made history in becoming the first Singapore Idol. I was in a daze when he sang the song "I Dream". I was close to tears when he sang that song. I was admiring on how flawless his voice is. And maybe his looks...heh...

Okok...

I just got my first pay. Banking in the check tomorrow morning before heading to work. Had some minor stupid conflict with my parents. Supposed to divide the extra $20 among the 4 of them....ARGHHH! SUCKS!

Well, I'm selfish....that's me...

Been eating funny funny things for the past few days. Like today, for lunch I ate salad with black pepper chicken. But it was nice. Really....It reminds me of the chicken salad that I used to eat in school. Tomorrow, for lunch, I'll be eating honeystars cereal and jelly with cherry....hehehe

*sighs* Missing school. I want to go back to school.......

Created a new album on food. And also, I've updated some of the albums....

QueenLiyn@23:56

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